Divergence

Judy yawned again, stretching her hands above her head, sensually waving her fingers in starlight patterns.

“You were right as well, of course. You were born of a sort of cosmic virus. It touched the Earth and you were born, but you haven’t developed properly, have you? You weren’t supposed to think . FE

doesn’t think—it just is . I wonder what made you start thinking?”

Something changed inside the lift. The slightest noise, almost like an intake of breath.

“Because that’s all you are: FE. I examined the FE back on the Eva Rye , looked at it through the meta-intelligence, and it looked almost like life. Like life that was stilled. That’s all you were ever supposed to be. FE forms everywhere in the universe: it builds its own container. All those years ago, back when Eva Rye was alive, FE formed here on Earth. It was supposed to help make things fairer. But when FE first started to appear, we thought it was something else. We gave it a name. We called it—called you —the Watcher. And all of a sudden you became a person. And I suppose you are now, but that wasn’t what you were at the start. Back then you were just FE software, but we looked at you and saw ourselves in you, and you became alive….”

Her voice trailed away.

“I think I finally realized what you were when I saw this building here being re-formed. I think Maurice knew that well before. I wonder when Constantine figured it out? He saw something forming in the processing space in the ziggurat, but he wouldn’t have encountered FE until much later. Definitely not until he got off that planet you marooned him on. But, even back then, he must have realized something was wrong. He must have realized that you weren’t what you thought you were. Funny that, you leaving him marooned to find out the secret of your origins. And now that secret is coming back to hit you in the face.”

She paused again. The lift had changed direction. Now the meta-intelligence saw the FE of the DIANA building sliding towards her at an angle.

“Maurice is very clever: he saw that FE is the medium and the message. It can form seemingly out of nothing. That’s what happened to you, isn’t it? That’s how you were born. It wasn’t anything to do with the processing spaces in which you appeared; you built your cradle and yourself at the same time. I wonder, were you here on Earth all along, written in the stones and plants? Was Eva right? Were you a natural consequence of the initial conditions, just like the Huddersfield Barge Company? Is FE

intrinsically written into the fabric of the universe at some level?”

Was that the sound of a footstep? The sound of someone clearing their throat before they entered the room? Just on the edge of her subconscious, the Watcher was announcing his imminent presence, getting ready to ease himself into her psyche, to take up position in her mind.

“Oh, I don’t care anymore,” she said. “I don’t care. I’ve come back here and, honestly, I’m too tired to go on. I saw the way people looked at me back in the outside world. I read what Maurice and Saskia and the rest were thinking. They saw the pressure building up inside me as I continued to force my emotions back down, and they nudged each other and said— Look, there she goes again. She keeps pushing down her feelings. You mark my words; she can’t do that for much longer. She’s going to explode, and all of that passion will come bubbling out.

“But they were wrong. I was like a clock: I got wound up tighter and tighter, and in the end the spring just snapped and left me like this—broken and unmoving. All of that emotion I built up during my lifetime never got the chance to break free. Ah, it was wiped from the universe before it had a chance to be born.”

The FE fell still. The lift had reached its destination.

“Well,” Judy said, “I’m ready to meet you.”

The doors slid open.

“Hello, Judy,” said the Watcher.

The Watcher could take on any appearance that he chose. He habitually chose that of a young Japanese man, this time neatly dressed in a black passive suit.

“Hello,” Judy said. She giggled and turned around in the corridor, hugging herself tightly. “Well, what do we do now? What have you brought me here for?”

The Watcher was silent.

“Should we make love?” Judy laughed. “A symbolic union between yourself and humanity? That would make sense, wouldn’t it? And me a virgin, too. Keeping myself untouched and unspoilt for all these years.”

The Watcher seemed unperturbed. “I think you will calm down soon, Judy.”