Chrissy arched her long neck and exhaled a puff of cigarette smoke toward the overhead paddle fan. I would try to get her to quit. Orders from her boy scout lawyer: no more shooting, no more smoking.
We sat there, side by side, talking. She told me everything she liked. Stone crabs and hash browns, Paris in the rain, snorkeling over tropical reefs. Yeah, and walks on the beach with somebody she cared about. We talked about plays and movies and even football. She had a decent understanding of the game and thought Troy Aikman was cute. I always thought quarterbacks were pampered, overpaid sissies, the rock stars of the business, but at least Aikman could take a hit.
We played a word association game we made up as we went along, and we laughed at each other's jokes. We talked about those who had sailed through our lives and examined each other's psychic scars.
I was quiet a moment, and she just looked at me.
'What?' I asked.
'No man has ever cared for me.'
It was such an outrageous statement that I laughed. Her look told me she was serious.
'That's hard to believe,' I said. 'Impossible, in fact.'
'Oh, men have bought me things, taken me places. They've used me, and I've used them. But they never cared for me.'
She let the line dangle there. I circled it but didn't bite.
'You do, though-don't you, Jake?'
'I do,' I said.
'So you don't have to pretend that this is just another case.'
'I won't. I can't.'
'Then talk to me. Tell me what you're feeling.'
'That's not easy for me. Never has been.'
'All right. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of…'
Court of what? She didn't say. Law? Last resort? Love?
'Tell me how you feel,' she ordered.
How do you wrap words around feelings? I didn't know.
'It's complicated,' I said. 'I have a duty to you. You're relying on me, not as a man, but as a-'
'Knight in shining armor.'
I shook my head. 'No, as a lawyer.'
She ground out her cigarette in a Super Bowl commemorative plate on the nightstand. 'Aren't you going to rescue me?'
'I want to. Believe me, I want…'
Outside, the mockingbird was at it again, and in the distance, a police siren wailed. 'What do you want, Jake?'
'I want to wrap my arms around you and carry you off somewhere. Someplace safe where no one can hurt you.'
'Ah, you are my knight.'
'No. The armor's rusted, the knees are creaky, and my steed has thrown a shoe. Besides that, I've always been a step too slow.'
She leaned over and kissed me. Smoky and sweet. 'Not for me,' she said.
Softly, tentatively, she kissed me again. Waiting for me to kiss her back. But I didn't. I stalled.
'It's important that we maintain some distance,' I said. 'At least until the case is over.'
'You mean geographical distance?' She scooted closer on the bed, gave me a playful smile, and ran a hand through my hair. 'Or emotional distance?'
'Both. I find the two are usually related.'
'Oh, I don't know. I've been physically close to lots of men. But not emotionally close.'
'Everyone's done that,' I said. 'But it's so meaningless. So.. '
'Empty.'
'Exactly.'
'You don't want to get involved with me, do you?' she asked.
'It's not that I don't want to. I can't.'
'What are you afraid of?'
'You. Me. I've been down this road before.'
'Would it be unethical?'
'Technically, yeah. The Bar passed a rule that prohibits lawyers from sleeping with their clients.'
'Really?'
'Unless they were involved before the case. Then the lawyer's grandfathered in.'
'Nice choice of words,' she said.
'But that's not the point. I didn't learn my ethics from a book. I just try to do what's right. And if we're involved, it'll cloud my judgment.'
'And we wouldn't want that,' she said, wriggling close enough that we were breathing the same oxygen.
'Chrissy, I'm serious.'
'So am I.' She stripped the T-shirt off over her head, and then the shorts that covered her bikini bottom, and then the bottom, too. She stood and stretched, and though there was something practiced in it, back arched, breasts thrust forward, a pose she may have struck a thousand times, it was also so completely natural and innocent as to be even more provocative. Which, of course, was exactly what she intended. Some beautiful women may be unaware of their effect on men. Others, particularly those whose living depends on their looks and the moods they can create, know precisely the effect of every tilt of the head, every turn of the hip, every shadowy smile. There is neither pride nor shame in their display of naked flesh. It is just a fact, and in the perfection of details, the symmetry of features, the combination of physical strength and robust health that emanates from such a creature, there is always the knowledge that it will fade. Next year's model will soon replace it, so if you possess such beauty, the time to use it is now.
Chrissy turned toward the door, giving me a view of her tapered back, the slope of her ass. She flicked the light switch, then whirled and came back to the bed, moving gracefully, silhouetted in the darkness, a lithe, willowy sexual animal totally aware of her powers. She sat down, tucked her legs under her, and leaned toward me, her breasts pressed against my chest.
I'm sure some man exists somewhere on this planet who could have resisted. But Pope John Paul II wasn't in bed with Chrissy Bernhardt. That poor excuse for a chivalrous knight, Jake Lassiter, was there, all six feet two, 223 pounds of him, blood pumping, imagination soaring. I needed a stern warning. Caution, libido loose. Dangerous curves. Slippery when wet.
She tilted her head and kissed me again. This time, I kissed back. Slowly, then deeply. I cradled her head in my hands, and we kissed some more, our tongues fencing; then she dug her teeth into my lower lip.
I wanted to save her and savor her, taste her and devour her. I wanted a thousand things, and all of them now. A yearning moan rose from her, and we clutched at each other, hands roaming.
She reached down and pulled off my boxers, which I kicked across the room. She let a hand run down over my chest to my stomach, to my crotch. I was so hard it hurt.
We kissed some more, hungrily, biting each other's lips, sucking, searching, finding. Our hands explored each other, stroking and grasping. I cupped a hand around a firm round breast and took a nipple between forefinger and thumb.
'Harder, Jake. It won't break.'
I squeezed, and she gasped, and I took the nipple into my mouth like a ripe red cherry. My hand swept down across her flat stomach and found the wet heat of her. As I touched her, she gasped, then grabbed me by the back of the neck and put her lips to my ear. 'Love me, Jake. Love me, please.' Her voice heavy with yearning and sadness and a crushing physical need. The sounds reverberating like a bass chord deep inside me. I wanted to cover her with my shield, to protect her from harm, to carry her away to a place where no one could hurt her again.
She spread her long legs and whispered again. 'Love me now, Jake.' The same desperate longing.
I pressed myself against her pubic bone, which ground into my shaft. I slid lower and she was open to me, steamy, waves of heat rising from her. I entered her, and she locked herself around me, and we fell into the same
