Lord of Lies

At this, Maram took another sip of tea and smiled to try to hide the dread building inside him. 'Ah, sir, it almost sounds as if you're proposing another quest to find this Maitreya. Please tell me that you're thinking of no such thing?'

'A moment ago,' Master Juwain reminded him, 'you were ready to oppose Morjin in any way you could.'

'I? I? No, no — you misunderstand me,' Maram said. 'I have already done my part in fighting Morjin. More than my part. We all have.'

I said nothing as I took a long sip of tea and gazed into Maram's eyes.

'Don't look at me that way, Val!' he said. He drained his cup in a sudden gulp, and banged it down upon the table. Then he stood up and began pacing about the room. 'I don't have your courage and devotion to truth. Ah, your faith in these great dreams of yours. I am just a man. And a rather delicate one at that I've been bludgeoned by one of Morjin's assassins, and nearly eaten by bears. And in the Vardaloon, I was eaten by every mosquito, leech and verminous thing in that accursed forest. I've been frozen, burnt, starved and nearly drained of blood. And the Stonefaces, ah, I don't even want to speak of them! I've been shot with arrows. '

Here he paused to rub his fat rump, each half of which had been transfixed by a feathered shaft during the siege of Khaisham. To this day, he claimed, it pained him to sit on top of a horse — or on chairs.

'Isn't all this enough?' he asked us. 'No, no, my friends, if there's another quest to be made, let someone else make it.'

I felt the ache in my side where one of Morjin's assassins had run me through with a sword. In my veins stilled burned, and always would burn, the kirax poison that he had fired into me with an evil arrow shot out of the darkness of the woods. 'We've all suffered, Maram,' I said softly. 'No one should ask that you suffer more.'

'Ah, but you ask when you speak to me like that. When you look at me with those damn Valari eyes of yours.'

'My apologies,' I said, glancing down at the floor.

'I just want to drink a little beer and write a few poems for Behira — what's wrong with that?'

In truth, Maram liked to consume much more than a 'little' beer. Ever since we had returned to Mesh with the Lightstone, he had devoted his considerable passions toward savoring life. My brother, Asaru, often accused him of sloth, but he really worked very hard in his pursuit of pleasure, filling up each day of the week. Sunday nights, for instance, were for drinking, and sacred Oneday brought more beer and brandy. Moonday was equally holy, and Arday was needed to recover from so much holiness. Then came Eaday, which he reserved for walks in the mountains and rides through the forest — usually with his betrothed, Behira, or another beautiful young woman — so that he could worship the glories of the earth. Valday nights were for singing and stargazing in similar company, while on Asturday he wrote love poems, and on Sunday he-rested yet again in preparation for the evening's drinkfest.

I smiled at Maram's peccadilloes, and so did Master Juwain, with curiosity as much as concern. Then he asked Maram, 'And what of Behira, then? Have you set a date for the wedding?'

'Ah, I've set at least three dates.'

He explained that he had kept postponing the wedding, offering one excuse or another. Most recently, he had argued that he and Behira should have news of the conclave before deciding anything so private and permanent as a wedding.

'I did not think Lord Harsha,' Master Juwain said, 'could be put off so easily in matters concerning his daughter's happiness.'

'Did I say there was anything easy about ail this? You should have seen Lord Harsha's face when 1 told him I couldn't possibly make vows in Ashte because the auguries were unfavorable.'

Master Juwain pushed back his chair, stood and went over to Maram. He rested his hand on his arm and asked, 'What's wrong? I thought you loved Behira?'

'Ah, I do love her — I'm certain I do. More than I've ever loved any woman. In fact, I'm nearly certain that she's the one I've been seeking all my life. It's just that…'

His voice trailed off as he reached into a deep pocket of his tunic and removed a red crystal nearly a foot in length. It was six-sided and pointed at either end; a large crack ran down its center, and a webwork of smaller ones radiated out from it so that no part of the crystal remained untouched. With this great gelstei, Maram had wounded the dragon, Angraboda, in the deeps of Argattha. But the great blast of fire had broken the crystal so that it would unleash fire no more.

'My poor firestone,' he lamented, squeezing the red crystal. 'I had hoped to find, in the Cup of Heaven, the secret of how it might be mended or forged anew. But I've failed.'

'I'm afraid I don't understand,' Master Juwain said.

Maram gazed at the crystal and said, 'As with this firestone, so with my heart. There's a crack there, you see. Some fundamental flaw in my being. Every time I look at Behira, love flows into me like fire. But I can't quite hold it. I had hoped to find in the Lightstone a way that I could. The way to make love last: that's the secret of the universe.'

Maram, I thought, was no different to anyone else. Everyone who stood before the Lightstone sought the realization of his deepest desire. But no one, it seemed, knew how to unlock the secrets of this blessed, golden vessel.

'I see, I see,' Master Juwain said. Then he reached into the pocket of his tunic. He brought out an emerald crystal, much smaller than Maram's, and stood looking at it. He said, 'Don't give up hope just yet.'

'Why, do you propose to heal my heart with that?'

Master Juwain studied the green gelstei that he had gained on our quest. With it, he had healed Atara of a mortal wound, as he had more minor ones torn into Maram's and my flesh. But too often the gelstei failed him. I knew that he dreamed the Lightstone might infinitely magnify the power of his healing crystal.

'I wish I could,' Master Juwain told Maram. 'But you see, I've little more knowledge of how the Ughtstone might be used than you do.'

'Then your journey was unsuccessful?'

'No, I wouldn't quite say that. In fact, I discovered several things of great interest in Nar.'

'What sort of things?'

'Well to begin with, it's becoming ever clearer that only the Maitreya will show what the Lightstone is really for'.

Here he turned toward me, and his large eyes filled with a soft, silver radiance. 'And you, Val — what have you found in the Lightstone?'

'More than I ever dreamed,' I said. 'But less than I hoped.'

Maram had said that love is the secret of the universe. But why did the One, in love, give us life only to take it away in the bitterness of death?

'I have looked for the secret of life.' I admitted.

'And what have you found?'

'That it's a mystery no man will ever solve.'

'Nothing else?'

I stood up and walked over to look out the window. Above Stlvassu — above all the world — Telshar's white diamond peak was gleaming in the light of the late sun.

'There have been moments,' I said at last, 'Once or twice, while I stood looking at the Lightstone, meditating — these bright moments. When the gold of the cup turns clear as diamond. And inside it, there is … everything. All the stars in the universe. I can't tell you how bright is their light. It fell upon me like the stroke of a shining sword that brought joy instead of death. I was alive as I've never been alive before, and every particle of my being seemed to blaze like the sun. And then, for a moment, the light, myself — there was no difference. It was all as one.'

As Maram pulled at his beard, Master Juwain listened quietly and watted for me to say more Then he spoke with a strange gravity. 'You should mark well the miracle of these moments. We all should.'

'Why, sir? Others have experienced similar things. I'm no different to anyone else.'

'Aren't you?'

He stepped closer to me and studied the scar cut into my forehead. It was shaped like a lightning bolt, the result of a wound to my flesh during the violence of my birth.