A little chuckle went around the room, which Thandi found herself joining. Whatever else, Luiz Rozsak was a genuinely charming man. Charismatic, in fact, in the way that relaxed and good-humored and supremely self- confident people can be.
When the chuckle died away, Rozsak's expression was solemn. Just this side of grim, actually.
'I'm wondering how much of your decision was determined by the last assignment I gave you. More precisely- I'm sure you didn't shed any tears over killing Masadans and Scrags-by what lay behind it.' His voice was flat, harsh. 'And I'm not going to pretend that we don't all know what I'm talking about. Yes, I was responsible for the murder of Hieronymus Stein. As well as a number of innocent people who were taken out at the same time, including, I discovered later, two kids. That was not part of the plan, by the way. That was the Masadans' doing. But-such things happen, especially when you employ maniacs like them, which doesn't relieve me of the responsibility for it.'
He cocked his head, waiting for her reply.
Thandi hesitated, before giving it. Not from caution, simply in order to put the words as precisely as possible. She wasn't going to lie, she decided-not even fudge the truth-but, on the other hand, she also wasn't going to evade behind any false pretenses.
'Some, Sir. But it's not the killings themselves, so much-not even the dead kids.' She thought of her growing plans to assault Kuy. Plans which she would carry through, when and if the time came, knowing full well that innocent people-probably some kids, too-would be among the fatalities.
'It's… all the ruthless manipulation and maneuvering. And for what? No offense, Sir, but I just can't see anything in it except the worst kind of power politics. And I've discovered that I don't enjoy any more being on the top of the pile-fairly high up, anyway-than being on the bottom.'
'A lieutenant is hardly 'high up,' Thandi,' observed Edie Habib.
'It is when you come from Ndebele, XO.
Habib nodded, acknowledging the point. Watanapongse smiled serenely. Huang's smile-the burly lieutenant colonel had been born and raised on an OFS planet himself-was not serene in the least.
Throughout, Rozsak had not smiled at all. 'I can understand that, Thandi. But I would ask you to consider-just for a moment-that maybe my willingness to play power politics might work out for the best. I'm not about to deny my own ambitions, but… the same could be said for just about any significant figure in history. Including, for that matter, Hieronymus Stein. He was not the saint he was made out to be, you know-and, sure as hell, his daughter isn't. That man never missed a single chance-not one-to increase his influence and prestige.'
Thandi said nothing. She tried to keep an expressionless face, but suspected she was just looking mulish.
Rozsak sighed. 'I'm really not a monster, Thandi.'
That, she could answer. 'I've never once thought you were, Sir.' Seeing his quizzical eyebrow, she shook her head firmly. 'I don't. I understand what you're doing-even why you're doing it. And if you want to know the truth, I think you'll probably make a hell of a good ruler as well as conqueror. Way better than the swine we've got running the show in the Solarian League nowadays, that's for sure.'
Seeing the stiffness those last words brought to everyone in the room-it was a subtle thing, but Thandi didn't miss it-she sniffed. 'I am not stupid. Not even uneducated, any longer. I figured out some time ago what you-this inner circle, here-were up to. I knew it even before I figured out the truth about the Stein business. You're figuring the Solarian League is about to come apart at the seams-and you intend to grab as big a chunk of it as you can. Who knows? Maybe all of it.'
Rozsak was now giving her a flat-eyed look which, if it didn't quite match the one Victor and Jeremy X could manage, came awfully close. 'And what would you say if I offered to bring you into that 'inner circle,' Thandi?' He unlaced his hands and sat up straight. 'Piss on the subjunctive tense. I
So, there it was. Spread out before her, wide open-dreams greater than any girl from Ndebele could have even imagined. Nor did Thandi doubt for a moment that Rozsak was being perfectly sincere. This was no ploy. This was for real.
She felt calmness settling over her, and knew that she would never lose it for a lifetime. Whatever else happened in the years ahead, she would always be grateful to the captain for that. Not the offer, but the fact that only that offer could have finally reassured her. Thandi Palane had compromised a lot, in her life, given much away. Traded it away, rather. But she'd never traded herself.
'No, thank you, Sir. I appreciate the offer, believe me I do. But… how to say it? I've got no hard feelings at all, Sir. You have my word on it. I just want a different life, that's all.'
She met Rozsak's eyes, levelly and evenly. Trying, as best she could, to match Berry's sort of gaze. Rozsak seemed to examine her, for a while, before he finally looked down and nodded.
'Fair enough, Thandi. Your resignation is accepted, and-my word on this-there's no hard feelings on my part, either.'
'Thank you, Sir.' She rose and started to turn away. Rozsak's hand on her sleeve halted her.
'Come back again tomorrow, Thandi. Better yet, arrange a meeting in some larger compartment, big enough for my staff and whoever else you think should attend. There's still the matter-ha! to put it mildly-of planning the assault on Congo. I've got some news to report, from Maya, which you'll all want to hear. And let me suggest that we keep your resignation a private matter, for the moment.'
Thandi saw the captain and his staff members exchange a meaningful glance. Huang cleared his throat. 'There's an option you'll want to think about, Thandi. We could-just for a time, and just for the record-keep you on the Marine Corps rolls. With an immediate promotion to whatever rank it'd take to make it plausible that you were leading a rather large unit of Marines in the assault.'
The lieutenant colonel grinned, rather evilly. 'I'd be your adviser. Staying in the shadows while you get the limelight. It'd give you a chance to lead a large unit in action, for the first time, under ideal circumstances. It's pretty much what we were planning to do, anyway. The only difference is that your public resignation comes afterward.'
Thandi looked from him to Rozsak. 'All I'm suggesting, Thandi,' the captain said, '-now that you've settled your nerves by resigning-is that you start thinking about the situation from a tactical and political viewpoint. Get some advice from the people you've grown close to. I'm talking about Professor Du Havel and Jeremy X. Your friend Victor Cachat also. There
He made a little waving motion. 'But you don't have to give me an answer right now. Just set up the meeting I requested, would you?'
Thandi nodded, saluted, and left the compartment.
Out in the corridor, Thandi exchanged a polite nod with Lieutenant Karen Georgos and went on her way. She had to struggle a bit to keep her steps at a normal pace, instead of striding. Some part of her wanted to get away from that compartment as fast as possible.
Not from shame, or guilt-or even fear. It was simply the reaction of a human being who crosses paths with a behemoth, and survives the encounter. Unscathed, as it happened-but still eager to put some distance between them.
Once she was around a bend and out of sight, Thandi stopped and leaned against the bulkhead. Her arms crossed over her chest, and she took a few breaths.
She hadn't been lying. She
That great, sweeping, behemoth ambition. That ambition whose appetite reminded Thandi, more than anything else, of the great predators which roamed the oceans of her home planet.
Those creatures were not monsters, either. Just giant predators, doing what predators do. A beneficent force,