“I have terrible hours.”
“Ridiculous. Besides, it?s too early to leave.”
“You?ve got a husband, remember??
“I have a husband in Atlanta for the night,” she said. She looked up at me and smiled. There wasn?t a
hint of remorse on her face. She looked as innocent as a five-year-old.
“He may call.”
She snuggled up again.
“Uh-uh. Out of sight, out of mind. Besides, he trusts me.”
I didn?t feel like dealing with that. I didn?t feel like dealing with any of it. Guilt gnawed at my
stomach like an ulcer and it had nothing to do with Harry Raines. I kept lying to myself that it had
been inevitable. I shifted again arid reached for my clothes. She sat up, leaning naked against the
bulkhead, her tawny form outlined by the dying moon.
“More,” she whispered, and it was more of a demand than a plea.
A new fire ignited deep in my gut, but the old devils were creeping back: guilt, frustration, jealousy,
distrust.
I threw the Windbreaker over her.
“Give me a break,” I said, squeezing out a smile.
“You never asked for a break before,” she said, putting a hand as soft as chamois on my chest.
“I was in training then”
“Please come back,” she said as I started to dress.
“1 never know about later. I could be on my way to Alaska an hour from now.”
“No.”
I laughed. “No? What did you mean, no?”
“1 waited all these years for you to come back. You are not going to just up and leave, not again.”
She closed her eyes and put her head back against the side of the boat. “I went crazy inside when I
saw you at the restaurant yesterday and then at the track this morning,” she said. “It all came rushing
back at me. Like a tidal wave inside me.” She opened her eyes and looked at me. “It happened, and it
wasn?t one of those things you question. Do you know what I mean?”
Instant replay: rampant fantasy from the past. For months after Chief had written his good-bye letter,
fantasies had infested my days. Uncontrollable, they were like panes of glass, separating me from
reality, the fantasies were impossible dreams that she would show up at my door in the middle of the
night to tell me she couldn?t live another instant without me; that I would find her waiting in the
corner of some restaurant. I looked for her everywhere I went, in supermarkets, in the windows of
