'You'll never stop loving him,' he muttered bitterly. 'I was a fool to think otherwise. If I only had listened to my mother . . .' He sighed deeply and turned.
'I can't help the way I feel about him, Paul.'
He nodded and looked very thoughtful for a moment. 'Maybe you have to live with him to see what sort of a man he really is. Maybe then you'll understand the difference between him and me.'
'Paul, I love you for what you've done for Pearl and me and your devotion to me, but we've been living only half a marriage. Besides, we once agreed that if either of us could have someone else, someone we loved and could have a full relationship with, the other would not prevent it.'
He nodded. 'What a dreamer I was when I made those vows with you on your Grandmere Catherine's gallery. Oh well,' he continued with a wry smile, 'I'll finally be able to do something that will make you truly happy.' His eyes suddenly brightened with an additional thought. 'Even more than you and Beau would expect.' He paused, his face tight with determination.
'What?' I asked, breathlessly.
'When you call Beau, tell him we'll bring Gisselle here,' he said.
'What?'
'He's right. What difference will anything make to her now? You and I will go to the ranch after lunch tomorrow. I have some important business to conduct. We'll pretend we're going for a short holiday and then I will return with Gisselle and give out the story that it is you who have suffered the encephalitis. I'll fix a comfortable place for her upstairs and we'll have nurses around the clock. Since she has lapses of memory and is confused and semiconscious most of the time, it won't be difficult.'
'You would do that for me?' I asked, incredulous.
He smiled. 'I love you that much, Ruby. Maybe now you'll really understand.'
'But I can't do this to you, Paul. It would be too hard and unfair.'
'It's nothing. In this big house, I wouldn't even notice the arrangements,' he said.
'I don't mean only that. You have a life to live, too,' I insisted.
'And I will. In my own way. Go on, call Beau.'
He had such a strange look in his eyes. I sensed that he believed this would somehow bring me back to him someday. Whatever his reasons, it certainly made our switch of identities far more possible.
I turned to call Beau and then stopped, realizing the biggest problem of all.
'We can't do this, Paul. It's impossible.'
'Why?'
'Pearl!' I said. 'If I'm Gisselle, what happens to her?'
Paul thought a moment and then nodded. 'With you supposedly seriously ill and with our nanny gone to care for her own family, I will take her to live with her aunt and uncle until the ordeal at Cypress Woods ends. For the time being, it will serve as a good cover story.'
I was overwhelmed with his quick thinking. 'Oh, Paul, I don't deserve this kindness and sacrifice. I really don't,' I cried.
He smiled coolly. 'You'll come visit your sick sister from time to time, won't you?' he asked, and I understood that in this strange way, he hoped to keep me tied to him.
'Of course, although Gisselle wouldn't care.'
'Be careful,' he warned with another grin. 'Don't be too nice or people will say . . . what's come over her? She's not herself these days.'
'Yes,' I said, realizing how great the challenge ahead of me was. I had very little confidence in myself. For now, I would have to be happy with only desire, the desire to be with Beau as his wife forever. Maybe that was enough. For Pearl's sake and mine, I prayed it was.
Book Two
11
Nothing Ventured
Beau was very excited and happy about Paul's proposal, but I was troubled by Paul's willingness to be part of this. What was he thinking? What was he hoping would happen as a result? I tossed and turned all night, haunted by the things that could go wrong and expose our deception. Once that happened, people would want to know more, and then the truth about Paul and me with all the sins of the past would be revealed. Not only would Pearl and I be disgraced, but the Tates would be devastated. The risks were enormous. I was sure Paul understood them as well as I did, but he was determined to remain tied to me, even in this bizarre fashion.
