drum. Finally, it subsided and just as quickly as it had developed into a heavy downpour, it became a slight drizzle. The sky lightened and moments later, a ray of sunlight threaded itself through the opening in the overcast and dropped a shaft of warm brightness over our home.
Grandmere Catherine took a deep breath of relief and shook her head.
'I never get used to those sudden cloudbursts,' she said. 'When I was a little girl, I used to crawl under my bed.'
I smiled at her.
'I can't imagine you as a little girl, Grandmere,' I said.
'Well, I was, honey. I wasn't born this old with bones that creaked when I walked, you know.' She pressed her hand against the small of her back and straightened up. 'I think I'll make a cup of tea. I'd like something warm in my stomach. How about you?'
'All right, Grandmere,' I said. I sat at the kitchen table while she put up the water. 'Grandpere Jack is doing some guiding for hunters again. I just saw him in the swamp with two men. They shot a deer.'
'He was one of the best at it,' she said. 'The rich Creoles were always after him when they came here to hunt, and none ever left empty-handed.'
'It was a beautiful deer, Grandmere.'
She nodded.
'And the thing is, they won't care about the meat; they just want a trophy.'
She stared at me a moment. 'What did you tell Paul?' she finally asked.
'That we shouldn't just be with each other, that we should see other people. I told him because I was an artist, I wanted to meet other people, but he didn't believe me. I'm not a good liar, Grandmere,' I moaned.
'That's not a bad fault, Ruby.'
'Yes, it is, Grandmere,' I retorted quickly. 'This is a world built on lies, lies and deceptions. The stronger and the more successful are good at it.'
Grandmere Catherine shook her head sadly.
'It looks that way to you right now, Ruby honey, but don't give into the comfort of hating everything and everyone around you. Those you call stronger and successful might seem so to you, but they're not really happy, for there is a dark place in their hearts that they cannot deny and it makes their souls ache. In the end they are terrified because they know the darkness is what they will face forever.'
'You've seen so much evil and so much sickness, Grandmere. How can you still feel hopeful?' I asked.
She smiled and sighed.
'It's when you stop feeling hopeful that the sickness and the evil wins over you and then what becomes of you? Never lose hope, Ruby. Never stop fighting for hope,' she advised. 'I know how much you're hurting now and how much poor Paul is suffering, too, but just like this sudden storm, it will end for you and the sun will be out again.
'I always dreamed,' she said, coming over to sit beside me and stroke my hair, 'that you would have the magical wedding, the one in the Cajun spider legend. Remember? The rich Frenchman imported those spiders from France for his daughter's wedding and released them into the oaks and pines where they wove their canopy of webs. Over them, he sprinkled gold and silver dust and then they had the candlelight wedding procession. The night glittered all around them, promising them a life of love and hope.
'Someday, you will marry a handsome man who could be a prince and you, too, will have a wedding in the stars,' Grandmere promised. She kissed me and I threw my arms around her to bury my head in her soft shoulder. I cried and cried and she petted me and soothed me. 'Cry honey,' she said. 'And like the summer rains turn to sunshine so will your tears.'
'Oh, Grandmere,' I moaned. 'I don't know if I can.'
'You can,' she said. She lifted my chin and looked into my eyes, hers those dark, mesmerizing orbs that had seen evil spirits and visions of the future, 'you can and you will,' she predicted.
The teapot whistled. Grandmere wiped the tears from my cheeks and kissed me again, and then got up to pour us our cups.
Later that night, I sat by my window and looked up at the clearing sky and I wondered if Grandmere was right; I wondered if I would have a wedding in the stars. The glitter of gold and silver dust danced under my eyelids when I lay my head on the pillow, but just before I fell asleep, I saw Paul's wounded face once more and then I saw the marsh deer open its mouth to voice an unheard scream as it crumbled to the grass.
5
Who is the Little Girl If It's Not Me?
The weeks before summer and the end of the school year took ages and ages to pass. I dreaded every day I attended school, for I knew that some time during the day, I would see Paul or he would see me. During the first few days following our terrible talk, he continued to glare at me furiously whenever he saw me. His once beautiful, soft blue eyes that had gazed upon me with love so many times before were now granite cold and full of scorn and contempt. The second time we approached each other in the corridor, I tried to speak to him.
'Paul,' I said, 'I'd like to talk to you, to just—'
He behaved as if he didn't hear me or he didn't see me and walked past me. I wanted him to know that I wasn't seeing another boy on the side. I felt dreadful and spent most of my school day with a heart that felt more like a lump of lead in my chest.
