Hard Candy

me. I waited for this. I know I kept talking about it, but now's the time.'

'It's dangerous.'

'It's not dangerous. You think this is like a coat-hanger abortion? They know what they're doing.'

His head swiveled to me again. 'She wants to be a citizen.'

'I know.'

'None of you know.'

The Mole's eyes were liquid pain behind the glass. 'You can't live out there, Michelle. It's not for you.'

'You just don't want to lose Terry. How selfish can you be, Mole? You want him to spend his life in this junkyard? Never go to school?'

'I go to school, Mom,' the kid said quietly.

'Oh, sure you do, honey. I'm sure you know all about tapping telephones and beating burglar-alarm systems. Maybe someday the Mole will teach you how to blow up buildings.'

The Mole's head came up. 'Tell her,' he said, his voice rusty. He didn't use it much.

Terry tapped Michelle's hand, making her look. 'Mom, I study physics. And chemistry. And math. I do. Ask me anything. Burke got me the textbooks for all the first-year courses at college. Mom, I already know the stuff. Mole is the best teacher in the world.'

'And what are you going to do with all this knowledge, baby? Go to med school?'

'I don't want to go to medical school.'

'No, you want to live in a junkyard with this lunatic. Well, you're not.'

'Mom…'

'Don't 'Mom' me, Terry. You want to end up like Burke? You like the idea of going to prison?'

'The Mole doesn't go to prison.'

'Ask him why. Ask your teacher why he didn't go to prison.'

'I know why, Mom. I know Burke took the weight for him that time in the subway tunnel. Mole told me all about it. That's what family does.'

'That's what good criminals do, honey.'

'That's the rules.'

She grabbed the boy by his shoulders. Shook him roughly. 'I know all about family. My biological parents taught me very well. They weren't family, so I picked my own. And we picked you. All of us, not just the Mole. You're not growing up in the underground. You're not going to spend your life like this.'

Tears ran down the kid's face but his voice was steady. 'I lived with them once. The citizens. Remember, Mom? Remember how you found me?'

Michelle dropped to her knees in the junkyard, clutching the boy's legs, crying. He patted her head gently, whispering to her. The Mole moved away. I followed him.

'It's not safe' is all he said.

'The operation?'

'The boy. He can't live out there. Maybe Michelle could. Go back and forth all the time. It's not right to split him like this.'

We walked through the twilight, jagged shadows spiking from the cannibalized cars. I moved between two of the cars. Stopped short when I heard a snarl. A white pit bull was lying against an old Cadillac, tiny squealing puppies nursing underneath her. Even Simba stepped around her.

'I never saw a pit bull here before. I thought they were all dog fighters.'

'Terry found her. They were fighting dogs on the other side of the meat market…you know just past where the trucks pull in?'

'Yeah.'

'She lost a fight. They left her there to die. We fixed her up. Now she's part of the pack.'

'Like Terry.'

He didn't say anything for a while. I lit another smoke. We made a wide circle, giving Terry and Michelle plenty of time.

'The boy knows Hebrew too,' the Mole said, defensively. I dragged on my cigarette, remembering the boy's Bar Mitzvah.

The kid already knew how to blow up buildings.

32

WHEN WE got back to the clearing, Michelle was perched on the Mole's oil drum, a fresh blanket beneath her. The boy was sitting on the ground, her hand on his shoulder. They were waiting for us.

The Mole went into his bunker.

'I'm still having the operation,' she told me, defiance lancing through the fear in her voice.

I bowed.

A half-smile played across her lovely face. She patted Terry's shoulder. 'Sweetheart, just tell me you don't want to be like Burke- that's all I ask.'

'I want to be like Mole.'

'Honey, the Mole's a genius. I'd never take that away from him. And he's a wonderful man in many ways. I know he's taught you a lot. And I know he loves you, although I'm sure he's never told you.'

'He told me. He said he was proud of me.'

'I know, baby. But…to live like this. You'll be a man soon. The Mole…I mean, you want to live out here? Never have a girl of your own?'

'I'll have a woman, when I'm ready. A mate. Like the Mole said. A man has to have a mate.'

'But the Mole…he doesn't…'

'Mom, I thought you…'

It was the first time I ever saw Michelle blush.

33

WE WERE crossing the Triboro Bridge before Michelle spoke.

'You think the Mole feels that way about me?'

'You know he does. Always has.'

She lit one of her long black cigarettes. 'He never said…'

'Neither did you.'

I hooked the East Side Drive, high-rise lights flashing past us.

'You miss her?'

'I'll always miss her.'

'Belle's dead, baby. You know who I mean.'

The Plymouth sharked its own way through the light traffic.

'Sometimes,' I said.

34

I PULLED UP outside Michelle's hotel. 'You working tonight?' she asked.

'No.'

'Take me to the Cellar.'