The Illustrated Gormenghast Trilogy

satin. And then his terror fled. Something masterful and even dashing began to possess him.

‘Irma,’ he whispered huskily. ‘Is this a desecration. Are we blotting the whitest of all love’s copybooks? It is for you to say. For myself I am walking among rainbows – for myself I …’ But he had to stop speaking for he wished, more than anything else to lie on his back and to kick his old legs about and to crow like a barn-cook. As he could not do this he had no option but to put his tongue out in the darkness, to squint with his eyes, to make extravagant grimaces of every kind. Excruciating shivers swarmed his spine.

And Irma could not reply. She was weeping with joy. Her only answer was to place her hand upon the headmaster’s. They drew together – involuntarily. For a while there was that kind of silence all lovers know. The silence that it is sin to break until of its own volition, the moment comes, and the arms relax and the cramped limbs can stretch themselves again, and it is no longer an insensitive thing to inquire what the time might be or to speak of other matters that have no place in Paradise.

At last Irma broke the hush.

‘How happy I am,’ she said very quietly. ‘How very happy, Mister Bellgrove.’

‘Ah … my dear … ah,’ said the Headmaster very slowly, very soothingly … ‘that is as it should be … that is as it should be.’

‘My wildest, my very wildest dreams have become real, have become something I can touch’ (she pressed his hand). ‘My little fancies, my little visions – they are no longer so, dear master, they are substance, they are you … they are You.’

Bellgrove was not sure that he liked being one of Irma’s ‘little fancies, little visions’ but his sense of the inappropriate was swamped in his excitement.

‘Irma!’ He drew her to him. There was less ‘give’ in her body than in a cake-stand. But he could hear her quick excited breathing.

‘You are not the only one whose dreams have become a reality, my dear. We are holding one another’s dreams in our very arms.’

‘Do you mean it, Mr Bellgrove?’

‘Surely, ah, surely,’ he said.

Dark as it was Irma could picture him at her side, could see him in detail. She had an excellent memory. She was enjoying what she saw. Her mind’s eye had suddenly become a most powerful organ. It was, in point of fact, stronger, clearer and healthier than those real eyes of hers which gave her so much trouble.

And so, as she spoke to him she had no sense of communing with an invisible presence. The darkness was forgotten.

‘Mr Bellgrove?’

‘My dear lady?’

‘Somehow, I knew …’

‘So did I … so did I.’

‘It is more than I dare dwell upon – this strange and beautiful fact – that words can be so unnecessary – that when I start a sentence, there is no need to finish it – and all this, so very suddenly. I said, so very suddenly.’

‘What would be sudden to the young is leisurely for us. What would be foolhardy in them is child’s-play itself, for you, my dear, and for me. We are mature, my dear. We are ripe. The golden glaze, that patina of time, these are upon us. Hence we are sure and have no callow qualms. Let us admit the length of our teeth, lady. Time, it is true, had flattened our feet, ah yes, but with what purpose? To steady us, to give us balance, to take us safely along the mountain tracks. God bless me … ah. God bless me. Do you think that I could have wooed and won you as a youth? Not in a hundred years! And why … ah … and why? Inexperience. That is the answer. But now, in half an hour or less, I have stormed you; stormed you. But am I breathless? No. I have brought my guns to bear upon you, and yet my dear, have scores of roundshot left … ah yes, yes, Irma my ripe one … and you can see it all? … you can see it all? … dammit, we have equipoise and that is what it is.’

Irma’s mental sight was frighteningly clear. His voice had sharpened the edges of his image.

‘But I’m not very old, Mr Bellgrove, am I,’ said Irma, after a pause. To be sure she felt as young as a fledgeling.

‘What is age? What is time!’ said Bellgrove – and then answering himself in a darker voice. ‘They’re hell!’ he said. ‘I hate ’em.’

‘No, no. I won’t have it,’ said Irma. ‘I won’t, Mr Bellgrove. Age and time are what you make them. Let us not speak of them again.’

Bellgrove sat forward on his old buttocks. ‘Lady!’ he said suddenly, ‘I have thought of something that I think you will agree is more than comic.’

‘Have you, Mr Bellgrove?’

‘Pertaining to what you said about Age and Time. Are you listening, my dear?’

‘Yes, Mr Bellgrove … eagerly … eagerly!’

‘What I think would be rather droll would be to say, in a gathering, when the moment became opportune – perhaps during some conversation about clocks – one could work round to it – to say, quite airily … “Time is what you make it.”’

He turned his head to her in the darkness. He waited.

There was no response from Irma. She was thinking feverishly. She began to panic. Her face was prickling with anxiety. She could make no sound. Then she had an idea. She pressed herself against him a little more closely.

‘How delicious!’ she said at last, but her voice was very strained.

The silence that followed was no more than a few seconds, but to Irma it was as long as that ghastly hush that