My own grunts and cries filled my ears, so I didn't hear the grunts and cries coming from Gladys Tate, but I caught a glimpse of Octavious holding her hand and continually trying to calm her. She had her legs up and was actually pushing down on her padding so that it slipped off her stomach and toward her legs.
'He's coming!' Mama announced, and we all knew it was a boy. The room was a cacophony of bedlam: Gladys's mad cries (louder than mine), Octavious trying to get her to stop, my own screams, Mama mumbling prayers and orders, and then that great sense of completion, that sweet feeling of emptiness followed by my baby's first cry.
His tiny voice stopped my screams and Gladys's as well. Mama held him up, the placenta still attached and dangling.
'He's big,' Mama exclaimed. 'Big enough to do well even though he's early.'
I tried to catch my breath, my eyes fixed on the wonder that had emerged from my body, the living thing that had dwelled inside my stomach.
Mama cut and tied the cord and then began to wash the baby, doing everything quickly and with an expertise born of years and years of experience, while I lay back trying to get my heart to slow, my breathing regular. When I gazed at Gladys Tate, I saw she was mesmerized by the sight of the baby. She didn't move. Octavious watched with interest and awe. Mama wrapped the baby in a blanket and held him for a moment.
'Perfect features,' she said.
'Give me my baby,' Gladys demanded. 'Give him to me now!' she screamed.
Mama gazed at her for a moment and then at me. I closed my eyes and put my hand over my face. I had wanted to hold him, at least for a few moments, but I was afraid to say anything. Mama brought the baby to Gladys, who cradled him quickly.
'Look at him, Octavious,' she said. 'He is perfect. Little Mr. Perfect. We're naming him Paul,' she added quickly, 'after my mother's younger brother who died a tragic death in the canals when he was only twelve. Right, Octavious?'
He looked at us. 'Yes,' he said.
Mama didn't respond. She returned her attention to me. 'How are you doing, honey?'
'I'm all right, Mama.' I turned to Gladys. 'Can I look at him? Please,' I asked.
She glared fire at me and turned the baby so I couldn't view his face. 'Of course not. I want you out of here immediately,' she said. She looked at Mama. 'Get her up and out of that bed and out of this house before anyone comes around.'
'I can't rush her like that,' Mama said. 'She needs to recuperate. She's still bleeding some.'
'Octavious, take them into another room, your room for all I care,' she said.
Mama turned on her, her back up, her eyes blazing back.
Gladys saw Mama was adamant. 'Very well,' she said. 'I'll go to Octavious's room to recuperate and put the baby in his nursery.'
'Exactly how to you plan to feed the infant?' Mama asked.
Gladys smiled coolly. 'We've thought of that. I've hired a wet nurse. Octavious will fetch her now. Won't you, Octavious?'
'Yes, dear,' he said obediently. He was unable to look at me and just gave me a passing glance.
'The child needs a lot of attention,' Mama said. 'Remember, he's premature.'
'We'll have a real doctor here in less than an hour. He's someone we can trust, but I still want you out of the house as soon as possible,' she said. She handed the baby to Octavious as she rose from her bed. Then she took the baby back quickly and started out of the bedroom, taking care, it seemed to me, to prevent me from getting a good view of him. She paused at the doorway.
'Once you're gone, I don't want to ever see you on this property again,' she told me.
'She'd rather step in quicksand,' Mama retorted. Gladys smiled, satisfied. 'Good,' she said, and walked out with my baby. I hadn't even seen him for a full minute and he was already gone from my life forever. My lips trembled and my heart ached.
Octavious remained behind a moment, stuttering some apology and some thanks. 'Take as long as you need,' he concluded, his eyes down. Then he hurried to follow his wife and new child.
I couldn't help but burst into tears. Mama put her arm around me and kissed my hair and forehead, trying to comfort and soothe me.
'Is he really perfect, Mama?'
'Yes, honey, he is. He's one of the prettiest babies I've seen, and you know I've seen a few in my time.'
'Will he be all right?'
'I think so. He was breathing strong on his own. It's good that they're having a doctor come around, though. Let me tend to your bleeding, Gabrielle, and then let you rest. Damn your father for hurrying away. I could use him now,' she muttered.
I lay back, exhausted, not only from the delivery, but from the emotional pain of having only a glimpse of baby Paul and then seeing him swept away from me instantly. Mama was right: This was a terrible feeling. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare that would haunt me forever.
It was very late by the time I felt strong enough to get out of the bed and stand on my own. Mama held me cautiously and had me walk around the room first. Then she sat me down and went to find Octavious. Since Daddy hadn't returned, she had to ask Octavious to drive us home.
The house was dim and quiet with all the servants gone. I paused outside the bedroom door on the upstairs
