“For real,” mused Debbie, clasping their hands. “I could hardly believe it was for real then, either. Here is how I felt-“
RETURN
I was afraid. When the swelling bulk of the Earth blotted our ports, I was afraid for the first time. Fear was a sudden throb in my throat and, almost as an echo, a sudden throb from Child Within reminded me why it was that Earth was swelling in our ports after such a final good-by. Drawn by my mood, Thann joined me as the slow turning of our craft slid the Earth out of sight.
“Apprehensive?” he asked, his arm firm across my shoulders.
“A little.” I leaned against him. “This business of trying to go back again is a little disquieting. You can’t just slip back into the old mold. Either it’s changed or you’ve changed-or both. I realize that.”
“Well, the best we can do is give it the old college try,” he said. “And all for Child Within. I hope he appreciates it.”
“Or she.” I glanced down at my unfamiliar proportions.
“As the case may be. But you do understand, don’t you?” Need for reassurance lifted my voice a little. “Thann, we just had to come back. I just couldn’t bear the thought of Child Within being born in that strange-tidy-” My voice trailed off and I leaned more heavily, sniffing.
“Listen, Debbie-my-dear!” Thann shook me gently and hugged me roughly. “I know, I know! While I don’t share your aching necessity for Earth, I agreed, didn’t I? Didn’t I sweat blood in that darn Motiver school, learning to manipulate this craft? Aren’t we almost there?”
“Almost there! Oh, Thann! Oh, Thann!” Our craft had completed another of its small revolutions, and Earth marched determinedly across the port again. I pressed myself against the pane, wanting to reach-to gather in the featureless mists, the blurred beauties of the world, and hold them so close-so close that even Child Within would move to their wonder.
I’m a poor hand at telling time. I couldn’t tell you even to within a year how long ago it was that Shua lifted the Ship from the flat at Cougar Canyon and started the trip from Earth to The Home. I remembered how excited I was. Even my ponytail had trembled as the great adventure began. Thann swears he was standing so close to me at Takeoff that the ponytail tickled his nose. But I don’t remember him. I don’t even remember seeing him at all during the long trip when the excitement of being evacuated from Earth dulled to the routine of travel and later became resurrected as anxiety about what The Home would be like.
I don’t remember him at all until that desolate day on The Home when I stood at the end of the so-precise little lane that wound so consciously lovely from the efficient highway. I was counting, through the blur of my tears, the precisely twenty-six trees interspersed at suitable intervals by seven clumps of underbrush. He just happened to be passing at the moment end I looked up at him and choked, “Not even a weed! Not one!”
Astonished, he folded his legs and hovered a little above eye level.
“What good’s a weed?”
“At least it shows individuality!” I shut my eyes, not caring that by so doing the poised tears consolidated and fell “I’m so sick of perfection!”
“Perfection?” He lifted a little higher above me, his eyes on some far sight. “I certainly wouldn’t call The Home perfect yet. From here I can see the North Reach. We’ve only begun to nibble at that. The preliminary soil crew is just starting analysis.” He dropped down beside me. “We can’t waste time and space on weeds. It’ll take long enough to make the whole of The Home habitable without using energy on nonessentials.”
“They’ll find out!” I stubbornly proclaimed. “Someday they’ll find out that weeds are essentials. Man wasn’t made for such-such neatness. He has to have unimportant clutter to relax in!”
“Why haven’t you presented these fundamental doctrines to the Old Ones?” He laughed at me.
“Have I not!” I retorted. “Well, maybe not to the Old Ones, but I’ve already expressed myself, and further more, Mr.-Oh, I’m sorry, I’m Debbie-“
“I’m Thannel,” he grinned.
“-Thannel, I’ll have you know other wiser heads than mine have come to the same conclusion. Maybe not in my words, but they mean the same thing. This artificiality-this-this-The People aren’t meant to live divorced from the- the-” I spread my hands. “Soil, I guess you could say. They lose something when everything gets-gets paved.”
“Oh, I think we’ll manage,” he smiled. “Memory can sustain.”
“Memory? Oh, Thann, remember the tangle of blackberry vines in back of Kroginold’s house? How we used to burrow under the scratchy, cool, green twilight in under these vines and hunt for berries-cool ones from the shadows, and warm ones from the sun, and always at least one thorn in the thumb as payment for trespassing. Mmmm-” Eyes closed, I lost myself in the memory.
Then my eyes flipped open. “Or are you from the other Home? Maybe you’ve never even seen Earth.”
“Yes, I have,” he said, suddenly sober. “I’m from Bendo. I haven’t many happy memories of Earth. Until your Group found us, we had a pretty thin time of it.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. “Bendo was our God Bless for a long time when I was little.”
“Thank you.” He straightened briskly and grinned. “How about a race to the twenty-third despised tree, just to work off a little steam!”
And the two of us lifted and streaked away, a yard above the careful gravel of the lane, but I got the giggles so badly that I blundered into the top of the twenty-first tree and had to be extricated gingerly from its limbs. Together we guiltily buried at its foot the precious tiny branch I had broken off in my blundering, and then, with muffled laughter and guilty back-glances, we went our separate ways.
That night I lay and waited for the pale blue moon of The Home to vault into the sky, and thought about Earth and the Other Home.
The other Home was first, of course-the beautiful prototype of this Home. But it had weeds! And all the tangled splendor of wooded hillsides and all soaring upreach naked peaks and the sweet uncaring, uncountable profusion of life, the same as Earth. But The Home died-blasted out of the heavens by a cosmic Something that shattered it and scattered the People like birds from a falling tree. Part of them found this Home-or the bare bones of it-and started to remake it into The Home. Others found refuge on Earth. We had it rough for a long time because we were separated from each other. Besides, we were Different, with a capital D, and some of us didn’t survive the adjustment period. Slowly though, we were Gathered In until there were two main Groups-Cougar Canyon and Bendo. Bendo lived in a hell of concealment and fear long after Cougar Canyon had managed to adjust to an
