‘Internal Affairs,’ Friscoe went on, ‘I told ‘em to stuff it. I got to deal with snitches every day. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna snitch on my own, see what I mean?’
Sharky nodded. There was a rumour you could not even be interviewed for the IA unless you’d been born out of wedlock.
‘Anyways, I personally don’t give a rat’s ass what the public does,’ Friscoe growled. ‘Some guy wants to stick his dick in a coffee grinder, who am I to argue, okay? It’s his dick. Personally I got better things to do. I could care less some shirt salesman from Dubuque comes inta town, wants to pay out fifty, a hundred bucks to get laid, get a little head, shit, why not? Live and let live, I say, but it’s where they put you. The Bat, the commissioner, the chief, whoever puts you where you are. Like I say, I got almost seventeen in, so I don’t growl too loud. Mainly we got misdemeanours down here. Hooking. Pandering. Freak show. It takes a lotta time, effort, to make a misdemeanour case, okay? I mean, nobody’s sucker enough if he pays some chippie fifty to gobble his pork, he’s gonna show up in court and testify against her. He’s gonna head for the hills first.’
‘So what’s the answer?’ Sharky asked.
‘So we make a case against somebody for trickin’ it’s gotta be the cop makin’ it and that means he had to make a deal and money has to change hands. What we really look for is felony. Extortion. A and B. Juvenile crimes. The worst. But it’s rare. Mostly what we do, we answer complaints and do what we can to keep the streets clean. If we get a handle on something good, it’s gravy on the potatoes. You want some mud? It’s strong enough to play fullback for the Falcons.’
‘No thanks.’
‘Another thing. We got that fuckin’ DA Hanson comin’ up for re-election so he’s got all the Baptists, the bluenoses, Billy Grahamers tired up right now. . . . The schmuck hasn’t done anything but indict homos and jack-off artists for two years, but he’s makin’ a lot of noise right now so he’ll look good to the PTA, that kinda shit. To listen to him, see, you’d think you can’t take a breath of fresh air downtown without gettin’ the clap.’
Sharky broke up again, but Friscoe went right on, ignoring the laughter.
‘Anyways Hanson is keepin’ me busy just on routine, shakin’ up the ladies on the street, bustin’ the massage parlours, movie pits, hourly hotels. What I want, see, I want to zero you in on this thing we got a handle on, let you loose, see what you can do. 1 give you Arch — that’s Livingston — and Papa and anybody you can dog-rob outa some other department. That’s your whole army.’
Sharky nodded. ‘I’ve heard stories about both of them.’
‘Whaddya hear, good or bad?’ Friscoe asked.
‘Both. Depends on who you listen to. The guys I listen to say they’re in sudden death playoff with the best there is.’
Friscoe beamed, obviously pleased. ‘Livingston there, he’s got thirteen in. Best goddamn street cop in the House. He’s cautious but lotsa smarts upstairs, right? College guy like you. Papadopolis, a hell of a cop. Papa doesn’t give a shit. He’ll stake out the governor’s toilet you tell him to. Been shot three times; don’t even remember where the scars are. And that’s your machine. Oh yeah, one other thing. You gotta understand the politics of the House, see. All of us down here, in the cesspool here, we either don’t know the politics, see, or didn’t give a shit. Or maybe what it was, we were too hard-headed. That’s what happens, you don’t suck ass, play by the book, all that shit, you end up down here in the fuckin’ leper colony. I been hearin’ about you, the last two, three years. The word’s been around the department head’s on you, okay? Some say you’re a hardhead. Others say you’re dynamite on the Street. Thing is, r give you maybe three, four years, you’ll walk.’
‘To where? I’ll have eight years in. Where the hell do you go after sinking that much time in the cops?’
‘I dunno, but y’see, Sharky, you’re too goddamn contrary to suck up to the system and too smart to live in it. I heard this morning, from this buddy of mine in IA, he calls me before I got a cup of coffee in mc, tells me The Bat’s getting ready to flop you out of detectives and give you a six-and-six. Even upstairs they figure you got a raw deal. I mean, the way I look at it, what do they want? Maybe you should’ve given the creep a ticket to Detroit and cab fare to the fuckin’ airport, right? So I go up to see Jaspers and I tell him I gotta have some help and could I have you since I heard he was bustin’ you outa the narcs. The Bat thinks it over a minute or two and finally says, “Okay, but tell him to keep out of my hair.” And then he says something real strange. He says, “Tell him to keep his shoes on in my office.” What the fuck was that all about?’
‘My foot itched.’
‘And you took off your shoe and scratched it, that it?’
‘Right.’
‘Bad form. Very bad form. You gotta understand about The Brat, about them all. Shit, look, it’s a lotta fuckin’ crap protocol up there, see? That’s what I’m talkin’ about. You’re a third- or second-grade detective, you’re a maggot to them. Takin’ off’ your shoe, that makes sense to you, but to a creep like The Bat, it’s death warmed over. That’s what I mean, I see you walkin’ a coupla years from now. You gotta roll along and take the punches, let the big shots grab the big collars, keep your face off the front page, don’t make waves. That kind of thing. Otherwise what happens, you end up down here. Me, I should give a shit. Two years I make captain, probably get assistant in charge of Criminal Investigation, some nice job to go out on. Another two years I take my retirement and fuck it. But you, you’re gonna kick ass a lot and get kicked a lot. It’s what always happens you got a guy who’s smart, savvy, don’t mind taking a chance or two now and then.’
‘You sure paint a rosy picture.’
‘Truth. I deal in truth. What comes from bein’ a Boy Scout my younger years. Point is, see, it takes me a long time to say something, but I’m glad to have you down here, okay?’
‘Thanks, lieutenant.’
‘It goes for Arch there and Papa. Arch, he was the first black cop on the force. And he didn’t suck ass, didn’t eat any shit. The ones that followed him, they, y’know, stuck their dick in the air see which the way wind’s blowin’, kissed the right asses, moved on up there. Fuckin’ Uncle Tom shit, but Arch, he didn’t bow down nowhere along the line. So here he is, best fuckin’ street cop on the force bustin’ hookers and library freaks.’
‘What happened to Papa?’
‘Papa was in Bunco workin’ under a shitass name of Shaushauser, a fuckin’ Nazi. He’s dead now. Rest his soul, all that shit, but he had it comin’. Anyway Papa brought down two, three big scams and this Shaushauser he takes the collars and even ends up with a citation. One day Papa has enough. He’s in the locker room with Shaushauser and suddenly he starts playing handball, only Shaushauser’s the ball. Bim, barn, bim, he takes the lieutenant off the
