Okay.
Then a plot appeared in my head and I understood it almost as soon as it appeared there.
The plot consisted of the number of abductees on the vertical axis and the year along the horizontal axis. There were two curves traced on the plot. One was a bold black line, which represented the total number of abductees as a function of time. The second trace was a thinner gray line that represented the percentage that would not have been allowed access to Mike. The majority of the 'isolated abductees' appeared at two peaks. One was near 1944 and the other was centered at 2018.
Mike?
Yes, Steven?
I am not a history buff, but don't most of these peaks coincide with a war of pretty good magnitude? I mean, you got peaks during the Crusades, the American Revolution, the Civil War, the World Wars, et cetera. Isn't this true?
You are correct, Steven. All of the peaks correspond to major wars.
'All of the peaks correspond to major wars . . .' I mumbled to myself. 'All of the peaks . . .' I mumbled it again. 'All of . . . Holy Shit! Mike can't tell lies and that would imply that there was a major war in 2018! But . . .'
Mike?
Yes, Steven?
The peak in 2018 A.D. was The Rain, not a major war, right?
Yes and no.
Yes and no? Yes and no! What the hell does that mean?
You are both correct and incorrect.
Please refine your answer, Mike!
Okay, Steven. The event that you refer to as The Rain is indeed the event the peak of the abductions corresponds with. However, the event that you call The Rain was indeed a major war.
'The event that you call The Rain was indeed . . .'
Mike, you must be confused. The Rain was a bunch of meteor impacts. You know, meteor rocks from outer space collided with the Earth.
Please refine the question, Steven.
'Goddamnit!' My frustration forced me to forget to think at Mike when I cursed him.
Goddamnit, Mike! I mean, aren't you confused? The Rain was a bunch of large meteors that impacted the Earth, correct?
No, Steven. I am not confused. The Rain was due to impacts of multiple collisions of the Earth with arbitrary and artificial gravitational field bubbles in the spacetime continuum. It was not meteors.
What the hell are arbitrary and artificial gravitational field bubbles in the spacetime continuum?
I am sorry, Steven, but you do not have a knowledge basis for which I can begin explaining to you.
You mean I'm not smart enough to understand the explanation?
No, Steven. I mean you have no basic knowledge of the subject for me to explain it to you.
What basic knowledge do I need?
You would call it math and physics, but more specifically your species understands it as General Relativity and Quantum Physics.
No shit? Then teach me all I need to know to understand.
Okay. It will take a few seconds.
A few seconds later and I was a Nobel Prize-caliber physicist. I understood about spacetime curvature and mass-energy density and wormholes and warp drives. The math that I had learned was incredible. I could understand all of the gravitational effects in the universe with a simple tensor equation. Five seconds ago I only had a vague notion that tensors even existed.
Okay Mike, you are telling me that The Rain was a bunch of warp bubbles colliding with Earth at high warp velocities?
Yes, Steven.
Then aliens attacked Earth?
No, Steven.
Then where did these warp bubbles come from?
Earth.
Earth! We don't have that kind of technology!
Please refine the question, Steven.
