home for dinner when he was in the city. Whenever he came to our house, he always brought the twins and me something special from one of his European tours. I had dolls and music boxes from France and Holland.
'Well, Mommy,' I said after Aubrey came to tell me Claude had arrived to take me to the graduation exercises, 'Here I go.' I followed that with a tiny whimper.
'Stop worrying,' she said and hugged me. As I started out, she cried, 'Wait.'
I turned and saw her sit on the vanity table chair and bend over to untie her good luck dime from her ankle.
'I was going to give this to you before you left for college at the end of the summer, but I want you to have it now, Pearl.'
'Oh, no, Mommy. That's your good luck. I can't take that.'
'Of course you can. I can pass it on to you.'
'But then you won't have it,' I warned.
'It's time for you to have it, Pearl. Please take it,' she pleaded. 'It will mean a great deal to me.'
'I know how you feel about this special dime, Mommy,' I said shaking my head but moving forward to take it.
'Sit down and I'll fasten it around your ankle,' she told me. I did so. 'There,' she said, patting my knee. 'I know you think it's silly, but whatever magic it has had for me it will have for you, too.'
'I don't think it's silly, Mommy, but what about you? You won't be wearing it anymore.'
'I've had more magic than anyone deserves. Look at the wonderful family I have and the success I've had in my art. Now I live to see you and the boys enjoy your opportunities.'
'Thank you, Mommy.'
'But don't tell your father just yet,' she warned throwing a glance at the doorway. 'He thinks I get too carried away with the old beliefs, and he'll only bawl me out for imposing them on you.'
Mommy and I never kept serious secrets from Daddy, but there were a few things we didn't tell him. 'We can tell him afterward,' she added.
'Okay, Mommy.' We hugged again and I was off. Claude was waiting outside by his car, pacing impatiently.
'Hi,' I called and hurried down the steps. He stepped forward to kiss me. Lately he was shoving his tongue into my mouth every time. This time he not only did that but held me so close for so long that I had to pull free.
'Please, Claude. We're right in front of my house!' He shrugged, brushing off the reprimand as if it were a mosquito on his shoulder.
'Well, the day has arrived. Our release from prison,' he declared.
'Is that what you thought school was, Claude?'
'Hey, we won't have adults looking over our shoulders as much from now on. To me, that's a release, and tonight'—he smiled—'is our time to howl, right?' He tried to kiss me again.
'I guess so,' I said, stepping toward the car and away from him. Claude's exuberance frightened me a little. He was like a young man ready to march through locked doors.
'Don't look so sad,' he said. He opened the car door, and I slipped in quickly. 'Only a few others will be at Lester's tonight,' he told me after getting in beside me. 'No deadbeats. And we might have a little more than booze,' he added and winked.
'More than booze? What do you mean?'
'You know.' He winked again.
'I know what I don't want to see you do, and you know what I won't do,' I added firmly. We had had this discussion before. Claude stopped smiling.
'Ease up. You only graduate from high school once,' he said.
I pressed my lips together and swallowed back the words that would surely cause an argument. For now I had more important things on my mind--namely, my speech.
There was so much excitement at the school when we arrived. I joined Catherine and some of our friends in the girls' room for a last minute put-together. Girls were borrowing lipstick, spraying on cologne, dabbing their cheeks with makeup, and many were smoking. Diane offered me a cigarette, and I refused, as usual.
'Right. The little doctor doesn't want to poison her lungs,' she quipped, and the other girls laughed.
'That's true, Diane. The fact is, just standing in here and breathing the secondhand smoke is dangerous. That's already been proven.'
The girls around me looked glum for a moment.
'That's so stupid. What do you think, you're going to live forever?' Diane retorted. Her friends smiled.
'No, but I know what it's like to get lung cancer. It isn't pleasant,' I said sharply.
'Miss Goody Two-shoes. Just listen to her. What a drag. I hope your speech isn't depressing. This is supposed to be a happy occasion.' Everyone was looking at me.
'It's not depressing,' I said defensively. 'Excuse me a moment,' I said. 'I've got to use the bathroom.'
Laughter followed me into the stall. I heard them suddenly quiet down and start filing out. When I emerged, there was no one left. Confused, but happy that I didn't have to argue anymore, I left too. It wasn't until I had slipped my graduation gown on and put on my cap that I realized I must have left my speech in the bathroom. In a
