All That Glitters

'We must hold on to what we now have. I love you,' he said, and kissed me softly on the lips. He lowered his head to my bosom and I held him against me for a long moment before he rose, took a deep breath, and smiled. 'I'll send Sally around and then tell Mrs. Ferrier to bring Pearl in later, okay?'

'Yes, Beau. Whatever you say. I can't think for myself anymore.'

'That's all right. I’ll think for the two of us.' He threw me a kiss and left.

I gazed out the window. The sky was overcast, but the clouds looked light and thin. There would be hazy sunshine and the day would be hot and muggy. After breakfast, I would take a bath and get back on my feet. The prospect of attending Paul's funeral seemed over-whelming to me now. I couldn't imagine mustering the strength, but as it turned out, that was to be the least of my problems.

Late in the morning, after I had had some breakfast and taken my bath, I brushed out my hair and dressed myself. Mrs. Ferrier brought Pearl in to watch and I let her play with my brushes and combs. She sat beside me, mimicking my every move. Her hair had grown down to her shoulders and it was turning a brighter, richer golden shade every day. Her blue eyes were full of curiosity. As soon as she learned what one thing was, she was asking about another, touching something else. Her bountiful energy and excitement brought some joy and relief to my aching heart. How lucky I was to have her, I thought. I was determined to devote myself to her, to make certain that her life was smoother, happier, and fuller than mine. I would protect her, advise her, guide her, so she would avoid the pitfalls and treacherous turns I had taken. It was in our children, I realized, that our hope and purpose lay. They were the promise and the only real antidote for grief.

Beau called to say he would be home shortly. Mrs. Ferrier took Pearl out to play in the garden, and I decided to go down so that Beau and I could have lunch on the patio when he returned. I had just rounded the base of the stairway when the phones rang. Aubrey announced it was Toby Tate and I hurried to a receiver.

'Toby,' I cried. 'I'm sorry we left so quickly, but—'

'No one was concerned here about that,' she said coldly. 'I'm certainly not calling to complain about your behavior. Frankly, I can't imagine any of us caring.' The hard, formal tone in her voice set my heart racing. 'In fact, Mother forced me to call to tell you she would rather you don't attend Paul's funeral.'

'Not attend? But—'

'We're sending a car with a nanny we're hiring to pick up Pearl and bring her home,' she added firmly.

'What?'

'Mother says Paul and Ruby's daughter belongs with her Grandpere and Grandmere and not with her self- centered aunt, so your obligations, your promises, are all over. You can go back to your life of pleasure and not worry. Those were Mother's exact words. Please have Pearl ready by three o'clock.'

My throat wouldn't open to let me form any words. I couldn't swallow. My heart felt as if it had slid down into my stomach and a wave of heat rose from the base of my spine to the base of my head, where it circled around my neck like the long, thin fingers of a witch, choking me.

'Do you understand?' Toby demanded.

'You . . .'

'Yes?'

'Can't . . . take. . . Pearl,' I said. I fought to open my lungs and suck in some air. 'Your mother knows you can't.'

'What sort of nonsense is this? Of course we can. Don't you think a Grandmere has more claim to a grandchild than an aunt?'

'No!' I shouted. 'I won't let you take Pearl.'

'I don't see where you have much to say about it, Gisselle. I hope you won't add any unpleasantness and ugliness to our tragedy right now. If there is anyone left out there who doesn't despise you, he or she will soon do just that.'

'Your mother knows she can't do this. She knows. Tell her. Tell her!' I screamed.

'Well, tell her what you said, but the car will be there at three o'clock. Good-bye,' Toby snapped and the phone went dead.

'No!' I screamed into the receiver anyway. I quickly hung up and then lifted the receiver to dial Beau.

'I'm coming right home,' he said after I gasped and poured out what Toby had told me Gladys Tate demanded.

'This is what she meant by my suffering twice as much as Paul, Beau. This is her way of getting vengeance.'

'Stay calm. I’ll be right there,' he said.

I hung up, but I couldn't stay calm. I went into the study and paced back and forth, my mind reeling with the possibilities. It seemed hours before Beau finally arrived, even though it was only a few minutes. He came rushing into the study to embrace me and sit me down. I couldn't stop trembling. My teeth were actually chattering.

'It's going to be all right,' he assured me. 'She's bluffing. She's just trying to upset you because she is so upset right now. She'll realize what she's doing and she'll stop it.'

'But, Beau . . . everyone thinks I'm Gisselle. They buried me!'

'It'll be fine,' he said, but not with as much confidence as before.

'We were born in the swamps in a shack. It's not like here in New Orleans in a hospital where babies' footprints are taken so they can be easily identified later. Paul was my husband and he told the world I was sick and dying. He attended my funeral and killed himself, whether purposely or accidentally, because of my death,' I rattled, each realization like another nail in the coffin of truth. I seized Beau's hands in mine and fixed my eyes on his.

'You yourself said that I've done such a good job of pretending to be Gisselle, everyone thinks I am. Even your parents!'