I've Got Your Number

You don’t understand.

What don’t I understand?

I can’t bear to type the words. Somehow I just can’t do it. Instead, I stretch out my arm as far as it will go, take a photo of myself, then examine the result.

Yes. It’s all there in the shot: my veil, my headdress, a glimpse of my wedding dress, the corner of my lily bouquet. There’s absolutely no doubt as to what’s going on.

I press Sam Mobile and then send. There. It’s gone through the ether. Now he knows. I’ll probably never hear from him again after this. That’s it. It was a strange little encounter between two people, and this is the end. With a sigh, I sink down into the chair. The bells above have stopped pealing, and there’s a strange, still quietness in the room.

Until suddenly the beeps start. Frantic and continuous, like an emergency siren. I pick up my iPhone in shock, and they’re stacking up in my in-box: text after text after text, all from Sam.

No.

No no no no no.

Stop.

You can’t.

Are you serious?

Poppy, why?

My breaths are short and ragged as I read his words. I wasn’t intending to get into a conversation, but at last I can’t stand it anymore, I have to reply.

What do you expect, I just walk away? 200 people are sitting here waiting.

Immediately, Sam’s reply comes firing back:

You think he loves you?

I twist the ring of gold strands round and round my right-hand finger, trying desperately to find a path through all the contradictory thoughts thrusting their way into my head. Does Magnus love me? I mean … what is love? No one knows what love is, exactly. No one can define it. No one can prove it. But if someone chooses a ring especially for you in Bruges, that’s got to be a good start, hasn’t it?

Yes.

I think Sam must have been poised for my answer, his replies comes shooting back so quickly, three in a row.

No.

You’re wrong.

Stop. Stop. Stop. No. No.

I want to scream at him. It’s not fair. He can’t say all this now. He can’t shake me up now.

Well, what I am supposed to do???

I send it just as the door opens. It’s the Reverend Fox, followed by Toby, Tom, Annalise, and Ruby, all talking at once in an excited babble.

“Oh my God! The traffic! I thought we wouldn’t make it.”

“Yes, but they couldn’t start without you, could they? It’s like planes.”

“They can, you know. They once took my luggage off the plane I was on, just because I was trying these jeans on and I didn’t hear the announcement.”

“Is there a mirror? I’ve got to do my lip gloss again.”

“Poppy, we got you some biscuits—”

She doesn’t want biscuits! She’s got to be slim for her big moment!” Annalise swoops down on me. “What’s happened to your veil? It’s all bunched up. And your dress is crooked! Let me … ”

“All right, missus?” Ruby gives me a hug as Annalise tugs at my train. “Ready?”

“I … ” I feel dazed. “I guess so.”

“You look great.” Toby is crunching a digestive. “Much better. Hey, Felix wanted to say a quick hello. Is that OK?”

“Oh, of course.”

I feel powerless, standing here with everyone milling around me. I can’t even physically move, because Annalise is still adjusting my train. My iPhone beeps, and Reverend Fox gives me a frosty smile.

“Better turn that off, don’t you think?”

“Can you imagine if it went off during the service?” Annalise giggles. “Do you want me to hold it for you?”

She holds out her hand and I stare back at her, paralyzed. There’s a new text from Sam in my in-box. His reply. Part of me is so desperate to read it, I almost can’t contain my hands.