The Bitter Seed of Magic

‘Anyway,’ Finn carried on, ‘the way we heard it, Clíona imprisoned the Morrígan in retaliation for what he did to her daughter. It could be the Morrígan’s now trying to make amends by helping Ana through you, possibly because you’re the only one she can reach, or because of your connections with the suckers.’ He scowled again. ‘Or she could just have come to some arrangement with Clíona.’

‘So she’s got Tavish chained up just so she can talk to me?’ I asked, incredulous.

He laughed, but there wasn’t much mirth in the sound. ‘Don’t start feeling responsible, Gen. The Morrígan’s been after Tavish for years. If he’d so much as breathed in her direction she’d have nabbed him. It was him, with the help of the fossegrim, who killed the Old Donn and his pals.’

Tavish had killed the Morrígan’s son? Crap, he really was in trouble, and despite him being interfering and arrogant and over-protective, he was still my friend. He’d helped me when I needed it, and I wanted to do the same for him. If I could just work out how …

‘But surely if the Old Donn was in the wrong, the Morrígan can’t hold Tavish?’ I asked, hearing the worry in my voice.

‘Doesn’t stop her being upset that her son is dead or wanting revenge, does it?’ Finn said. ‘Look, Gen, Tavish is old and tricky enough to look after himself. Don’t forget he virtually killed three wylde fae on his own, the fossegrim’s not all there apparently. So Tavish will find a way out of whatever problem he’s in with the Morrígan sooner or later. I wouldn’t waste too much sleep over him, if I were you. And as for the rest, I haven’t a clue what the suckers are up to, other than it probably has to do with the usual: blood. Or who this Jack the raven is or what he’s after either.’ He reached out and took my hands, his fingers were warm and gentle. ‘I know you want to find another way to crack the curse, Gen, and that it’s a big step to take having a child, but—’ He stopped and rolled his shoulders like he was getting ready to deliver bad news. ‘I know all this info is new to you, and you want to believe that it means there is another way to crack the curse, but I don’t think anyone’s trying to tell you anything different here. I think it’s more that they’re all using you for their own ends.’

Of course, my own magical gag clause was still in effect, so I still couldn’t tell Finn about my visit to Disney Heaven. I pondered on how to convince him, and finally picked up the brown autopsy envelope and told him about all the missing faelings instead.

‘They do have something to do with the curse,’ I said firmly.

‘I believe you, but the police are dealing with it,’ he said, then frowned. ‘They’ve been questioning the herd, for some strange reason’—he shook his head in bewilderment, while The Mother’s gag clause stopped me telling him about the ‘clue’ I’d sent Hugh in my email—‘but whatever it’s about, it’s the coppers’ job to deal with it, not yours.’

Which was what Malik had said to me. But The Mother had told me to stop whoever was killing the faelings, and when it came down to it, I wasn’t going to piss off The Mother Goddess by ignoring her, and that meant no way was I going to leave the police to deal with it. I was going to do all I could to help them—or rather, Hugh, since Witch-bitch Helen wouldn’t have anything to do with me. I was still going to visit the ravens, and I’d do anything else it took. But it didn’t look like Finn was buying into that, and it was pointless arguing with him about it, not when I couldn’t use what The Mother had told me to convince him. I decided to change the subject to something I could tell him about.

Tavish’s handprint spell on my stomach.

‘Can you show me?’ he asked, frowning in concern.

‘Yep,’ I said, and undid my jeans, leaned back along the bench seat and managed to reveal most of the black handprint without losing too much modesty.

Finn’s green eyes filled with alarm and … anger. He moved closer and gently pushed up my top to uncover the mass of purple bruising. ‘You’ve been injured, Gen?’

‘Ah.’ I pulled a face. ‘I ran into a bit of a problem last night.’

‘A bit of a problem?’

‘You should see the other guy,’ I quipped, thinking that while Mad Max hadn’t personally injured me, he was ultimately responsible. I was pretty sure that despite being a vamp he looked worse than me right now. ‘Hey, and painkillers work wonders.’

‘What other guy?’ A muscle in Finn’s jaw twitched in anger. ‘It’s that sucker, isn’t it? Did he do this?’

So much for keeping things light. ‘No.’ I pulled my top down over my unzipped jeans. ‘He helped’—mostly —‘and I’m fine.’ I caught his hand. Time for a truth he didn’t want to hear—and one I hated to admit. ‘Finn, the vamps—Malik al-Khan, at any rate—they’re probably always going to be a part of my life. Whatever happens. I can’t change that, so it’s pointless getting all worked up over it, okay?’

He gave me a long, considering look, then pulled his hand from mine. ‘I’m sorry, Gen, but I’m not sure it is okay. I need to know what “being part of your life” means. I’m not prepared to share, so you need to know that. And if that’s not what you want, then there isn’t any future for us, curse or no curse.’

My heart stalled, then thumped fast in sudden fear. I swallowed, my hands curling against my thighs. Did he mean he’d walk away? I suddenly realised how much I didn’t want to lose him, both as a friend, or maybe more. ‘I don’t know what to tell you,’ I said, the words catching in my throat.

‘Are you sleeping with him?’

‘No.’ I paused, then a niggle of magic made me add, ‘Not in the way you mean.’

‘Gen—’

‘Finn,’ I said earnestly, ‘I can’t lie, you know that. I’m not even going to try and prevaricate, but if you want straight answers, you need to ask straight questions.’ I smoothed my suddenly sweaty hands down my thighs before I remembered I was wearing my velvet jeans. ‘I’m not having sexual intercourse with him, but yes, I did sleep in the same bed as him last night.’ Then I took a deep breath and explained how I’d freely given Malik my blood, and what sort of power it gave him over me: that even without the 3V disadvantage, if he wanted something, all he needed to do was order me and I couldn’t refuse.

Finn was staring out of the limo window by the time I finished. After a long silence where I glowered at the glossy wood of the limo’s bar (a couple of whorls in particular resembled a Rorschach of a dead bat, and I didn’t need a psychiatrist to tell me what that meant), he turned back to me and said flatly, ‘What if he didn’t order you? Would you want to have sexual intercourse with him then?’

Straight questions are so overrated. I made myself meet his eyes. ‘I don’t know, Finn. I’m attracted to him physically, but …’ He confuses me, he’s arrogant, I don’t trust him, I haven’t a clue what he wants, and part of me never wants to see him again, but— ‘It wouldn’t be something I’d choose, if I were already in a relationship.’

He blinked, then a slow smile appeared on his face. ‘Good.’

‘Good?’ I questioned.

‘Yeah.’ His smile widened, a hint of mischief glinting in his eyes. ‘Now how about I check out your new spell?’

Relief bubbled up inside me, making me light-headed. I gave him a cautious smile back. ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’ It sounded more like playing with fire to me. ‘What if the magic decides to take a hand in things?’

‘Up to you, Gen,’ he said, momentarily serious again. ‘But I want to know what spell Tavish and the Morrígan have tagged you with, even if you don’t.’

I did. ‘Okay, then yes.’

‘Here and now’s as good a place as any.’ He waved at the limo’s plush interior. ‘The car’s private, and after your little mind trick on your solicitor, we’re not likely to be disturbed.’

I checked my watch: there was still plenty of time before I was supposed to meet the ravens, and the limo was private. I narrowed my eyes at him in mock suspicion. ‘Just what sort of checking out did you have in mind, Mr Panos?’

A wicked glint lit his eyes. ‘I think the spell needs a thorough examination, don’t you, Ms Taylor?’

Oh boy.

‘If you’d like to take your jacket off, my lady, it’ll make the … examination easier.’

Air in the car suddenly seemed in short supply. I looked down at the long leather bench seat and back up at Finn. He raised his brows expectantly. I hesitated, then … Damn, I was tired of being sensible, and this was Finn, I trusted him, so what harm could it do? I lost the jacket and my boots and swung my legs up.