Tarnished Gold

'Never look out the window?'

'Don't even peek. Someone might see the shade moving and I would have to explain it. If that happens, I won't bother. I'll just have you tossed out on your ear,' she threatened. Then she smiled coldly, the right corner of her mouth cutting into her cheek. 'I could simply tell people we were keeping you here as a favor to your parents, but you misbehaved. Anything I say will be believed faster than anything your father says,' she added confidently.

Despite what Octavious had done to me, I couldn't imagine why he would have married such a coldhearted woman. Her eyes had the glint of polished stone and her mouth looked thin and drawn with a pencil. I half expected to discover that her alabaster face and body had no veins carrying blood around, and instead of a heart in that bosom, there was a jar filled with angry honey bees.

'Besides, you should be grateful I have provided you with these safe, comfortable quarters during your period of disgrace,' she said.

Safe, comfortable quarters? I was going to sleep, eat, and go to the bathroom in a room not much bigger than some people's closets, and in this mammoth house that had a dozen grand rooms. I would be shut away, forbidden to see the sun or feel the breeze on my face, and permitted to look out only when the sun went down, permitted to emerge like a bat.

'Now,' she continued, folding her arms across her chest, 'as to the rules.'

'Rules?'

'Of course, rules. Everything must be spelled out and followed to the T.

'First and foremost, you are never to leave this room without my permission. As I said, I will come by and let you know when it is clear for you to go down to empty the chamber pot and wash yourself.

'Second, don't even wear those moccasins up here. Walk barefoot and walk as little as you can so that you create as little noise as you can. If anyone hears any scuffling about, I will tell them it's field mice, but we obviously can't have any clanging or banging. No singing, no music, and when you talk to yourself, as I imagine you will, keep your voice down to a whisper. All this must be true especially in the morning when my maids are cleaning the upstairs area. Is that clear?'

'Oui, madame,' I said.

'Good. Third, food. I will try to be up here twice a day, but it might just be once a day occasionally. You will notice a gallon jug of water on the other side of the bed. Don't waste it. When you go down to the bathroom, you can refill the jug, but remember, you won't be doing that but once a day. See to it that you have the proper things to eat so my baby is kept healthy. You'll have one fork, one spoon, one knife, one plate, one cup, and one glass because I will have to wash everything myself. Obviously we can't have the maids doing it.

'Fourth, there is no electricity up here. You'll use this kerosene lantern only when the sun goes down and keep it as low as possible and as far from the window as possible. In fact,' she said, stepping forward, 'I have made a mark on the floor here. Look,' she commanded, and pointed. I gazed down and saw a black streak over the plank floor. 'Don't bring the lantern across this line at any time, understand?'

'Oui, madame,' I said, shaking my head, amazed at how well she had thought out every detail.

'You can laugh to yourself all you want,' she snapped, 'but I took great pains to plan this out today, and it's for your benefit as much as it is for anyone else's. I don't know if you truly appreciate that.'

'Of course I do, madame.'

'Umm,' she said, nodding skeptically. 'We'll see.

'Fifth, amusements. There are some books in the closet. You're welcome to play with the games, of course. I understand you weave and embroider, so I will bring some of that up to you. There can be no radio, no Victrola, for obvious reasons.

'Last, every Thursday night, my maids and my butler have the night off and leave The Shadows. I will come up to fetch you and you can come down to stretch your legs and eat dinner in the dining room. You can, if you wish, walk about in the rear of the house. I do have some field workers living nearby, but I'm not worried if they see you occasionally during the first few months when you won't show as much. Toward the second half of the pregnancy, however, you will not be permitted to go outside, even at night. Understood?'

I nodded.

'Good. Do you have any questions?'

I gazed around. 'What if I need something during the day?'

'You'll have to wait until I can safely come up here,' she said.

'I don't like this any more than you do,' she continued. When I didn't reply, her eyes became glazed with fury.

'How do you think I feel housing the woman my husband made love to in the swamps, the woman who hosts his child, the child that should have been my child, in my body? What do you think it will be like for me sleeping beneath you and gazing up at the ceiling every night knowing you're here?'

'I'm sorry, madame, but this was your idea and—'

'I know it was my idea, you little fool, but that doesn't mean I have to like it because it was mine, does it? I was just smart enough to think of a way out for everyone.' She pulled her head back. 'Does your mother appreciate what I’m doing, too?'

'She understands,' I offered.

'Umm. She understands? Well, I don't, but I'm not a traiteur. I'm just a . . . an abused wife.' She sighed. 'I'm tired,' she said. 'This has been a terribly emotional and draining day for me. I will bring you something to eat late in the morning after the maids have served us and cleaned up the kitchen and moved on to other parts of the house. If something prevents that, you'll just have to be patient, and don't, whatever you do, try to find out why I'm not here when I said I would be. Be smart enough to figure out that something serious is preventing it at the moment.