'But what if you're eventually discovered here? What if . . .'
'I would risk everything I have a hundred times,' he pledged, 'because what I have means nothing without you.'
He kissed me and held me, and before we dressed to leave our secret place, we made love again. Afterward we returned to the pirogue and Pierre took me close to my shack home, but far enough away to leave me off unnoticed. We kissed and held each other.
'I will return as soon as I can,' he said. 'I'll get word to you and you will find me there, waiting. Let every day become an hour, every hour become a minute, so I can see you sooner,' he said, and kissed me again before pushing off. I watched him pole away, my apparition, my dream lover, until he was gone behind a bend.
It did feel more like an illusion than an actual event. I had to pinch myself to convince myself I was living this and not asleep on some rock conjuring the images. I walked on air, my heart full of contentment, but as I drew closer to the shack, I heard Mama and Daddy arguing about money. I paused by the window and listened.
She claimed he had gambled away what he had, and he swore it all went to expenses. He wanted her to give him what she had put aside, but she refused.
'I ain't helping you pay your new gambling debt, Jack. Gabrielle and I worked hard for the little we've put away, and we ain't watching it get washed down some ditch, along with everything else you own.'
'Ahh. You listen to me,' Daddy said in a deep, threatening voice.
Suddenly Mama wailed and then I heard her cry for Saint Medad. She followed that with a string of gibberish only she understood, and a moment later, Daddy came rushing out of the house, his hair wild, his face flushed, his eyes bulging with fear. He practically leaped into his truck and drove off.
When I entered the house, Mama was collapsed in her rocker, her head down so that her chin touched her chest.
'Mama!' I cried, going quickly to her side and kneeling to hold her hand.
She lifted her head slowly. 'I'm all right. I thought it was him returning,' she said with a cold smile. Then her face saddened. 'It's too bad I have to revert to mumbo-jumbo and superstition to keep him under control.
'I got our money buried all over this place, Gabrielle, in places he ain't never going to find. It's better he don't know how much we have stored or he'll take it and leave us high and dry while he goes off on another bender. What he ain't got, he can't lose,' she concluded.
'I'm sorry, Mama,' I said. 'I thought he was doing so much better.'
'He was, but he's not constant; he'll never be dependable, I'm afraid. But,' she said, rising, 'we've got to make do with what we have now, don't we? I'll see to our dinner.'
'Do you still love him, Mama?' I asked. I wondered how it would be possible, especially after being with Pierre and seeing how wonderful real love could be. Mama paused and thought a moment and then tweaked her lips into a tiny smile.
'Sometimes, when he's like he was, I feel the pitter-patter again. But,' she said with a deep sigh, 'it don't last.'
It wasn't until that moment, until I had traveled on my own cloud of ecstasy and seen what love and true passion could be, that I fully understood Mama's burden and felt truly sorry for her. I wished I could tell her, but I knew if I uttered a single word that suggested anything, she would forbid me to leave the house and find a way to drive Pierre from my life quickly. Some secrets, I thought, were necessary, but I believed, I hoped, that maybe there would be a time when they wouldn't be.
Of course, I was still very young and had no idea how dark the future could be. Only Mama knew that; only she had the vision. For the moment I didn't want her to look into my future. I'd rather be like one of my swamp turtles and pull in my head until the storms passed. The question was, did I have as hard a shell with which to protect myself?
Daddy surprised us by not getting drunk and staying away as he usually did whenever he got into a row with Mama. He returned home that night, sober, and he was up early the next morning.
'I got me an important job today,' he said when I came down to the kitchen. 'Those rich people from New Orleans you were asking about the other day sent word they were returning for another hunting trip.'
'Monsieur Dumas?' I said after a slight gasp.
'Yes, Daddy.' I tried to contain my excitement. Would Pierre appear with his father? Would he be back that much sooner? How would I act? Would I reveal our secret love? Would Mama sense something even if I did nothing?
Late one morning toward the end of the week, three big cars appeared and the men from New Orleans stepped out. My heart skipped a beat. I had been waiting with a feverish insanity since I had awoken, but I wasn't disappointed. Pierre was among them.
Earlier we had had a downpour, but now the feather-brushed storm clouds were far off on the horizon and the sun had already dried the leaves and the grass. Daddy greeted Monsieur Dumas excitedly, and Monsieur Dumas introduced Daddy to the other hunters. As they spoke, Pierre remained in the background, glancing my way from time to time with a tiny smile on his lips. Because of the hour at which they arrived, it was decided Mama and I would feed the men first. They sat at our outside tables and we brought our shrimp etouffee, duck and oyster gumbo, Mama's homemade bread, and wine. It was an exquisite torture for me to serve Pierre without revealing my true feelings for him. I tried not to look at him because I felt the eyes of all the men on me.
'Your daughter is quite pretty, monsieur,' Pierre's father remarked to Daddy. He grunted, looked at me as if just realizing I was there, and smiled. I felt a rush of color rise up my neck and into my face. I glanced quickly at Pierre and then looked down.
'She's going to be a great belle,' Daddy said between gulps of food.
