beneath the city of Xhaxhu. I had been here twice before and remembered the route. But there was one very big difference. Xhaxhu was an oasis city surrounded by a vast desert. Its water supply came from a complex series of underground rivers. These rivers were the lifeblood of Xhaxhu. Without this water, the city would dry up and blow away. We had to pass one of these rivers on our way out of the tunnels, but when we came to it, I was stunned to see that the river was absolutely, totally dry. Instead of the fast-flowing waterway that I remembered, I saw a deep, empty trough with a few inches of dry dirt in the bottom. I rested Kasha’s body down and stood on the edge of what had once been a deep canal. I was speechless.
“This is why I knew you were coming,” Loor said. “But now is not the time. We must complete our task.”
I shook off the image of the dry riverbed. We picked Kasha up to continue our journey. When we climbed up into the city, I saw that it was the dead of night. The streets were empty. That was good. It would have been tough to explain what we were doing. We brought Kasha to the ceremonial center where the fallen warriors of Zadaa were cremated. Since the klee tradition was to cremate their dead, I thought it was the right thing to do. We wrapped Kasha’s body in a white cloth and gently placed her inside the stone structure where the fire would be set. Loor took on the tough task and lit the ceremonial fires. I had to step outside until it was done. I didn’t have the strength to gut this one out. It didn’t take long. Soon after, Loor came out of the crematorium carrying a silver urn that held Kasha’s ashes. I took it, felt its weight, and made a promise to Kasha thatIwould do all I could to one day scatter her ashes from Seegen’s perch, high above Leeandra.
“You must grieve for your friend,” Loor said. “I will grieve as well, for we have lost a Traveler. But we must quickly put it behind us, for there is much to do.”
“Saint Dane is coming here,” I said.
“Tell me something I do not already know,” Loor answered. “The war that I have feared for so long has begun. You saw the dry river below. The Rokador and Batu tribes have already spilled blood to control the rivers of Zadaa.”
There would be no time to rest. No time to grieve. No time to think back on the meaning of all that had happened and recharge our batteries for the next encounter with Saint Dane. I wasn’t surprised.
“And so we go,” I said softly.
“So we go,” Loor agreed.
This is where I’m going to end my journal, guys. I’m writing it in Loor’s small home in the warrior complex of Xhaxhu. Mark, Courtney, there are three things I want you to take away from this journal, and from what happened on Eelong.
The first, and maybe the most important, is that what happened was not your fault. Saint Dane gave us no choice but to do what we did. I believe he poisoned Seegen as the klee was leaving for Second Earth, so that you would discover the Cloral poison. You did exactly what you needed to do. If you hadn’t gone to Cloral to get the antidote, Eelong would have been doomed. Beyond that, Gunny and Kasha and I would probably have died too. Either way, we would have lost three Travelers.
Saint Dane manipulated us all. He told me his plans to wipe out the gars so that once we discovered the Cloral poison, we’d do all we could to stop him. Allowing an entire race to be killed is something he knew we’d never let happen. But this brings me to the second thing you must know.
I believe there is a balance to Halla, and to the territories. That’s why I’m now convinced that what Uncle Press told me so long ago is still the truth. Mingling the territories is wrong. Saint Dane did it because he’s trying to create chaos. But we can’t follow. He lured you guys into using the flumes, which was wrong. Each time you used a flume, it grew weaker. When you left Eelong, it was the last straw. That’s why the gate collapsed. Whatever force holds Halla in balance was disrupted. I believe this was Saint Dane’s plan all along. It’s why he met you on Second Earth and gave you Gunny’s hand. He tempted you into using the flumes, then gave you a reason to do it.
Saint Dane’s goal wasn’t to destroy Eelong, it was about forcing us to change the way things were meant to be. He wants to disrupt all of Halla. So I will repeat what I’ve said before. Do not use the flumes. I’m saying this now with more certainty than ever. If you do, what happened to the flume on Eelong might happen on Second Earth.
The final thing I want you guys to know, is that I am incredibly proud of you. I mean it when I say this wasn’t your fault. You two were brave and resourceful. Words can’t begin to describe it. I know you did this to help me, and for that I will always love you both. But I also know that you understand how important it is to stop Saint Dane. To risk your lives the way you did, man, I am in awe of you two. If there was one thing I wish, it would be that you were both Travelers. I’d give anything to have you here with me. But you can’t. I can only hope that you will continue to be my acolytes and protect my journals.
As I’m writing this, I have to admit that I’m really disturbed about the future. Our adventure on Eelong kicked this war with Saint Dane into another gear. Telling right from wrong, good from bad, isn’t so easy anymore. We broke the rules on Eelong. But we did it because we thought it was for a greater good. And it was. But we paid a steep price for it. My problem is, I’m afraid I won’t know what I should do when faced with this kind of decision again. Do I allow an entire race to be wiped out in order to play by the rules? Worse, do we let Saint Dane destroy a territory to save all of Halla? I still have nightmares about theHindenburg. We’re the good guys, but how moral is it to allow people to die, no matter what the reason? When I think like this, I wonder if I’m truly the right person to be the lead Traveler. I’ve done my best, I can say that for sure. But when the next difficult decision has to be made, will my best be good enough? I guess we’re all going to find out.
Be well, my friends. Try to go back to living your normal lives, though I’m not sure what normal is anymore. After what you went through on Eelong, I’m sure you’re going to have the same problem. For that, I’m sorry. When I write next time, I’ll bring you up to speed on the nightmare that I have found here on Zadaa.
Because it is a nightmare.
And so we go. Again.
END OF JOURNAL #19
