“Why. What else could we do? Coming back. That could only mean one thing. He found out. I don’t know how-we were careful about that. All those years. I knew how he’d react. He’d make it personal.”
“It was personal.”
“No. I was just another agent.”
“Who took his wife. And set him up for a murder charge. And got rid of him to cover your own ass. You ruined his life, Larry. What do you call personal?” Larry turned away. “Why did you have to kill him? He was never going to get out-you know that.”
“He didn’t have to get out. Once he knew, he could have told anybody. A journalist. The spooks at the embassy. He wasn’t safe if he knew.” He paused. “Given everything.”
“But he didn’t know, Larry. Not until the end. You had him killed for nothing.”
“What do you want me to say, Nick? I’m sorry? It’s a death wish, to want to defect. There’s only one way to do it. If he didn’t know about me, then he knew others. He was going to turn them. This isn’t school. What did you expect them to do?”
“Once you told them.”
“Yes, once I told them,” he said impatiently. “Of course I told them. You don’t wait. We’re all at risk when somebody defects. He had to be stopped before anything got out. It had to die with him.”
“It didn’t,” Nick said quietly. “He told me. That’s what led me to you. Names. Her, your new friend. You ought to change your pattern, Larry. You made it easy. It didn’t die with him.”
Larry crossed his legs and looked down at his trousers, picking at the fabric, seemingly at a loss. “Well, that creates a little situation, doesn’t it?”
“Yes. You’ll have to kill me too.”
“Does anyone know?” Larry said.
“Just me. Once I’m gone, you’re safe.”
“I didn’t mean that. I was thinking of you. Are you sure? What about that girl?”
“No,” Nick lied. “Just me. You’d be safe.”
“Don’t talk crazy. Kill you.” He turned to Nick, his eyes suddenly old and unguarded. “You’re all I care about. Don’t you know that?”
Nick felt a tremor, another shock to the system. Not a lie. His boy, the unexpected thing in his life, a knot too tangled to untie. Nick looked away.
“You should have been more careful in Prague then,” he said. “I almost didn’t make it. Or were you going to get me out of that one too?”
“But I didn’t know you were there,” Larry said, reaching over and putting his hand on Nick’s arm. “I didn’t know. You have to believe that. I would never involve you. Nobody said you were there.”
“Didn’t Brown tell you?”
“Brown?”
“One of yours. Over in Justice-”
Larry held up his hand. “Don’t. I’m not supposed to know. It’s safer.”
“Then who did?”
“Hoover. He called. He had a report from one of his legats saying that Walter was planning to come back. Did I know anything about it? I suppose he thought I might, because of your mother. He never said anything about you. Why would I even think it? It was a damn fool thing for Walter to do, involving you. What was in his head? You don’t do that.”
“He trusted me.”
“He didn’t even know you. I was there, not him. No matter what you think of me now, that part’s still true. He wasn’t there. I was. I gave you everything.”
Nick looked at him, amazed. “No,” he said. “You took everything.”
A pause. Then Larry looked down at his watch. “Well, this isn’t getting us anywhere. And I have a meeting.” He looked up. “You’re being sentimental. Walter was a damn fool. But you’re all right, that’s the main thing.”
“You have a meeting?” Nick said. Was he just going to walk away?
“Yes, at the White House. Walk over with me.” He stood up.
“Do you really think I’m going to let you do that?”
Larry raised his eyebrows, genuinely puzzled.
Nick got up, facing him. “I know everything you’ve done. Your code name. What happened at the hotel. How you report. All of it.”
“You’ll make an awful mess trying to prove it.”
“I can do it. I have documents. He gave them to me.”
“Ah,” Larry said, looking away. “Then I guess I’m in your hands. You might say we’re in each other’s hands. Sort of a protection racket.”
“I’m not in your hands.”
“Well, a minute ago you said I was going to kill you. Which I’m not, of course. But you’re not going to do anything either. What did you have in mind? Turning me in? Your own father? I don’t think so. You know, Nick, you’re more like me than you think. We’re both pragmatists. We take the world as it comes. You just got thrown a curve, that’s all. But don’t do anything foolish. What’s in it for you? Patriotism? Not very pragmatic.”
“You bastard. Listen to me-”
“No, you listen to me. Calmly. We’re going to walk out of the square, and in a few minutes I’m going to sit down at a table and listen to fools and crooks tell me how they want to run the world. I’ve been listening to them for thirty years, different crooks, same fools. But I’m at the end. This is my last job. After that I won’t be a threat to anybody, least of all the country. That you think you care so much about. It’s over. Walter told you things he had no right to tell. You’re lucky, no one knows except me. So you come back playing detective, all fired up to change the world. Just like Walter used to be. But you’re not going to change it. Nobody does. What you might do is cause a scandal that would embarrass the Government-not a bad thing in itself, given who they are. But it’ll be a lot worse for us. It would kill your mother.”
“No, it wouldn’t.”
“And what about you? You know what it would mean. Do you want to go through all that again? I’m not doing anything more than what Walter did. You want to make him a saint, that’s your business, but don’t drag the rest of us down trying. Do you think anybody wants to know? That time is over. You think Nixon wants his old Red- baiting days brought up again? Mr Statesman? Hell, the only one who still cares at all is Hoover, and he’s been nuts for years. No one wants to know. Who would you be doing it for?”
“For me.”
“For you. Why? Settling someone else’s scores. And you’d still have to prove it. I don’t know what you think you have — is it really enough? I’d have to fight you, and I’m good, I’ve been doing it for a long time. I don’t want to fight you, Nick. You’re my son. You are, you know. We’d be killing each other. Like scorpions. We’d both go down.”
“You killed someone, Larry. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Listen, Nick, I’m going to a meeting now with men who are killing thousands, and people think they’re heroes. I didn’t make the world. At least I did it to protect myself — that’s the oldest instinct in the book. What’s their excuse? Come on, walk with me. I’ll be late.”
Numbly Nick fell in step at his side. “I don’t care about them, Larry. You killed him.”
“He killed himself, Nick. He killed himself the moment he decided to turn. Those are the rules. They’d do the same thing to me-or you. Be smart. Let’s all just retire in peace. Think of your mother. You don’t want to do this to her.”
“Look what you’ve done to her.”
“I hope I’ve made her happy.” He turned. “She can’t know about this.”
“What’s the difference? A wife can’t testify against her husband.” Nick stopped. “Is that why you married her?”
“Of course not. I love your mother. I always have.”
“You’re a liar, Larry. You don’t even know her.”
“I’m not going to argue with you, Nick. I did my best, that’s all I can say.”
“You even lie to yourself.”
