“How can we?” asked Nell; “We have no plans. We don’t know such things any more. We have forgotten almost all of it. But I do know that to break free from the Home would take a pushing something that all of us together couldn’t supply.”
“We will have the-the fuel,” said the Oldest. “When the time comes. My Befores knew the fuel. We would not need it if only our motivers had developed their Gift fully, but as they did not-
“We must each of us search the Before stream of our lives and find the details that we require in this hour of need. By the Presence, the Name, and the Power, let us remember.”
The evening sped away almost in silence as each mind opened and became receptive to the flow of racial memory that lay within. All of us partook in a general way of that stream that stemmed almost from the dawn of the Home. In particular, each family had some specialized area of the memory in greater degree than the others. From time to time came a sigh or a cry prefacing, “My Befores knew of the metals,” or “Mine of the instruments”- the words were unfamiliar “The instruments of pressure and temperature.”
“Mine” I discovered with a glow-and a sigh-“the final putting together of the shells of ships.”
“Yes,” nodded David, “and also, from my father’s Befores, the settings of the-the-the settings that guide the ship.”
“Navigation,” said Neil’s deep voice. “My Befores knew of the making of the navigation machine yours knew how to set.”
“And all,” I said, “all of this going back to nursery school would have been unnecessary if we hadn’t rested so comfortably so long on the achievements of our Befores!” I felt the indignant withdrawal of some of those about me, but the acquiescence of most of them.
When the evening ended, each of us Old Ones carried not only the burden of the doom of the Home but a part of the past that, in the Quiet Place of each home, must, with the help of the Power, be probed and probed again, until-
“Until-” The Oldest stood suddenly, clutching the table as though he just realized the enormity of what he was saying.
“Until we have the means of leaving the Home-before it becomes a band of dust between the stars-“
Simon and Lytha were waiting up with ‘Chell when David and I returned. At the sight of our faces, Simon slipped into the bedroom and woke Davie and the two crept quietly back into the room. Simon’s thought reached out ahead of him. Did he tell? And mine went out reassuringly. No. And he won’t.
In spite of-or perhaps because of-the excitement that had been building up in me all evening, I felt suddenly drained and weak. I sat down, gropingly, in a chair and pressed nay hands to my face; “You tell them, David,” I said, fighting an odd vertigo.
David shivered and swallowed hard. “There were no failova because the Home is being broken up. By next Gathering Day there will be no Home. It is being destroyed. We can’t even say why. We have forgotten too much and there isn’t time to seek out the information now, but long before next Gathering Day, we will be gone- out.”
‘Chell’s breath caught audibly. “‘No Home!” she said, her eyes widening and darkening. “No Home? Oh, David, don’t joke. Don’t try to scare-“
“It’s true.” My voice had steadied now. “It has been Seen. We must build ships and seek asylum among the stars.” My heart gave a perverse jump of excitement. “The Home will no longer exist. We will be homeless exiles.”
“But the People away from the Home!” ‘Chell’s face puckered, close to tears. “‘How can we live anywhere else? We are a part of the Home as much as the Home is a part of us. We can’t just amputate-“
“Father!” Lytha’s voice was a little too loud. She said again, “Father, are all of us going together in the same ship?”
“No,” said David. “Each Group by itself.” Lytha relaxed visibly. “Our Group is to have six ships,” he added.
Lytha’s hands tightened. “Who is to go in which ship?”
“It hasn’t been decided yet,” said David, provoked. “How can you worry about a detail like that when the Home, the Home will soon be gone!”
“It’s important,” said Lytha, flushing. “Timmy and I-“
“Oh,” said David. “I’m sorry, Lytha. I didn’t know. The matter will have to be decided when the time comes.”
It didn’t take long for the resiliency of childhood to overcome the shock of the knowledge born on Gathering Day. Young laughter rang as brightly through the hills and meadows as always. But David and ‘Chell clung closer to one another, sharing the heavy burden of leave-taking, as did all the adults of the Home. At times I, too, felt wildly, hopefully, that this was all a bad dream to be awakened from. But other times I had the feeling that this was an awakening. This was the dawn after a long twilight-a long twilight of slanting sun and relaxing shadows. Other times I felt so detached from the whole situation that wonder welled up in me to see the sudden tears, the sudden clutching of familiar things, that had become a sort of pattern among us as realization came and went. And then, there were frightening times when I felt weakness flowing into me like a river-a river that washed all the Home away on a voiceless wave. I was almost becoming more engrossed in the puzzle of me than in the puzzle of the dying Home-and I didn’t like it,
David and I went often to Meeting, working with the rest of the Group on the preliminary plans for the ships. One night he leaned across the table to the Oldest and asked, “How do we know how much food will be needed to sustain us until we find asylum?”
The Oldest looked steadily back at him. “We don’t know,” he said. “We don’t know that we will ever find asylum.”
“Don’t know?” David’s eyes were blank with astonishment.
“No,” said the Oldest. “We found no other habitable worlds before the Peace. We have no idea how far we will have to go or if we shall any of us live to see another Home. Each Group is to be assigned to a different sector of the sky. On Crossing Day, we say good-by-possibly forever-to all the other Groups. It may be that only one ship will plant the seeds of the People upon a new world. It may be that we will all he Called before a new Home is found.”
“Then,” said David, “why don’t we stay here and take our Calling with the Home?”
