“My name is Jane Fairfax,” she said. “I am a vampire.”
A grin appeared on Squish’s face. “A fellow bloodbeast,” he said happily.
“I wouldn’t call myself that. But I suppose you could.”
“Ya drink it. I dye ma cap in it. The person ends up dead one way or t’other,” said Squish.
“I don’t kill them,” Jane protested. “I just drink from them a little.”
Squish spat on the floor. “What good are ya then?” he asked.
Jane pointed at the painting. “I take it that’s Fiona,” she said.
Squish nodded.
“Then the stories are true,” said Jane. “About her being a witch.”
Squish snorted. “She weren’t nae witch,” he said. “Joost had second sight is all. Could see those of us from the other side, so to speak.”
He jumped down from the bed and walked over to where Jane stood. His pointed hat reached just above her knee. It was very red, and Jane wondered how recently it had been dyed. Squish looked up at the painting and sighed deeply. “I dae miss her,” he said. Then he turned his gaze to Jane. “I still da nae know what you’re doin’ here, though.”
“I was looking for the bathroom. I came in here by mistake.”
“No one comes in here by mistake. There’s a spell on this room. Only ones who find it are ones what get stuck in the enchantment, and them’s the ones whose heads I stave in.”
“Well, I certainly hope that won’t be the case,” said Jane. “But honestly, I don’t know why I’m here.”
Squish stared at her for a long time. “Said yer a vampire, did ya?”
She nodded.
“Nae a very good one, I don’t think.”
“Why do you say that?” Jane asked, wounded.
“The other ones that come through here, they knew just what they wanted.”
“Other ones,” said Jane. “What other ones?”
“The three,” said Squish. “Can nae recall their names. Very tiresome, they were.”
“Tedious,” Jane said.
“Whit?” asked Squish.
“They were tedious. The Tedious Three. At least, I’m guessing they were. Were they looking for Crispin’s Needle?”
The red cap brightened. “That was it!” he said. “Mibbie yer lookin’ for the same thing?”
“Actually, I am,” said Jane. “Did you give it to them?”
Squish shook his head. “Could nae give them what I do nae have,” he replied. “Naw idea what they were talkin’ aboot. Care to fill me in?”
Jane explained what the Needle did, or was supposed to do. When she was done Squish nodded. “Now I see,” he said. “Fiona, she knew a lot of strange folk. Vampires, some of ’em. Probably these three thought one of them may have given it to her or told her where ’twas.”
“But she never mentioned it to you?” Jane asked.
“Nae that I can recall,” said Squish. “And I ken recall a lot.”
Jane sighed. “Well then, I guess there’s nothing you can do for me either.”
“Who said I was goin’ to do anything for ye? Yer lucky I did nae bash yer head with a rock. I think that’s doin’ enough.”
“Yes, you would,” said Jane irritably. “But it seems to me that if there’s a spell on this room and only people who have second sight can find it, there should be some reason. Do you see what I mean?”
Squish rubbed his chin. “Ye may have a point. Almost makes me feel bad for bashin’ in the heads of so many what come here.”
“You didn’t bash the heads of the Tedious Three, did you?” Jane asked.
“That I did nae,” said Squish. He reached in his pocket. “Nicked this from one of them, though,” he said, pulling out a gold key about four inches long.
“What’s it for?” she asked.
“I’ve nae idea,” said Squish. “I joost like stealin’ things. Think it might be important?”
“I don’t know,” Jane said. “It looks like an ordinary old-fashioned door key. It could be to anything really.”
“Then ye might as well have it,” he said, holding it out to Jane.
“What will I do with it?”
“How am I supposed to know that? Yer the one goin’ on aboot there bein’ some reason ye came here, and I’ve got nothin’ to give ye save this key or a rock to yer head, so choose which it’ll be.”
“I choose the key,” Jane said, taking it from him and slipping it into her pocket.
“I thought ye might,” said the red cap, sounding disappointed.
Jane turned and put her hand on the doorknob. Then she looked at Squish, who was once again sitting on the bed, staring at the painting of Fiona.
“Thank you,” she said.
Squish looked at her and frowned. “Be gone with ye,” he said. “I’ve no time for foolishness.” He hesitated. “But mibbie if that key turns out to be somethin’, ye kin come back and tell me aboot it. If ye can find yer way, that is, and not get lost in a toilet.”
Jane smiled, but just a little. “I’ll do my best,” she said, and opened the door.
Chapter 14
Friday: Edinburgh
As the plane bounced around, first dropping and then rising as the winds carried it like a leaf, Jane fingered the key in her hand and wondered what it would be like to die in a crash. Would the plane drop out of the sky like a stone, or would it somehow glide down before eventually landing in the sea and coming apart? She considered asking Walter to explain to her once more the principles of flight. Walter, however, was too busy throwing up into an airsickness bag to answer any questions.
“First the ferry, now the plane,” he said as he rested his head against the back of the seat in front of him. “I hate traveling. I’m never leaving home again.”
The plane dipped precipitously. A collective groan went up from the passengers, and Walter added to the contents of the bag. Jane took the bag from her seat pocket and handed it to him. He took it without comment, rolling up the full one and placing it on the floor between his feet.
Just in case, Jane looked at the laminated safety card helpfully provided to each passenger. The nearest exit was a few rows ahead of her, and in the event of a water landing she was fairly confident that she could get to the door without too much bother.
She tucked the card back into the seat pocket, put her hand on Walter’s back, and went back to wondering what the key Squish had given her might be for. The fact was, she had absolutely no idea, and any guess she might make would be just that, a guess. But she supposed that should she ever come across the door or chest or gigantic egg to which the key fit, she would know to use it.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our descent into Edinburgh,” a pleasant woman’s voice came over the PA system, her calmness belying the shaking of the plane. “Please be sure your seatbelts are fastened securely and that all carry-on items are stored to prevent them from flying about.”
The plane’s nose dipped noticeably and Walter wailed. “We’re going to die, aren’t we?” he asked Jane, squeezing her hand.
“We’re fine,” Jane said. “Just keep breathing.”
