'You seem to have grown years older in just a few days, Pearl. I sense a greater maturity in you. It's as if you have leaped over time.' He sat back and stared at me a moment. 'This Jack Clovis, he was a great help?'
'Yes,' I said.
'You've become very fond of him?'
'Yes,' I admitted. 'And in a mature way,' I added.
Daddy nodded. He looked very sad again for a moment and then sighed. 'It's not easy to see your little girl become a woman. Goodness knows, no one knows the dangers that befall young people better than we now know them, but there's a wall of innocence around a young girl. Her pains and disappointments are all small compared to what she can endure later: a boy she likes doesn't ask her to the prom, her hair isn't as soft or as stylish as she would like, she has a pimple on her chin.
'I bet you've forgotten the time when you were in third grade and some boy said your head was far too big for the rest of you. You came running home crying that day, and Mommy was out visiting an art gallery where one of her exhibitions was being staged. I was in the office, and you came to my door in tears. I had to run a tape measure around your head and then work out the proportions to prove you weren't a freak. How easy it was to drive the demons away from you then. How hard it becomes now.'
'Why must there be any demons, Daddy?'
'It just seems there always are,' he said. 'But I suppose if you find the right man he will have the weapons with which to protect you. I hope you will find a man who can do better for the woman he loves than I have.'
'Stop it, Daddy!' I ordered.
'Okay, okay,' he said, raising his hands. 'I'll be the man you think I am.' He straightened up. 'You're right. There isn't any time for self-pity.' He bit into his sandwich. 'Tell me more about this Jack Clovis.'
I didn't mind. I could have talked about Jack for hours. Daddy listened and nodded as we finished our lunch. He enjoyed teasing me about Jack, but I was so sad about leaving him that I welcomed even Daddy's joking.
Mommy was sitting right where we left her, holding Pierre's hand and staring at his quiet face. I had brought her a cold drink, and she sipped it through a straw, but she insisted she wasn't hungry.
Dr. Lasky arrived and examined Pierre. Then he met with us outside. 'Physically, he's slipping,' he said bluntly. 'His kidneys remain shut down; his blood pressure is too low. Despite his youth, I am worried about pneumonia. I am sorry, monsieur,' he said directing himself to Daddy because Mommy stood with her head bowed while he spoke. 'I wish I could give you a better report.'
Daddy thanked him, and then we all sat down in the waiting room. Mommy laid her head on Daddy's shoulder. No one spoke for the longest time. Our thoughts and prayers were with Pierre. Looking through the windows toward the northwest, I saw that the layer of thick gray clouds was beginning to break apart. I thought to myself that Jack was gazing up at blue sky now, and I wondered how often he had thought about me since Mommy and I had left.
A short time later Dr. LeFevre arrived and Daddy introduced her to Mommy. I sensed her disapproval and anger when she spoke to Mommy. Her tone was coldly correct and firm, but Mommy didn't get upset with her.
'Of course, it would have been much more to Pierre's advantage had you been here sooner, Madame Andreas,' she pointed out sharply, 'but we must make the best of your presence now. I have spoken with Dr. Lasky and he agrees. We will move Pierre to a private room so you can spend longer periods of time with him uninterrupted. Of course you will need a private nurse around the clock,' she told Daddy. 'If you like, I will arrange for that.'
'Please do, Doctor. What do you think of his chances?' Daddy asked and reached for Mommy's hand.
Dr. LeFevre thought a moment. She was careful when she spoke. 'As I explained, each time your son fell back into a comatose state, he fell deeper and deeper and took longer and longer to emerge, and each time he regained consciousness, it was for a shorter period. Little by little, he's drifting away, almost like someone drowning, coming up occasional-ly for air, and sinking under again.' She couldn't have chosen a more horrible comparison for my mother and me.
Mommy's face contorted. She groaned, and then her eyes rolled back in her head. I cried out as Daddy struggled to keep her standing despite his being on crutches. Dr. LeFevre helped us get Mommy to the sofa. I ran for a cup of cold water, and she was revived.
'I'm sorry,' she said after swallowing some water.
'It's all right, madame,' Dr. LeFevre said, with more compassion now. 'Such news comes like a punch in the stomach, I know.'
Mommy gazed at her with an expression that said, 'You don't know. You couldn't even imagine.'
'If you're all right, I'll see to the arrangements for moving Pierre,' Dr. LeFevre said.
'Thank you,' Daddy told her, and she left us. The three of us sat there, Daddy and I with our arms around Mammy.
'It's as if the snake had bitten both of the boys,' she muttered. 'As if the poison had traveled through Jean into Pierre. It's how they always were, remember, Beau? Once one got sick, the other followed soon after.'
'Pierre is going to get better, Mommy,' I insisted.
She turned to me with wet eyes, smiling at me as if I were so innocent and foolish. 'He doesn't want to get better, Pearl. That's the problem now,' she said.
'Then we have to make him want to,' I insisted. 'I will not let him drown.'
I got up and ran from the lounge, my own tears flying from my cheeks, my heart pounding. I charged out into the corridor, not thinking about where I was headed, and just marched quickly past the rooms, past patients in wheelchairs, past nurses and doctors. I stopped when I realized I had walked to the linen closet. The door opened and Sophie emerged. Her eyes widened with happiness when she saw me.
'Pearl! How you been?
'Sophie. Oh, Sophie,' I said, and the dam holding back my tears broke.
