on the palm of his bent arm and smiled at her. “Turn off the light. It’s the middle of the night and I want to hold you.”
Trisha gawked at him. “You leave me high and dry and now you want to hold me?
You dare climb into bed with me? Are you for real?”
“Yes.”
“Have you lost your mind? I haven’t. Get out!”
“Come here, sweet thing.”
Trisha tried to scramble out of bed but Slade gently grabbed her, hauling her flat onto her back on the mattress. He pinned her under his big, warm body, careful not to hurt her when he did it. Two things became instantly clear to Trisha. One, Slade was totally nude. And two, he was aroused since she could feel the thick, hot erection bump against her inner thigh. They were skin to skin where her nightshirt had ridden up. She sucked in a breath, beyond stunned that he’d dare pull that kind of stunt.
“I missed you.” His beautiful gaze studied hers and his voice came out gruff.
“I hope you have a really loud voice because I sent them away. I wanted us to be alone. This time I didn’t want to have to put my palm over your lips.”
Memory was instant of the last time he’d done that to keep her quiet while he fucked her. Her body instantly responded when her belly quivered and she hated it, wanting to hate him. She glared into his eyes.
“You left me and now you want me back? Is that what you’re saying? For how long this time? Do I wake in the morning and what? Not see you again for weeks? Maybe months? No. Get off me, Slade.”
He shifted his weight to make certain he didn’t crush her stomach and cupped Trisha’s face. “I was scared. You frighten the hell out of me and that’s the truth.”
“Scared?” She took a deep breath, trying to calm, and resisted the urge to smack him. She was tempted. “So you were afraid? Of what? You’re a foot taller than I am and outweigh me by a good hundred pounds or so. What did you have to be afraid of?”
“Being with me puts you in more danger. That was the main reason I stayed away from you. You nearly died in the woods, could have died when the SUV crashed, and I didn’t want to be the cause of more assholes targeting you.”
She just stared at him, trying to take in his words. It didn’t matter though because he’d hurt her. She wasn’t about to allow him to do it again.
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“It was more than that though. I’ve had a lot of time to think. I never dared to allow myself to get attached to anything or anyone. I saw too many die and too much pain. I never owned anything, could never count on anyone being there in the next moment, or even the next day. They used it against me if those assholes who kept me prisoner realized I cared about another person at the testing facility. Hell, they used it against all of us to try to control us. I know you can’t really understand what a lifetime of that does to a person but I can tell you that it messed me up bad. I’m screwed up. I was afraid of what I wanted from you and that you might not return those strong emotions. I wanted to give you time but I’m the one who needed it. I thought if I walked away that I would stop thinking about you and that you would be safer without me. I said you’d be better off if I wasn’t a part of your life. That’s not what happened.”
His honesty surprised her and some of her anger seeped away. She didn’t know how to respond but her heart melted a little at the sincere look he gave her, the obvious pain sounding in his voice, and she had to concede he’d had a really screwed-up past.
He admitted that readily, acknowledged he had flaws, and it softened her resolve to remain angry.
“You promised you’d come to me but you didn’t. You hurt me, Slade. You wouldn’t even talk to me. How do you expect me to stop being angry and hurt?”
“I planned to come to you straight after I returned to Homeland but I had to go to a meeting first. Justice demanded it. I heard them saying how and why you’d been targeted by humans. I started to think about how I’d feel if you were killed because we were together. I freaked out, Doc.”
“Stop calling me that. My name is Trisha. Use it.”
His fingers brushed her cheek. “And I told you that I’ll only call you Trisha when I’m inside you.” His face lowered. “And I want inside you in the worst way. I want to taste you and feel you. There’s so much we’ve never had the opportunity to do. I want you to moan my name and I want hear you scream in pleasure. I need to show you how much you mean to me and how much I’ve missed you. Please let me.”
“Please, Slade.” She locked her gaze with his. “Don’t do this to me. You hurt me when you promised you’d come back for me but you didn’t. I had to kill two men and I had faith that you’d come help me but you didn’t. Two other men had to save me yet I still had hope that you’d show up. I needed you. I was worried sick until they told me you’d been found alive. I waited for you to come to me when they said you had arrived back at Homeland but you blew me off.”
“I did come back to you when you fired at those assholes. I heard the shots but I realized Flame and Smiley reached you before I could. I wanted to save you but you didn’t need me.” He paused. “I also didn’t wish you to see me the way I was at the time. I’d killed a lot of men. I was afraid you’d see the blood, that it would make you rethink being with someone capable of that much violence, and that you wouldn’t believe that I’d never lay a finger on you to cause you pain. I’m not fully human and…”
He paused, a pained expression lining his handsome face. “It was for the best if you 159
