Daddy Long Stroke

I laugh, knowin’ this ho’s pussy’s achin’ for this thick chocolate to melt up in it. “So, you tryna suck on this dick? Fuck, what?”

“Yeah, nigga. All the above. Ain’t nothing changed.”

“Whatever, yo.”

“Oh, shit’s changed with us?”

“Check this out,” I say, sighin’. “There is no us. Never was, never will be. What part of the memo don’t you get? I ain’t fuckin’ wit’ ya smart ass. You always comin’ outta ya neck crooked ’n shit. So ’til you know howta talk to a muhfucka, you gets no more of this dick. Ya ass is on punishment.”

She laughs. “Punishment? Are you fucking serious? Nigga, please! Don’t think your dick is the only dick out here.”

What a fuckin’ smut! “Yeah, you right. It ain’t the only dick out there. And it’s probably not the only dick you got ya dick suckas wrapped ’round. But it’s the only dick ya dumb-ass keeps callin’ for. It’s the only dick that’s got you cryin’ e’erytime I finish beatin’ that pussy up.”

“Whatever.”

“Oh, so what you sayin’; this dick didn’t have you shakin’ and cryin’ the last time I fucked you?”

She sucks her teeth. “I hate ya black ass, nigga. You are so full of yourself.”

I laugh. “Yeah, yeah, yeah…Keep it gee, baby. You ain’t gotta front wit’ me. It is what it is.” I hear the shower stop. Hear Vita swing back the shower curtain. “Look, I gotta bounce.”

“Whatever. Am I gonna see you, or what? Damn.”

I grin, knowin’ if I decide to slay her ghetto ass, again, I’ma shred her muthafuckin’ hole to pieces for bein’ such a fucked-up bitch. “Maybe, maybe not. I—”

“Nigga, kiss my ass then,” she snaps, cuttin’ me off. “I’m not gonna beg ya black ass. You got the game fucked up, if you think I’m that pressed for some dick.”

I bust out laughin’.

“What the fuck’s so funny?”

“Your trick-ass,” I say, still crackin’ the hell up. “You talkin’ like you a real dime; like you gotta line of niggas pressin’ you for some of that raggedy-ass pussy. Fuck outta here!”

“Nigga, please. Your black ass can think what you want. But know this: I was getting it in before you, and I’ll be getting it in after you. So having a muhfucka come through and serve me some dick will never be a problem.”

I continue laughin’. “Whatever, ho. We both know ya ass’ll be blowin’ my muthafuckin’ line up again, tryna get ya back split ’cause ya dizzy ass can’t get enough of this long, black dick.”

“Fuck you, nigga.”

“Nah, baby, fuck you!” I press End. What a pigeon, word up! I don’t know why these bitches gotta play themselves. If a muhfucka ain’t beat to fuck wit’ ya ass, then take ya retarded ass on. But, noooo, its thirsty-ass hoes like her that’ll start stalkin’ a muhfucka ’cause he done shut off her cum supply. I shake my head. Fuckin’ pathetic!

When Vita finally comes outta the bathroom, I go in. Take my shower, then get dressed. Thirty minutes later, we’re out ’n about. She takes me to this Italian spot, Brio Tuscan Grille, down in Buckhead. And I can’t front; the food was bangin’. Bein’ out wit’ Vita wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, yeah, there were a few chicks and a couple a cats who were kinda lookin’ at us sideways ’n shit—well, at least in my head they were. But I didn’t really give a fuck. Keepin’ shit real, she ain’t half-bad.

After we grub, she shows me around Atlanta. We drive down to Piedmont Park and walk around for a while. Then we check out the Coca-Cola spot, The Underground, and the Aquarium. I guess I fuck her head up when I tell her I wanna check out the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial site. This silly bitch didn’t think a nigga like me would be interested in history. And I guess I fuck her head up even more when I look at her ass like she’s crazy when she says she’s lived in Georgia all her muthafuckin’ life and has never been there. And when I hear she’s never traveled outta the South, I’m really amazed. How the fuck can anyone be okay wit’ not ever explorin’ the world? Wow…that’s all I could think.

Eight A.M., Saturday mornin’, Vita comes skippin’ up into the bedroom singin’, “Happy birthday to you, happeeeee birthdaaaay to you! Haaaaaaaaaaappeeeeeeee birthdaaaaaaaaaaay, Dear Alley Cat… Happeeeeeeeeeeeeee birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu…”

I stretch and yawn, then lean over the side of the bed so I can see her. “Thanks, baby.”

I get up and sit on the edge of the bed, rubbin’ the sleep outta my eyes and grabbin’ the plush rug wit’ my toes. “Why don’t you climb ya sexy-ass back up on the bed?” She grins, climbin’ back up in bed. “Let me go drain this snake, then I’ma take care of ya.”

I get up and take a leak, wash my hands, then come back into the room. She’s sittin’ up in the middle of the bed wit’ two king-size pillows propped up in back of her. She smiles. “What, why you smilin’?” I ask, gettin’ back in bed.

“I’m happy,” she says.

“’Bout what?”

“All this, you holding me, making love to me, spending time with me…” I need to check my phone for any messages, I think. And see ’bout gettin’ at that Stone Mountain beauty before I bounce. I bet she got some good pussy, too. “…I’ve never met anyone like you. Or had a man treat me the way you have.”

And ya ass never will. “Oh, word?” She nods. I reach over and lightly kiss her on the lips. “I just want you to know how special you are. That’s all, feel me?”

She blinks. Her eyes start gettin’ all watery ’n shit. Fuck, here we go wit’ this teary-eyed shit! A muhfucka like me has no patience for a cryin’-ass ho. “You really think I’m special?”

Yep, you’se an extra special ho. Meep, meep…the short, yellow bus kind. I keep myself from laughin’. “No doubt, baby,” I say, liftin’ her chin up and lookin’ her in the eyes. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you anything different, ya heard?”

She nods. She smiles, gazin’ at me like she’s all in love ’n shit. “I wanna take you out to Phipps Plaza and buy you something really nice for your birthday.”

Now that’s what the fuck I’m talkin’ ’bout. “Awww, baby, you don’t have to do all that. Just bein’ here wit’ you is nice enough.”

“That’s sweet of you, but this is your day. And I want to make it very special. So I’ma take you shopping, then out to eat.”

“Yo, on some real shit,” I say, pullin’ her into me and kissin’ her on the lips. I slip my tongue in her mouth. We kiss for a few minutes before I pull back. “You really tryna fuck a nigga’s head up, baby.”

“I think you’re a really special man. And you deserve a woman who knows how to treat a man like you. A woman who can let you be the man you need to be; yet, still encourage and inspire you to be the best you can be…”

This broad sounds like she’s preparin’ for a muthafuckin’ campaign or some shit. Why can’t these hoes just enjoy a muhfucka wit’out tryna bring in all the extras. Damn! I wanna put the brakes on it, but decide to let it ride, for now.

“…I know I don’t really know you, but I’ve never felt this way about any man. And trust me. I’ve had my share of them to know what I’m talking about. I wish I could put what I’m feeling into words that made sense. Hell, I’m still trying to make sense out of it. All I know is you’re the type of a man I could fall in love with…”

Alrighty then! The whole time this chick is talkin’ I’m hearin’ cash registers and cuckoo clocks in my head. The shit’s hilarious to me. And I’m ’bout to bust out laughin’. But I fight to hold it in.

“…Do you believe in love at first sight?” I hear her ask.

Cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoo! “Nah, baby, not really.”

“Well, I hope I don’t sound crazy or anything, but I do. I knew the first time we spoke on the phone that I was going to fall for you. And when I picked you up at the airport, seeing you confirmed what I already was feeling in my heart.”

Cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoo!

“Listen, baby,” I warn. “Don’t do it to ya’self. A nigga like me ain’t ready for nuthin’ more than some pussy.”