The ‘it’ Susan referred to was the season’s social calendar—or, more to the point, having a social calendar. Susan had just turned seventeen, and my eighteenth was fast approaching. I had convinced my tutor and my parents to delay my social ‘coming out’ for a year until Susan had come of age and we could face the marriage market together.
The marriage market was a round of balls, dances, dinner parties, breakfasts and similar festive affairs, during which a young woman was presented to society for the sole purpose of catching herself an eligible young man to marry. Personally, I was disgusted by the whole idea. I had no desire to join this marketplace. I liked my girlish clothes, being ignored by adults and being too young to be expected to attend social affairs. All that was about to change, and after years of being able to be honest and forthright about my opinions and theories, it would be back to playing social games and biting my tongue.
‘Aren’t you excited?’ Susan interlocked her arm with mine and gave it a squeeze as we proceeded to Lady Charlotte’s withdrawing room. ‘Finally, we can show cleavage!’
‘Actually,’ I confessed, ‘I’d much prefer a nun’s habit and a convent, if it didn’t mean dedicating my life to the ridiculous doctrines of the church.’
‘Shh,’ Susan giggled, vigilantly trying to keep my loose tongue out of trouble. ‘This will be far more fun if you leave the church out of it.’
My worst fears were realised when Lady Charlotte informed me she had received a letter from my father, requesting that I join him at our London residence in St James after the Easter holiday season.
Lord Granville, having no male heir, was eager to see me wed. He hoped that I might produce a grandson to whom he could bequeath his peerage, rather than see it pass to whoever I decided to marry. I was the last living relative of my father’s line and he resented that the Granville name would no longer be attached to his estates once he died—whether I produced a male heir or not. Still, my inheritance did make me an attractive candidate for marriage and my father would most likely be indebted to anyone who took me off his hands and would warmly welcome them into the family.
Susan would also be travelling to London to stay at the Earl of Derby’s house on Mayfair, opposite Hyde Park. We were not at all excited by the prospect of being separated, having lived in each other’s pockets for ten years, though Susan was too excited by the event of entering society to allow our imminent separation to dampen her mood. She swore that we would visit each other every day, attend all the same grand social occasions and, of course, go shopping. I was not an enthusiastic shopper, but I did delight in witnessing the enjoyment Susan derived from the exercise. She was far more aware of the latest fashions than I, and if it were not for my dear friend’s good taste, I would have dressed in the fashions of the previous decade.
‘To mark the grand occasion of your coming out into society,’ Lady Charlotte added, ‘my dear nephew, the Earl of Derby, has kindly invited us all to his estate in the Midlands, where he intends to hold balls, dances and dinner parties in your honour. This will give you both an opportunity to exercise your social skills in the ease of the country before your introduction to London society and court.’
‘How exciting, Ashlee.’ Susan gripped my hand tight. ‘Only one more month of isolation! And there’s so much preparation to be done.’
The library was the reason this manor had been chosen as the best place for Susan’s education, and hence my own. Lady Charlotte had also shipped over her collection of rare esoteric books from her residence in Paris. The lady had collected this treasury of works during her time on the Continent and as many were banned here in England, they were priceless to me. I would mourn Scotland terribly.
Lady Charlotte excused Susan and asked me to stay and speak with her a moment.
‘I’m going to start working on some sketches for the dressmakers!’ Susan fancied herself as a fashion designer, and she had been closely following the adult fashions for some years now, so I felt sure I could rely on her good taste to make me look the part when the big event arrived. ‘I have everything in hand,’ she said as she kissed me goodnight, curtseyed to Lady Charlotte and withdrew to her room.
‘I realise this news is not as thrilling for you as it is for my dear Susan.’ Lady Charlotte reached for her wine glass. ‘And that the social adjustment will not be as effortless.’ Her pale blue eyes turned back to me. ‘Yet you have exceeded my expectations as a student, Miss Granville. Your aptitude for languages and all academic endeavours would rival any daughter of royal blood. Your grasp of the social graces will, and
‘I would never disgrace you, Lady Charlotte, or the good name of the Cavandish family, who have been so generous to me,’ I assured her. It was a great honour for me to be on such intimate terms with the Dowager Countess Cavandish, for she insisted that in private I should use her name. ‘I know what is expected of me. I shall do my utmost to uphold your standards and excellent tuition.’
She smiled a knowing smile that conveyed her great affection for me. ‘I know you shall, child. I hold no fear on that account. I would not even raise this issue with you if I did not know from my own experience how difficult and frustrating such concealment can be. You will become aware of injustice that you cannot correct without exposure to ridicule and ruin; souls you cannot aid without risk to your reputation; beings and entities you must ignore to save ending up in an asylum for the rest of your days. More than most women, your knowledge will be a prison to you, I fear.’
The lady’s eyes had drifted to the fireplace, and there seemed a great sadness in her countenance, or was it empathy for the trying times I had ahead of me? ‘Perhaps I shall one day have the good fortune to be an independently wealthy widow, like you, Lady Charlotte.’
The countess responded to my suggestion with a slight laugh, which caught in her throat and caused her to cough. She steadied herself. ‘My greatest wish for you, my dear, is that you find a kindred spirit to take for a husband and have a deep and lasting love for the rest of your days. For I was not relieved to be widowed, nor shall I ever regret my choice of husband.’
‘Forgive my presumption. I meant no disrespect—’
‘I know you did not.’ She held up a hand to silence my apology. ‘You have the great advantage to be capable of discerning a good soul at a glance. I pray that you use your gift to secure yourself the greatest happiness.’
‘And so I shall, Lady Charlotte.’ I smiled warmly to make light of her fears.
At this point the countess was seized by a coughing fit, and I was given my leave of her.
My mind was still mourning my impending departure from Neith Manor as I entered my room, which was dark except for the fire that was keeping the cold at bay. The news of my society debut had caused me
