just cutting it off. Then I see this VC in his black pajamas and he?s got his head out just a little,
checking it out, and I sight him in and, ping! he goes down, just throws his hands up in the air and
goes over backward. Then another one comes running over and he?s shooting as he comes, only he?s
aiming about ten meters to my left and I drop him. Then I see the machine gun, which is in the dirt out
in front of the first hooch, and there?s two of them and they?re just cutting One Squad to shit, so I run
u through the bamboo and get in position and blitz them both, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow!
Next thing I know, the lieutenant and the rest of the squad are running past me and the One Squad
breaks loose and then it?s all over. Five minutes, maybe. I was thinking, Jesus, I did more in the last
five minutes than I ever did in my whole life. I mean, it was such a high. And to still be in one piece!
There wasn?t anybody left. Women, kids, old people, VC. The entire village was blitzed. Nobody
seemed to pay any attention to that; it was just business as usual. Then they brought in a
flamethrower and scorched the whole place. I didn?t look at the civilians, I just looked the other way.
I figure, this is the way it?s done, but it doesn?t change how I feel about it.
Otherwise we were all feeling pretty good because none of our guys was hurt.
“You okay?” the lieutenant says after he makes the body count, and I says, “Yeah, I feel good.” And I
did.
“You looked okay in there,” he says.
I wasn?t a virgin anymore and I was still alive. Jesus, I felt good.
It took me a long time to get used to it, that I had killed those people and it was okay, that it was what
they expected me to do. For a while I kept dreaming they would come at night and arrest me.
The 38th day: Doc Ziegler doesn?t even believe in all this. He?s a medic, doesn?t carry any
weapons. He says he would have gone to Canada but his old man had a bad heart and Doc figured it
would kill him if Doc jumped the border. So he said, “Fuck it!” when he got his notice. “I can put up
with anything for a year,” he says. Among other things, Doc supplies the speed, He doesn?t do it
himself, says he doesn?t need it since he doesn?t carry a weapon. But he smokes pot a lot. Morning,
noon, and night. Hell, I don?t think I?ve ever seen Doc unstoned. But when there?s trouble he can
