and run through the people that I met tonight. I told that Rick guy to stick around. Is there anyone here that I can match him with? What about that mountain-climber chick? Eh. No. There was that nice nurse. But she's in her mid- forties and Rick is in his mid-thirties. Not sure if that will work either. I'm going to freakin KILL Derek.
An assistant producer pops his head into the office.
'We're back in sixty seconds. We need you out here now.'
My mouth drops open for the second time in five minutes and I shoot Derek daggers.
'No,' I insist in a low voice. 'I can't do it.'
'Come on, Jane,' Derek coaxes, giving my arm a little pull.
'No,' I say more defiantly. 'You can't make me go out there. It'll be too embarrassing.'
'Come on.' He pulls me up from the chair and pushes me toward the door. I'm not moving my feet and he is actually sliding me out the door. Stupid slippery new boots.
Derek doesn't let go of me until I'm sitting on the desk again and a girl is touching up my makeup. Seriously, I have no idea what I am going to do. NO IDEA. I just can't do this. I turn to Hope. Maybe I can reason with her?
'Listen, I can't just do an on-the-spot match. It doesn't work like that. Besides, have you guys really thought it out? I mean, who is going to let you just follow them out the door and on a date? It won't work.' I shake my head.
There. I told her and it makes perfect sense. They'll have to make some sort of statement and we won't have to do this.
'I'll do it,' a girl's voice says from the crowd of people.
'Who said that?' Hope asks.
'I did.' Melissa steps out from the crowd and heads for my desk.
'What? You?' I spit at her. 'But you said you'd never let me match you. You said it was stupid and you didn't need it and you could find your own dates.'
'Yeah, well, I changed my mind,' Melissa tells me smugly. She turns to the Gabby Girlz. 'I'll sign whatever you want. You can follow me on a date.'
'She's our girl.'' Hope yells.
My jaw drops for the third time tonight. Seriously, my chest is gonna be bruised from my chin hitting it again and again like this. I look at Melissa and the Gabby Girlz.
Why am I even here? They all have their minds made up and they don't seem to need me. Except for the matchmaking part.
I contemplate making a run for the door when the director announces, 'We're back in five, four, three, two...'
18
The lights are burning on my face and I can feel sweat beading at my temple. Hope says something to the camera, has Melissa step up to the desk, and introduces her. Then they turn to face me.
'All right, Jane,' Hope says. 'Do your thing.'
Okay. I have to think fast. I have to match Melissa with someone here. And it has to be someone compatible.
It has to be a match that actually works or I'll look like a big fat fraud on national television. What am I going to do? I need to stall. I stand up and slowly walk behind the desk and take a seat in my chair.
'Melissa,' I ask, slowly, 'what is your favorite drink?'
Like I don't already know.
'I simply adore' –Melissa smiles at the camera–'small nonfat lattes.'
'Okay,' I say. 'Age?'
'Eighteen,' she answers with a giggle. 'Like you didn't know.' I sigh heavily as I type the information in, trying to figure out what I'm going to do.
'Interesting tidbit?' Darn! My voice quivered.
'Since you asked,' Melissa says, perching on my desk now and facing the camera instead of me, 'I'm going to become a famous fashion designer. I'm studying at the renowned School of the Art Institute of Chicago and I've already designed these fab sparkly leg warmers PERFECT for the current leggings trend.' She kicks her legs out for the camera to see. 'And you can get them at www–'
'We'll cut you off there,' Olivia interrupts, giving Melissa a dirty look. Ah. So that was her deal. She's trying to sell some lame-o leg warmers. What is she thinking? Leg warmers need to stay dead and buried in the eighties.
'Jane,' Olivia continues, 'do you have a match for Melissa?'
'Give me just a minute,' I say, trying to look calm. I check the list of people I met tonight. Ugh. No one seems right for Melissa. I can maybe, possibly send her with the veterinarian but a) he's too old and b) he's too smart for her. I don't know what I am going to do.
'Ready, Jane?' Hope asks. 'We are on television, you know.' All the Gabby Girlz laugh. Tee hee hee. This is SO not funny, people.
'Um ...' I scan the crowd hoping for the perfect match to just fall from the sky and into the wooden barrel of stuffed holiday bears. And then it hits me. A match. It would work. But no. I couldn't. No, no, no. I just can't.
Not him. Not with her.
'Jane?' Hope prompts again, eyes wide and giving me a 'hurry up' look.
'Okay ...' I start, 'the perfect... um ... match for uh ... a small nonfat latte is a ...' I take a deep breath and close my eyes. 'A five-shot espresso over ice.'
'Ooh,' Mackenzie says, like she just heard the most scandalous thing ever. 'And who is that?'
I can literally feel my heart breaking into a million pieces.
'Will,' I whisper, and point in his direction.
I can feel the tears stinging my eyes as Will and Melissa exchange introductions and prepare to head out for their date. Hope, Mackenzie, and Gabby thank me and say a few more words, but I don't really hear them.
Suddenly, the lights flip off me and the cameras move.
Some guys with handhelds follow Melissa and Will out the door for their date. I stand up, turn, and run out of the store.
I run and run, tears streaming down my face, for what seems like miles but is really only a few blocks. What did I do? What did I just do? How could I give over my Will to that ... that evil witch? And what was with the way they looked at each other? All pleased and stuff. Ugh, it made me want to puke all over them. That would have been fun TV I run another block and then turn around the corner so no one from the store can see me on the sidewalk.
I lean against the brick wall of a tall high-rise, breathing heavily. I really need to work out more. I slouch down to a squat against the building, pulling my dress over my legs. It's cold out and I didn't stop to grab my jacket when I sprinted away from the store.
I lay my head back against the building and look up.
I'm just under the El train track. I love the El. I've loved the El ever since I was a little girl. Whenever my mom and I or my dad and I were out running errands and we came near the El track, I would beg them to let me stand there for a few minutes and watch the trains zoom by overhead.
There was always a train rushing by every few minutes.
Lights would flash, the track would shake, and the train would make a clattering rumble as it passed. I used to think the track would break and the train would crash right in front of me and I would leap out of the way just in time.
Maybe that will happen now, only I won't be able to leap fast enough and I won't have to go back to the store. Then I won't have to see Melissa and Will ... together. I close my eyes and listen as a train goes racing past
