(For Brutus is an honorable man;
So are they all, all honorable men),
Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me—'
'Oh, good heavens, I can't stand
Dignity is a valuable quality, especially in a governess. But there are limits to the most highly trained endurance. I bounced out into the balcony—and there, on the terrace, smoking a cigar, was my lost stranger in the streets of Sandwich!
He recognized me, on his side, the instant I appeared. 'Oh, Lord!' he cried in tones of horror, and ran round the corner of the terrace as if my eyes had been mad bulls in close pursuit of him. By this time it is, I fear, useless for me to set myself up as a discreet person in emergencies. Another woman might have controlled herself. I burst into fits of laughter. Freddy and the girls joined me. For the time, it was plainly useless to pursue the business of education. I shut up Shakespeare, and allowed—no, let me tell the truth, encouraged—the children to talk about Mr. Sax.
They only seemed to know what Mr. Sax himself had told them. His father and mother and brothers and sisters had all died in course of time. He was the sixth and last of the children, and he had been christened 'Sextus' in consequence, which is Latin (here Freddy interposed) for sixth. Also christened 'Cyril' (here the girls recovered the lead) by his mother's request; 'Sextus' being such a hideous name. And which of his Christian names does he use? You wouldn't ask if you knew him! 'Sextus,' of course, because it is the ugliest. Sextus Sax? Not the romantic sort of name that one likes, when one is a woman. But I have no right to be particular. My own name (is it possible that I have not mentioned it in these pages yet?) is only Nancy Morris. Do not despise me—and let us return to Mr. Sax.
Is he married? The eldest girl thought not. She had heard mamma say to a lady, 'An old German family, my dear, and, in spite of his oddities, an excellent man; but so poor—barely enough to live on—and blurts out the truth, if people ask his opinion, as if he had twenty thousand a year!' 'Your mamma knows him well, of course?' 'I should think so, and so do we. He often comes here. They say he's not good company among grown-up people.
I opened the note, and read these lines:—
'I am so ashamed of myself, I daren't attempt to make my apologies personally. Will you accept my written excuses? Upon my honor, nobody told me when I got here yesterday that you were in the house. I heard the recitation, and—can you excuse my stupidity?—I thought it was a stage-struck housemaid amusing herself with the children. May I accompany you when you go out with the young ones for your daily walk? One word will do. Yes or no. Penitently yours—S. S.'
In my position, there was but one possible answer to this. Governesses must not make appointments with strange gentlemen—even when the children are present in the capacity of witnesses. I said, No. Am I claiming too much for my readiness to forgive injuries, when I add that I should have preferred saying Yes?
We had our early dinner, and then got ready to go out walking as usual. These pages contain a true confession. Let me own that I hoped Mr. Sax would understand my refusal, and ask Mrs. Fosdyke's leave to accompany us. Lingering a little as we went downstairs, I heard him in the hall—actually speaking to Mrs. Fosdyke! What was he saying? That darling boy, Freddy, got into a difficulty with one of his boot-laces exactly at the right moment. I could help him, and listen—and be sadly disappointed by the result. Mr. Sax was offended with me.
'You needn't introduce me to the new governess,' I heard him say. 'We have met on a former occasion, and I produced a disagreeable impression on her. I beg you will not speak of me to Miss Morris.'
Before Mrs. Fosdyke could say a word in reply, Master Freddy changed suddenly from a darling boy to a detestable imp. 'I say, Mr. Sax!' he called out, 'Miss Morris doesn't mind you a bit—she only laughs at you.'
The answer to this was the sudden closing of a door. Mr. Sax had taken refuge from me in one of the ground- floor rooms. I was so mortified, I could almost have cried.
Getting down into the hall, we found Mrs. Fosdyke with her garden hat on, and one of the two ladies who were staying in the house (the unmarried one) whispering to her at the door of the morning-room. The lady—Miss Melbury—looked at me with a certain appearance of curiosity which I was quite at a loss to understand, and suddenly turned away toward the further end of the hall.
'I will walk with you and the children,' Mrs. Fosdyke said to me. 'Freddy, you can ride your tricycle if you like.' She turned to the girls. 'My dears, it's cool under the trees. You may take your skipping-ropes.'
She had evidently something special to say to me; and she had adopted the necessary measures for keeping the children in front of us, well out of hearing. Freddy led the way on his horse on three wheels; the girls followed, skipping merrily. Mrs. Fosdyke opened the business by the most embarrassing remark that she could possibly have made under the circumstances.
'I find that you are acquainted with Mr. Sax,' she began; 'and I am surprised to hear that you dislike him.'
She smiled pleasantly, as if my supposed dislike of Mr. Sax rather amused her. What 'the ruling passion' may be among men, I cannot presume to consider. My own sex, however, I may claim to understand. The ruling passion among women is Conceit. My ridiculous notion of my own consequence was wounded in some way. I assumed a position of the loftiest indifference.
'Really, ma'am,' I said, 'I can't undertake to answer for any impression that Mr. Sax may have formed. We met by the merest accident. I know nothing about him.'
Mrs. Fosdyke eyed me slyly, and appeared to be more amused than ever.
'He is a very odd man,' she admitted, 'but I can tell you there is a fine nature under that strange surface of his. However,' she went on, 'I am forgetting that he forbids me to talk about him in your presence. When the opportunity offers, I shall take my own way of teaching you two to understand each other: you will both be grateful to me when I have succeeded. In the meantime, there is a third person who will be sadly disappointed to hear that you know nothing about Mr. Sax.'
'May I ask, ma'am, who the person is?'
'Can you keep a secret, Miss Morris? Of course you can! The person is Miss Melbury.'
(Miss Melbury was a dark woman. It cannot be because I am a fair woman myself—I hope I am above such narrow prejudices as that—but it is certainly true that I don't admire dark women.)
