Her own heart pounded in her ears as he deepened the kiss. She didn’t remember opening her mouth to him, but their tongues were moving together in a rhythm that resonated deep inside her. She felt a growing urgency in him that was both frightening and exhilarating.
His fingers were buried in her hair, and his body was taut with the same tension that ran through hers. As he ran hot, wet kisses beneath her ear and down the side of her throat, she cupped his jaw with her hand. The rough day’s growth of beard tickled the sensitive skin of her palm and sent shivers of pleasure up her arm.
She loved his face. Touching it now made her realize that she had been longing to hold it in her hands since the first night he returned.
She sucked in a shaky breath as he worked his way along the top of her bodice with his mouth. Now. She should stop him now.
But she was hungry for a man’s touch. For this man’s touch. For Ian.
She stopped breathing as he slowly slid his tongue over the curve of her breast. It was as if Ian read her body, for no sooner was she aware of a low ache between her legs than he made it worse by resting a warm, heavy hand on her thigh. When she made a sound at the back of her throat, he lifted his head to capture her mouth again.
She was light-headed, drowning in his kisses. How long they kissed she could never have said. When he pulled away, she became aware of his hand moving up her thigh and his breath hot in her ear.
“We need to move to the bed,” he said, his voice rough with longing, and she wanted to go wherever he was taking her. “I don’t want to make love to ye the first time in a chair.”
Putting to words where this was headed finally brought her to her senses.
“No,” she said, pushing him away.
He dropped his forehead on her shoulder. “Sil, don’t say no,” he said, sounding as if he were in pain. “Please.”
The room had become sweltering, and the only sound was their harsh breathing.
“I want ye something fierce.” Though he didn’t touch her except where his forehead rested on her shoulder, the air vibrated with the tension between them.
“I said no.” She didn’t try to push him away again, for fear that if she touched him she could not make herself let go again.
He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Whatever ye say,” he whispered, then he leaned back on his stool. “But will ye tell me why?”
The heat in his gaze burned her skin. She bit her lip but wouldn’t answer.
“Ye can’t tell me ye don’t like it when I kiss ye,” he said, his voice rich like honey on her tongue. “Or that ye don’t like the way I touch ye, because I can tell ye do.”
His words sent another wave of heat through her.
“I believe ye would enjoy… the rest.”
Oh, aye. She used to wonder if she would enjoy marital relations, but now she was quite certain she would—at least, she would if it were with Ian. Her heart was still pounding as if she’d run a race.
He ran a finger lightly up her arm, sending another bolt of heat low in her belly. “Is there something that worries ye? Something you’re afraid of?”
There was, but she wasn’t telling him.
“Ye might fear it will hurt the first time I bed ye,” he said, “but I’m thinking it’s something else that is holding ye back.”
She swallowed, wondering how he had guessed.
“I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
Ian sounded sincere, as best she could tell through the pounding in her ears. But she wasn’t going to tell him. She had decided that she needed more from him than desire. Yet that wasn’t what stopped her tonight. In truth, when he was kissing her like that, his lack of love and devotion couldn’t have been further from her mind.
No, it was a different fear that had brought her back to her senses and given her the strength to bring a halt to what they both wanted.
“Ye used to trust me,” he said, taking her hand and rubbing his thumb across the heel of her palm.
There was a time she would have told him anything. But not now.
Nothing could make her admit that what she feared was seeing the fire in his eyes cool when he saw her naked. In her ignorance, she used to think it would be possible to keep her clothes on when her husband took her to bed. But from the determined way Ian set about trying to get them off her, that seemed unlikely.
Most unlikely.
If he loved her, she might not be afraid to let him see her. If she didn’t love him so much, it might not matter to her.
“Ye were fearless as a child,” he said, his eyes softening with his smile. “Truth be told, ye used to scare me sometimes. It almost seemed as if ye got yourself into trouble just so I would have to save ye.”
“It’s true, I did.” She choked on the words; it was a hard thing to admit. “I trusted ye utterly. But I don’t trust ye now.”
She saw the flash of hurt in his eyes before he pressed his lips together and nodded. Her mouth grew dry as the tense silence between them lengthened.
“I failed my family and my clan by not being home when I was needed. I want to make amends, to make things
