Oliver's Story

'Eight o'clock's the bottom line.'

'You drive a ruthless bargain,' I responded, acquiescing.

'I'm a ruthless bitch,' she said. Then smiled and sprinted through the iron gates of her enormous castle.

In the office elevator, I began to yawn. Our shut-eye had been minimal and only now were the effects affecting me. I also looked exactly like a human wrinkle. At one of our coffee stops, I'd bought a cheapo razor and attempted shaving. No machines, however, were dispensing shirts. So I inevitably looked like I'd been doing what I had been doing.

'Well, it's Mr Romeo!' Anita cried.

Who the hell had told her?

'It says right on your sweater: 'Alfa Romeo'. I thought it was your name. You surely aren't Mr Barrett. He is always in the office with the dawn.'

'I overslept,' I said, and started for the refuge of my chamber.

'Oliver, get ready for a shock.'

I paused.

'What happened?'

'Flower people have attacked.'

'What?'

'Can't you smell from here?'

I entered what was once my office and was now a huge botanical extravaganza. Floral effervescence everywhere. Even my own desk was now … a bed of roses.

'Somebody loves you,' said Anita, sniffing sweetly at the door.

'Was there a card?' I queried, praying that she hadn't opened it.

'On your roses — I mean on your desk,' she said.

I reached for it. Thank heaven it was sealed and indicated 'Personal'.

'It's very heavy paper,' said Anita. 'When I held it to the light I couldn't read a thing,'

'You can go to lunch,' I answered, giving her a non-caloric smile.

'What's happened, Oliver?' she said while scrutinizing me. (My shirt was slightly frazzled, but no other clues. I'd checked.)

'What do you mean, Anita?'

'You neglected totally to hassle me for messages.'

I told her once again to go and snicker out at lunch. And hang 'Do not disturb' out on the knob.

'Who has that kind of signs? This isn't a motel, y'know!' She left and shut the door.

I nearly ripped the envelope to shreds while opening. The message was: I didn't know your favourite and didn't want to disappoint.

Love,

M.

I smiled and grabbed the phone.

'She's in conference. May I say who's calling?'

'It's her Uncle Abner,' I said, sounding as avuncular as possible. There was a pause, a click, and suddenly the boss.

'Yes?'

Marcie on the line, her tone extremely crisp.

'How come your tone's so goddamn crisp?'

'I'm in a meeting with the West Coast managers.'

Aha, the upper echelon. The varsity. And she was giving them her imitation of a Frigidaire.

'I'll call you back,' said Marcie, clearly desperate to preserve her frosty image.

'I'll just be brief,' I said. 'The flowers were a lovely touch — '

'That's fine,' she answered. 'I'll get back to you — '

'And one more thing. You've got the most fantastic ass — '

A sudden click. The bitch hung up on me!

My heart ached and a drowsy numbness filled my soul.

'Is he dead?'

Vaguely I began to comprehend more words on the horizon of my consciousness. The voice resembled that of Barry Pollack, a recent law grad who'd just joined the firm.

'He looked so healthy just this morning.'

Now Anita, trying for an Oscar as bereaved relation.

'How did he get there?' Barry asked.

I sat up. Christ, I had been sleeping on my bed of roses!

'Hi, guys,' I murmured, yawning but pretending that I always took siestas on my desk. 'Try knocking next time, huh?'

'We did,' said Barry nervously, 'a lot of times. So then we opened up to see if you were … uh — y'know — all right.'

'I'm fine,' I answered, nonchalantly flicking petals from my shirt.

'I'll make you coffee,' said Anita, exiting.

'What's up, Barry?' I inquired.

'Uh … the — you know — School Board case. We're — you know — prepping it together.'

'Yeah,' I said, as it began to dawn on me that in another world I used to be a lawyer. 'Don't we have a meeting on it sometime?'

'Yeah. Today at three,' said Barry, shuffling papers, shifting from his right foot to his left.

'Okay, see you then.'

'Uh … it's sort of half past four,' said Barry, hoping earnestly that accuracy would not cause offense.

'Four-thirty? Holy shit!' I leapt onto my feet.

'I've got a lot of research— ' Barry started, thinking that the session had begun.

'No. Hey, Barry — look, let's meet tomorrow on it, huh?' I headed for the door.

'What time?'

'You name it — first thing in the morning.'

'Half past eight?'

I paused. The School Board case was actually not quite the first thing I had planned for my matutinal activities.

'No. I'm seeing … an executive. We'd better make it ten.'

'Okay.'

'Ten-thirty would be better. Bar.'

'Okay.'

As I burst out the door, I heard him mutter, 'I've done really lots of research … '

I was early for the doctor, but was glad to leave. London wasn't on my wavelength, and besides, there were momentous things to do. Like get a haircut. And select my wardrobe. Should I wear a tie?

And bring a toothbrush?

Shit, I still had hours more to wait. And so I ran in Central Park to pass the time.

And also pass her house.