DrSweetPussy: Hello
DaddyLongStroke: What’s poppin’, pretty baby?
DrSweetPussy: *blushing*
DaddyLongStroke: Come on, baby. Don’t get shy on a nigga
DrSweetPussy: Not shy; just embarrassed
DaddyLongStroke: Embarrassed? Why?
DrSweetPussy: That I’m doing this
DaddyLongStroke: Doin’ what?
DrSweetPussy: This. Talking to you. Thinking about cheating on my husband
DaddyLongstroke: Well, isn’t that what u’ve been lookin’ for? A little side action in ya life?
DrSweetPussy: Yeah
DaddyLongStroke: Well, don’t get scared now, baby. I ain’t gonna hurt ya.
DrSweetPussy: LOL. I’m not scared; just confused
I take two pulls from the blunt. Hold the shit in my lungs, then slowly blow it out. Confused? Give me a fuckin’ break! Obviously, the bitch ain’t gettin’ what she needs at home ’cause if she was, she wouldn’t be all up on BlackPlanet ’n shit prowlin’ for dick. And she damn sure wouldn’t be emailin’ and IM-in’ muhfuckas. Her ass ain’t gettin’ dicked right, and she wants a muhfucka wit’ a strong back and long dick to beat that shit up for her. And I’m just the man for the job. So what the fuck she confused about?
DaddyLongStroke: What u confused about?
DrSweetPussy: Maybe confused is the wrong word. More anxious than confused
DaddyLongStroke: About?
DrSweetPussy: Meeting u
DaddyLongStroke: Meetin’ me should be the least of your worries, I think. Whether or not you can handle a Mandigo stud should be. What kinda dr are u?
DrSweetPussy: A psychologist
DaddyLongStroke: Aaah shit. An educated freak
DrSweetPussy: LOL
DaddyLongStroke: I’ve slayed a lotta professional chicks, but a psychologist is gonna be my first
DrSweetPussy: *smiling* hopefully, it’ll be a good experience for the both of us
DaddyLongStroke: I’m sure it will be. Tell daddy some of ya fantasies, baby
DrSweetPussy: Umm, well, I fantasize about having sex in public, like on a beach with everyone watching. Other times I fantasize about speeding down the turnpike being completely naked and masturbating in my convertible.
DaddyLongStroke: Damn, baby. Sounds hot! What else?
DrSweetPussy: Being in the middle of a circle with a group of men jerking off while I’m playing in my vagina and watching them all stroke their penises over me. Then when they are ready to ejaculate, they cum all over me.
Vagina? Penises? Ejaculate? What the fuck?!? I take two more pulls. Allow the weed smoke to fill my lungs. This bitch gonna haveta come better than this. A nigga like me ain’t beat for all that proper shit. She’s gonna haveta bring it wit’ lil’ more raunch and wit’ a lil’ more filth than this bullshit, if she wanna get this dick hard. I blow out smoke and continue typin’.
DaddyLongStroke: Dig, what’s up wit’ all the proper talk? Loosen up, baby. Give it to me raw! Give it to me nasty, baby! Tell me how u wanna get that pussy rocked. How u wanna have a bunch of muhfuckas nut all over u. I need it uncut, ma, feel me?
DrSweetPussy: lol, I think I do. I’m just not accustomed to talking like that
DaddyLongStroke: Well, do u at least think it?
DrSweetPussy: Sometimes
DaddyLongStroke: Then let ya’self go. U can be free wit’ me, baby. Unleash the freak in u
DrSweetPussy: Letting go is kinda new to me. I’ve been with the same man for over twenty years
DaddyLongStroke: Sorry to hear that
DrSweetPussy: lol, don’t be. It hasn’t been that bad
DaddyLongStroke: Okay, if you say so. Yo, dig, baby. I ain’t beat for all this IM shit. U need to hit me up on the phone so we can talk. 973-555-0011. I wanna hear that sexy voice of yours.
DrSweetpussy: And who should I ask for?
DaddyLongStroke: Daddy Long Stroke. Thought u knew.
I close out the IM screen before she can respond back and shut off my laptop, pickin’ up my cell and callin’ Akina. She answers on the fourth ring, soundin’ all outta breath ’n shit. “Hey, stranger.”
“What’s poppin’, baby? Why you all outta breath?”
“I was working out,” she says, soundin’ like she has an attitude.
“Oh, word. For a minute I thought you was somewhere gettin’ ya fuck on.”
She sucks her teeth. “Yeah, right. The only fucking going on is with these fingers ’cause you too busy avoiding a bitch for anything else to happen.”
I laugh. “Oh, what, you upset?”
“Nigga, puhleeze, you wish. I’m horny as hell, and want some dick.”
I laugh. Although she’s always sayin’ she’s gettin’ it in wit’ other muhfuckas, if she is, I know they ain’t puttin’ in no real work. ’Cause if they were she wouldn’t be pressed ’bout me standin’ her ass up. But, no matter who else she’s fuckin’, Akina’s the type of dick-hungry chick that’ll keep my dick stuck up in her if I’d let her. “Oh, you want me to run this dick up in you?”
“What you think, nigga? I haven’t seen you since you got back from Atlanta. Do you know how long ago that was?”
“Yeah, it’s been a minute.”
“Exaaactly. And then you straight played me last week when you had me up in here with a wet pussy waitin’ for ya black ass to come through to serve me. Then ya ass never returned my fuckin’ calls.”
I hold back a laugh. “Yo, ma, on some real shit, I’m sorry ’bout that. The night I was ’posed to come through I ended up goin’ to the gym. And by the time I got home, a nigga was beat. I took a hot shower, smoked a blunt, then knocked the hell out.”
“Mmm-hmm, if you say so.”
“Why you say it like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you don’t believe me or some shit.”
“Humph. I know how you niggas do, especially your nasty ass.”
“Hmmm, you are so full of shit. Too hectic for you to at least pick up the phone and hit a bitch up? Hell, text or something. You sure you were in Atlanta with your grandmother and not some other bitch?”
“What?”
“You heard me,” she snaps.
“Yo, hol’ up,” I say, gettin’ defensive, “since when you start tryna check for a muhfucka?”
“I’m not checkin’ for you. I’m askin’ you a question.”
“Well, why’d you ask me some shit like that?”
