Black Jade

time. Now, I can speak again, and that's a miracle but it won't last because nothing does and yet everything. .'

She continued chattering on in a like way as we all sat listening in amazement. Her voice was sweet, passionate and perfectly clear It flowed with a musical quality, bright as the notes of a flute. It partook of Atara's diction and phrasing, and Liljana's, too, as if she patterned her speech after that of these two women whom she adored. And yet, this torrent of sound fairly soared with a wild joy that was all her own. It seemed that she wanted to cram the entire world into a few, quick, rushing breaths:

'. it's all so beautiful, and I'm so grateful, Val — Val, Val, Val! — so grateful to you for saving my life. For life. I've wanted so badly to sing with you, and Kane, our bright, bloody, beautiful Kane, and all of you, to sing and laugh: to laugh at Maram and his silly, stupid, wonderful jokes. To weep with Atara. No eyes, no tears, no hope, it seems, but love — love, love, love! There is so much to say. But so little, really, only one thing, and I should be glad I can speak again, almost as I did inside, not in words but in a kind of music that gives birth to words. Do you know what I mean? It's like the singing of the birds: so pretty, so pure, so here. . and now, and yet always and forever. This beautiful, beautiful thing — it sings me! I am so happy! And so I can't help singing, too, to the birds and the sky and the world, and everything sings back, in rubies and rainbows, in songs to the sun, and sometimes even in silence. The silence. It's pulling me back, soon, too soon, but don't feel sorry for me, please! These fires that the old men's gelstei lit inside me flare like little suns, but soon they will fade, I can feel it, quickly burning out but never quite out. Because it always blazes, even in dark things: black gelstei and burnt crosses and hate. Val! — even in the dead! In your father and mother, and mine, wherever they are, because no one is ever really dead and there is a light that always shines, the light, the light, the light. .'

As the candles' flames cast dancing shadows on the room's graven walls, we all sat regarding Estrella. At last, she seemed to run out of things to say. She sat peacefully on her cushion with her fingers laced together. I could not tell if she had fallen quiet for a moment or had returned to the deeper silence of the mute. And then Abrasax nodded his head and said to her. 'That was remarkable.'

'Yes, remarkable,' Master Storr agreed. But his voice swelled with a patronizing tone, and he seemed to regard Estrella as if she might be simpleminded. He said to her, 'I'm sure that we were all touched by your.. enthusiasm. But I'm not sure that any of our questions has been answered.'

'But you haven't asked me any questions yet!' she said to him. She smiled at him, and then laughed softly, and I felt her voice box vibrating like the strings of a mandolet.

'You must know, child, what we wish to know.'

Estrella looked at the Brotherhood's seven masters, who studied her every expression. She said, 'I think you want to know everything.'

Even the sour, serious Master Storr smiled at this. 'No, not everything — at least not tonight. But we would like to learn more concerning the Maitreya. Can you not tell us anything about him?'

'But I already did!'

Master Storr rubbed at his eyes and stared at her. 'To speak once again after so long a silence must be a strain on you. On your throat, on your lungs … even on your mind. I'm not sure that we all understood what you said.'

Her response to this was to smile at him as if she felt very sorry for his inability to apprehend the most simple of things.

'And so,' Master Storr continued, as his face reddened, 'we still have questions that we would — '

'But why don't you just ask them, then?'

Master Storr drew in a long breath as he squeezed his fingers around his purple crystal. And he said to Estrella: 'You are a seard — this seems beyond any doubt. But how is it that a seard can recognize the Maitreya?'

'How should I know,' she said, 'since I haven't recognized him yet?'

'But you must have some idea!'

Estrella brushed back the dark curls from around her eyes and glanced at Abrasax. 'How do you recognize the Grandfather when you meet him walking down a path?'

'But I know him! I've known him, now, for nearly fifty years!'

'I've known the Shining One for fifty thousand years. As long as the stars have shined. Really, forever.'

Master Storr waved his hand in the air, and shook his head. He seemed to give up hope of understanding anything that she told him.

And then Master Matai steered the questioning along a different tack as he asked her, 'Can you tell me where you were born, and when?'

'I'm sorry, but I don't remember. Perhaps it was in the Dark City.'

'In Argattha? But didn't anyone ever tell you how old you are?'

'No, I don't think they did. Does it matter?' 'It might help in corroborating the Maitreya's horoscope.' 'But if you've drawn up his horoscope, you already know how old he is and where he was born!'

Now it was Master Matai's turn to throw up his hand in frustration.

Then Abrasax said to her, 'Estrella, do you have any idea where the Maitreya might be found?'

With a quick, glad motion, she nodded her head.

'Where, then?'

And she told him, 'Here.'

'Here?' Abrasax said. 'Do you mean, on Ea? In these mountains?'

'No, here, with us in this room, I hope. He is.'

Abrasax's eyebrows pulled together. He seemed as mystified by Estrella as were Master Matai and Master Storr. He asked her, 'But who is the Maitreya, then?'

Without hesitation, she looked at me and said, 'Val is.'

My heart suddenly pounded inside my chest with hard, painful beats. I did not want to believe what I had heard her say.

And neither, it seemed, did Abrasax. He said to Estrella, 'You were with Valashu in Tria when it was finally proved that he could not be the Maitreya. And now you are telling us that he is?'

'Yes, he is,' Estrella said smiling at me. She turned to look at the table to the right of mine. 'And so is Maram.'

'Sar Maram Marshayk!' Abrasax said.

Maram's eyes widened in astonishment as he patted his overstuffed belly and belched.

'Yes, he — he is!' Estrella said. 'And Master Storr, too.'

The Master Galastei shook his head as he looked at Abrasax. And then Master Okuth, sitting next to him as he held out his green crystal, announced, 'The girl is tiring, and so we should conclude the test.'

'The girl is more than tired,' Master Storr said. 'She suffers from delusion.'

'No, only from confusion, I think,' Master Okuth said. 'We know that the Red Dragon, in making her mute, did mischief to her mind. Our gelstei have let her summon up words but it seems have not undone the harm. There is something about her words and our understanding of them, and vice versa, that doesn't quite go together. It is like oil and water.'

'Her words,' Master Storr said, speaking in front of Estrella as if she were only one of the room's ornaments, 'are as unreliable as thin ice over a pond. I do not see how we can trust her to! recognize the Maitreya.'

Liljana, sitting next to me, had finally had enough of Master Storr's rudeness. She leaned over to the table next to her, and threw her arm around Estrella as she said, 'You speak of words, and yet fail to use them precisely. Kasandra prophesied that Estrella would show the Maitreya, not merely recognize him.'

'I'm not sure I see the difference,' Master Storr said.

'I'm not sure you do,' Liljana said, drawing Estrella closer as she glared at Master Storr. 'And so who is deluded?'

At this, Abrasax held up his hand as if to ask for peace. He said, 'And I'm not sure that words, or any understanding of them, will help Estrella fulfill the prophecy. Her mind might or might not have been harmed, but