“They can help.” Melodye touched Lea’s shoulder gently.
“And, Lea, they never judge. They mend where mending is needed and leave the judgment to God.” And she was gone.
“Maybe,” Lea mourned, “if I had sinned some enormous sins I could have something big to forgive myself so I could start over, but all these niggling nibbling little nothingnesses-“
“All these niggling little, nibbling little nothingnesses that compounded themselves into such a great despair,” Karen said.
“And what is despair but a separation from the Presence-“
“Then the People do believe that there is-?”
“Our Home may be gone,” Karen said firmly, “and all of us exiles if you want to look at it that way, but there’s no galaxy wide enough to separate us from the Presence.”
Later that night Lea sat up in bed. “Karen?”
“Yes?” Karen’s voice came instantly from the darkness though Lea knew she was down the hall.
“Are you still shielding me from-from whatever it was?”
“No,” Karen said. “I released you this morning.”
“That’s what I thought.” Lea drew a quavering breath.
“Right now it’s all gone away, as though it had never been, but I’m still nowhere and going nowhere. Just waiting. And if I wait long enough it’ll come back again, that I know. Karen, what can I do to-not to be where I am now when it comes back?”
“You’re beginning to work at it now,” Karen said. “And if it does come back we’re here to help. It will never be so impenetrable again.”
“How could it be?” Lea murmured. “How could I have gone through anything as black as that and survived-or ever do it again?”
Lea lay back with a sigh. Then, sleepily, “Karen?”
“Yes?”
“Who was that down at the pool?”
“Don’t you know?” Karen’s voice smiled. “Have you looked around at all?”
“What good would it do? I can’t remember what he looked like. It’s been so long since I’ve noticed anything- and then the blackness-But he brought me back to the house, didn’t he? You must have seen him-“
“Must I?” Karen teased. “Maybe we could arrange to have him carry you again. “Arms remember when eyes forget.’ “
“‘There’s something wrong with that quotation,” Lea said drowsily, “‘But I’ll skip it for now.”
It seemed to Lea that she had just slipped under the edge of sleep when she heard Karen.
“What!” Karen cried. “Right now? Not tomorrow?”
“Karen!” Lea called, groping in the darkness for the light switch. “What’s the matter?”
“The matter!” Karen laughed and shot through the window, turning and tumbling ecstatically in midair.
“Nothing’s the matter! Oh, Lea, come and be joyful!” She grabbed Lea’s hands and pulled her up from the bed.
“Not Karen! No!” Lea cried as her bare feet curled themselves away from the empty air that seemed to lick at them.
“Put me down!” Terror sharpened her voice.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” Karen said, releasing her to plump gently down on her bed. She herself flashed again across the room and back in a froth of nightgowny ruffles. “Oh, be joyful! Be joyful unto the Lord!”
“What is it!” Lea cried, suddenly afraid, afraid of anything that might change things as they were. The vast emptiness began to cave away inside her. The blackness was a cloud the size of a man’s hand on the far horizon.
“It’s Valancy!” Karen cried, shooting away back through the window. “I have to get dressed! The baby’s here!”
“The baby!” Lea was bewildered. “What baby?”
“Is there any other baby?” Karen’s voice floated back, muffled. “‘Valancy and Jemmy’s. It’s here! I’m an aunt! Oh, dear, now I’m well on the way to becoming an ancestress. I thought they would never get around to it. It’s a girl! At least Jemmy says he thinks it’s a girl. He’s so excited that it could be both, or even triplets! Well, as soon as Valancy gets back-” She walked back through the door, brushing her hair briskly.
“What hospital did she go to?” Lea asked. “Isn’t this pretty isolated-“
“Hospital? Oh, none, of course. She’s at home.”
“But you said when she gets back-“
“Yes. It’s a far solemn journey to bring back a new life from the Presence. It takes a while.”
“But I didn’t even notice!” Lea cried. “Valancy was there tonight and I don’t remember-“
“But then you haven’t been noticing much of anything for a long time,” Karen said gently.
