the night when the vision of becoming Beth had seemed so attractive. It must remain so.
Amid the rubble of excavation, Jana Li Hu sat on the porch of the garage-sized laboratory she had carried with her and surveyed the mess she had made. Frustration and anger bubbled in her mind. Here she was, cataloging the minute changes in the composition of the slurry that had boiled out of the vent nearby—a student's project!—when that damn Sealock was making scientific history. She cursed herself fornot making more detailed observations in the shuttlecraft. Now that they were back there were no hard data to analyze, only speculation, and that was not her forte by any means. She wondered if anyone believed what she had said about anticipating the discovery of the Artifacts. She had to admit, the evidence was certainly there, and if she hadn't been so rigorous she might have seen the truth. Damn them all! She was completely shut out now.
She could, of course, use violence. Right here on her belt was a mini-lance that would suffice. She pulled the elongated cylinder from its holster and hefted it slowly. A quick cut. She let the beam play along the pile of debris she had made, watching it disappear in a twinkle of mist. No, she just couldn't. Which left only the other plan. Her mind went numb with a fear which she could just barely hold in check. I would lose any chance of acceptance either way. If I get my way it will be a fluke. But is there any real difference between being humored and being liked? In the long run, most probably. Oh, what do I want, exactly? I wish I fucking knew! I guess I'll have to be content with what I can get. At least I'll get the pleasure of scaring them all to death. Who's that?
Well above the horizon, riding on the Hyades, the horns of Taurus, and occulting Aldebaran briefly, a tiny man figure decorated the Iris-and-sunless western sky. Even in the full glare of the sun-star behind her it was difficult to make out well. Finally a fold of the suit caught the light and she could see it was red. Cornwell. What does he want? She activated the Shipnet Communications link with a thought.
'What are you doing out here, John? I'm surprised you're not, um, with Beth.' John's trajectory was bringing him down, feet first. 'We can't do that all the time. I heard your lance's static and came to investigate. Thought it might be a discharge from the ice or something.'
'That, John, is very unlikely at this point. How's Brendan doing with his scanner?' John came down surefooted, barely skidding to a two-point landing. Through the bubble of his helmet she saw a strange, uncharacteristic look on his face. 'Nothing new. Tem and Sealock have shut themselves into his room and are doing whatever it is programmers do. I imagine they'll approach it a bit more gingerly this time. How are you?'
She was torn between foreshadowing her future action and not letting him see that she was unhappy.
'Not good. I want to be in on all this.'
'We all do, I guess. But the present setup is the only one possible. Brendan is the only one qualified . .
.'
'You could use your authority. There's absolutely no reason why we're not even getting to look at the stuff that's coming in. If he's closed off the normal Shipnet link, we won't find out what's going on until it's all over.'
'I think that would be useless.' There was a long pause. 'Even if I did have authority.' Another pause.
'I wonder: whose land is this? I've never been out in this direction before.' He consulted his inertial reference readout. 'It belongs to Aksinia. Nice real estate.'
What cryptic remark could she make that would add weight to her disappearance? 'Leave me alone, will you? I prefer work to small talk.'
John was surprised. 'Uh, sure. Just trying to get back into being friendly with you. It's been a long time—'
That was it! If she made him believe she was suffering from jealousy, all the weight of his vanity would convince him of the severity of her depression. 'You're damn right it's been a long time! I loved you, and you dropped me like a hot rock the second Toussaint made a pass at you. You're a God damn bastard. Get out of here!'
'Love? You're telling me that was love? Why are you inventing—'
'You're so smug. You think you know me! Well, I can tell you, you have about as much understanding of me as you do of yourself. You're a prig, as well as an asshole. Yes, I loved you. You probably don't even know what that means. It doesn't mean being inventoried and turned inside out. I feel sorry for Beth, because I think she loves you too.'
John felt his eyes smarting, and he fought unsuccessfully to keep the tears from coming out. There was a hot pain under his Adam's apple. 'I ... I never . . .'
Jana had played her part well. Somewhere she wondered if it was at least partially true. With a burst of hydrogen she soared upward and away. John didn't attempt to follow.
Sealock and Krzakwa had called a meeting, a conclave of sorts, but not everyone had appeared. They trickled into the central crater room of the CM, awaiting the pronouncements of the two men. Demo, Vana, and Harmon Prynne came in together and sat on a called-up semicircular couch that was just large enough to accommodate their arrayed hips. They sat, flanks touching, knee against knee, and seemed to be a molded unit.
Ariane, Axie, and Beth came in separately but sat together, the isolated fragments of human normality. John came in alone and sat alone, seeming vastly subdued. Jana Li Hu did not show up at all. Finally Krzakwa stood up
