Lover Reborn

This was good. She didn’t want to go inside. Didn’t want to walk across the foyer. Didn’t want to remember what she had been wearing, thinking, dreaming of when she’d been mated.

Dumb-ass fantasy of what life was going to be like.

Dematerializing to the far side of the barrier hedge, she had no trouble orienting herself. She and John had wandered out here in the spring, ducking beneath the budding branches of the fruit trees, breathing in the forgotten smell of fresh earth, holding each other against the chill that they knew was not long for the air.

So much possibility back then. And given where they were now, it seemed kind of fitting that all of summer’s warmth was gone, that vital blooming period missed altogether: Now the leaves were on the ground, the branches were bare once again, and everything was about hunkering down.

Well, wasn’t she a Hallmark card tonight.

Zeroing in on her mother’s grid, she went along the side of the house, passing by the French doors of the billiards room and the library.

No’One was down at the pool’s edge, a still figure spotlit by the blue glow of water that was yet to be drained.

Wow… Xhex thought. Something big had changed with the female, and whatever the shift was, it had altered much of her emotional superstructure. Her grid was jumbled up, but not in a bad way; more like a house that was undergoing extensive renovations. It was a good start, a positive transformation that was probably a long time in coming.

“Attaboy, Tohr,” Xhex murmured under her breath.

As if she had heard, No’One looked over her shoulder—and that was when Xhex realized that the hood that was always up was down, her mother’s cap of smooth blond hair suggesting that the stuff was braided, with the long end tucked under the robing.

Xhex waited for fear to light up that grid. And waited. And waited…

Holy shit, something really had changed.

“Thank you for coming,” No’One said as Xhex approached.

That voice was different. A little deeper. Surer.

She had been transformed in a lot of ways.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Xhex replied.

“You look well.”

“As do you.”

Stopping in front of her mother, she measured the way the flickering light from the pool played across the female’s perfectly lovely face. And in the quiet that followed, Xhex frowned, information flooding through her sensory receptors, the picture filling out.

“You are stuck,” she said, thinking that was kind of ironic.

Her mother’s brows flared. “As a matter of fact… I am.”

“Funny.” Xhex looked at the sky. “Me, too.”

Staring up at the strong, proud female in front of her, No’One felt the strangest connection to her daughter: as the restless reflections from the pool played over tough, grim features, those gunmetal gray eyes held an edgy frustration similar to her own.

“So you and Tohr, huh,” Xhex said casually.

No’One put her hands up to her hot blush. “I do not know how to respond to that.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up. It’s just—yeah, it’s all over your mind.”

“Not really.”

“Liar.” There was no accusation, though. No censure. Just a statement of fact.

No’One turned back to the water and reminded herself that as a half symphath, her daughter would know the truth even if she didn’t say a word.

“I have no right to him,” she murmured, looking at the pool’s churning surface. “No right to any of him. But that is not why I asked you to come—”

“Says who?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Who says he’s not yours.”

No’One shook her head. “You know all the whys.”

“No. I don’t. If you want him and he wants you—”

“He does not. Not… in all ways.” No’One brushed at her hair even though it was already back off her face. Dearest Virgin Scribe, her heart was beating so hard. “I can’t… I shouldn’t speak of this.”

It felt safer not to utter a syllable to a soul—she knew Tohr wouldn’t like to be speculated about.

There was a long silence.

“John and I aren’t doing well.”

No’One glanced over, brows up at her daughter’s candidness. “I… I had wondered. You have been long gone from here, and he has not looked happy. I had hoped for… a different outcome. On many levels.”

Including between the two of them.

And indeed, it was true what Xhex had said. They were each stalled—not exactly the accord one would wish for. However, she would take any commonality that presented itself.

“I think you and Tohr make sense,” Xhex said abruptly, as she began to wander down the edge of the pool. “I like it.”

No’One arched her brows again. And reassessed the no-talk rule. “Truly?”

“He’s a good male. Steady, reliable—damn tragic about what happened to his family. John’s been worried about him for so long—you know, she was the only mother John had. Wellsie, that is.”

“Did you ever meet her?”

“Not formally. She wasn’t the type to hang out where I worked, and God knew I was never welcome where the Brotherhood was. But I was aware of her reputation. Tough cookie—really blunt, a female of worth in that regard. I don’t think the glymera were big fans of hers, and the fact that she didn’t care about them was just another thing to recommend her, in my opinion.”

“Theirs was a true love story.”

“Yeah, from what I hear. Frankly, I’m surprised that he’s been able to move on, but I’m glad he has—it’s done you a world of good.”

No’One took a deep breath and smelled dry leaves. “He has no choice.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It is not my story to tell, but suffice it to say, if he could choose another path, any other, he would.”

“I don’t understand what you’re getting at.” When No’One didn’t fill in with explanations, Xhex shrugged. “I can respect the boundaries.”

“Thank you. And I’m glad you came.”

“I was surprised you wanted me here—”

“I have failed you too many times to count.” As Xhex visibly recoiled, No’One nodded. “When I first arrived herein, I was overwhelmed by so much, lost though I spoke the language, isolated though I was not alone. I want you to know, however, that you are the real reason I came—and tonight, it is time that I apologized to you.”

“For what?”

“For abandoning you at your very beginning.”

“Jesus…” The female rubbed her short hair, her powerful body wincing in place, as if she were having to force herself not to bolt. “Ah, listen, there’s nothing to apologize for. You didn’t ask to be—”

“You were a young, newly born unto the world, without a mahmen to care for you. I left you to fend for yourself when you could do little more than cry for warmth and succor. I am… so sorry, my daughter.” She put her hand up to her heart. “It has taken me too long to find my voice and my words, but know that I have practiced this for hours in my head. I want what I say to you to be correct, because everything has been wrong between you and me from day one—and it is all my doing. I was so selfish, and I lacked courage, and I —”

“Stop.” Xhex’s voice was strained. “Please… just stop—”

“—was wrong to ever turn my back on you. I was wrong to wait this long. I was wrong about everything. But