Daddy Long Stroke

Onmyknees2plez: Sure do

DaddyLongStroke: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s what they all say. Stop frontin’ and show ’n prove

Onmyknees2plez: Call me, TONIGHT

DaddyLongStroke: what’s ya number again?

Onmyknees2plez: 908-444-5533

DaddyLongStroke: Aiiight, bet. I’ma get at u later tonight

Onmyknees2plez: U better

DaddyLongStroke: So, Thick, what’s good? When we gonna meet up so I can split that back down the middle? A nigga tryna pop ya spine out

ThicknDaHips: Lmao@a nigga tryna pop ya spine out. U funny as hell

DaddyLongStroke: Nah, baby. I’m dead-ass. I wanna fuck. But, you da one frontin’ n shit. Hol’ up. Gotta piss. BRB

ThicknDaHips: Aiight

DaddyLongStroke: Aiight, I’m back

ILoveSweetCum: Oh, okay. I almost thought you forgot about me

DaddyLongStroke: Never that. So when u tryna wet this dick?

ILoveSweetCum: Call me. 973-555-3303

DaddyLongStroke: Aiight. I’ma hit u up lata

DaddyLongStroke: I’m back

ThicknDaHips: Geesh. Took you long enough. Musta been one helluva piss

DaddyLongStroke: Well, I gotta long dick so it takes me longer to piss

ThicknDaHips: LMAO. U stupid

I take a deep breath. All this back ’n forth IM’in’ is startin’ to give a muhfucka a damn headache.

DaddylongStroke: Nah, baby, ain’t nuthin’ stupid ’bout me stick-in’ this Mandingo cock up in ya

ThicknDaHips: Then let’s have at it

DaddyLongStroke: U talk a good one, baby

Another IM screen pops up. I shake my head. On some real shit, I can’t tell you the first thing ’bout any of these bitches, other than the fact they gotta pussy. And wanna fuck. I hear the garage door open, I log off the computer, abruptly cuttin’ all them cock-hungry hoes off.

My cell rings. I shake my head, glancin’ at the screen. It’s Candy; another one of them chunky-monkey bitches. She’s one of those tight-pussied chicks who borders between ugly and beasty, dependin’ on how the light shines on her. Her long, fake eyelashes and wide, pudgy nose makes her look like a chocolate Miss Piggy. Actually, the bitch kinda reminds me of a much thicker and wider version of that funny-lookn’ chick, Tiffany sumthin’. You know, the one who played New York on that busted-ass reality show, I Love New York. Anyway, ugly and fat or not—wit’ the lights out, she’s a damn good lay, a greedy cock sucka, and she knows howta lace a nigga.

“Yo, what’s good?”

“Hey, baby. You know it’s almost that time, so what you want for your birthday?” she asks. Damn, when did I tell her my birthday was? Shit, I have so many of ’em I forget which ho I done told which date to.

“My birthday?”

“Yeah, fool. Isn’t your birthday on the eighteenth of next month?”

“Right, right,” I say, chucklin’. “I got so much shit on my mind I almost forgot.”

She laughs. “You need to lay off the trees, baby. They got you forgetting your own birthday.”

Shut ya Samoan ass up wit’ that dumb shit! I think, sparkin’ a blunt. She’s been givin’ me a birthday fuck, along wit’ a few gifts, for the last four years. I haveta laugh ’cause chick really thinks she’s doin’ me a favor and givin’ me sumthin’ special. But, I let her fat ass think it’s the nicest shit anyone’s ever done for me. It makes her feel good that she’s makin’ a muhfucka feel special, so who am I to steal her joy. Besides, once a year is ’bout as much as I can stomach from her linebacker ass.

“Well, you know I ’preciate you always rememberin’. I can always count on you to come through to make a muhfucka like me feel special. That means a lot.”

“Awww, that’s so sweet.”

“Not as sweet as you and that tight pussy,” I tell her. Yeah, it’s a small lie, but it makes her feel good, and gets me what I want. “You need to let me come through so I can stretch that shit out for ya, now.”

She laughs. “You stay tryna fuck somebody.”

“And?”

“And, nothing; I’m just saying.”

“Well, what you sayin’? Can I beat that shit up, or what?”

“Yeah…”

“Oh, aiight. That’s wassup. Tonight?”

“No,” she says, suckin’ her teeth, “on ya birthday when I see you, like we always do.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know. You can’t knock a nigga for tryna get some pre-birthday sex.”

She laughs. “Whatever. I know you got enough bitches keeping your dick wet the rest of the year. But as long as I’m the one fucking that big-ass dick on ya birthday, it’s all good.”

I laugh wit’ her. “I feel you, baby. Yo, you votin’?

“Are you kidding? Hell yeah, I’m voting. I’ma be at the polls bright and early. Me, my mother, grandmother and three sisters.”

“Oh, aiight. That’s wassup. ’Cause if you weren’t, I was gonna haveta cancel this dick on you.”

She laughs again. “Well, that’s not about to happen, so I’ll see you on ya birthday.”

“No doubt,” I tell her, hangin’ up.

21

I’m layin’ ’cross my bed playin’ wit’ my dick. A nigga’s in the mood for some hot, nasty phone sex. But I don’t really have anyone I can hit up ’cause most of these bitches wanna fuck after ’bout a minute of me talkin’ this good shit to ’em. And all I wanna do is beat my dick, bust this nut and chill today. I grab the baby oil, wet my dick up wit’ it, then close my eyes. I long stroke it, usin’ my other hand to grab my balls, creatin’ a scenario of voices in my head.

Yeah, baby, you like this big dick, don’t you?…

Oh, yes…

You a nasty lil’ bitch.

I’m your nasty bitch, nigga…fuck my pussy.

Yeah, you want daddy to bang up that tight pussy; don’t you, you slutty bitch?

Yeah, nigga…fuck me with that long-ass dick. You nasty, black muhfucka.

Damn, you wettin’ a nigga up, baby. Hmm…this pussy’s good…let me take this dick out and slap it across them big-ass, slutty-dick suckas…

Oooh, yes, slap my lips with that heavy-ass dick, muhfucka. You gonna let me suck all over that thick-ass dick, nigga?

Yeah, I’ma let you suck ya pussy juice all off this dick…you gonna let me spit in ya mouth, then run this dick down in ya throat?

Nigga, if you spit in my mouth, I’ma smack the shit outta you.

I got both hands on my dick now, double strokin’ it.

Yeah, bitch, that shit turns me on…smack me, slut…I wanna bust this nut in ya hot-ass pussy. You gonna let me creampie you, then suck that shit outta ya?

Mmmmm…oooh, you a nasty, freaky muthafucka…I want you to slap ya dick on my ass, then fuck me deep in it…

I quicken my strokes, “Uh…uh…aaah, shit,” I moan, splatterin’ my nut all over my chest and stomach. I lie