who called himself “senior executive assistant to the Secretary General”. »
«You didn't let him in?»
«No. We talked through the speakie. He says he has papers to deliver to you and that he will wait for an answer.»
«Have him pass them through the flap. This is still the Martian Embassy.»
«Just let him stand outside?»
«Anne, I know you were gently reared — but this is a situation in which rudeness pays off. We don't give an inch, until we get what we want.»
«Yes, Boss.»
The package was bulky with copies; there was only one document. Jubal called in everyone and passed them around. «I am offering one lollipop for each loophole, boobytrap, or ambiguity.»
Presently Jubal broke the silence. «He's an honest politician — he stays bought.»
«Looks that way,» admitted Caxton.
«Anybody?» No one claimed a prize; Douglas had merely implemented the agreement. «Okay,» said Jubal, «everybody witness every copy. Get your seal, Miriam. Hell, let Bradley in and have him witness, too — then give him a drink. Duke, tell the desk we're checking out. Call Greyhound and get our go-buggy. Sven, Skipper, Stinky — we're leaving the way Lot left Sodom … why don't you come up in the country and relax? Plenty of beds, home cooking, no worries.»
The married men asked for rain checks; Dr. Mahmoud accepted. The signing took rather long because Mike enjoyed signing his name, drawing each letter with artistic satisfaction. The remains of the picnic had been loaded by the time all copies were signed and sealed, and the hotel bill had arrived.
Jubal glanced at the fat total, wrote on it: «Approved for payment — J. Harshaw for V. M. Smith,» and handed it to Bradley.
«This is your boss's worry.»
Bradley blinked. «Sir?»
«Oh, Mr. Douglas will doubtless turn it over to the Chief of Protocol. I'm rather green about these things.»
Bradley accepted the bill. «Yes,» he said slowly, «LaRue will voucher it — I'll give it to him.»
«Thank you, Mr. Bradley — for
Part Three
His Eccentric Education
XXII
IN ONE LIMB OF A SPIRAL GALAXY, close to a star known as «Sol» to some, another star became nova. Its glory would be seen on Mars in three-replenished (729) years, or 1370 Terran years. The Old Ones noted it as useful, shortly, for instruction of the young, while never ceasing the exciting discussion of esthetic problems concerning the new epic woven around the death of the Fifth Planet.
The departure of the
On Earth the exploding star was not noticed, human astronomers then being limited by speed of light. The Man from Mars was briefly in the news. The Federation Senate minority leader called for «a bold, new approach» to problems of population and malnutrition in southeast Asia, starting with increased grants-in-aid to families with more than five children. Mrs. Percy B. S. Souchek sued the Los Angeles City-County supervisors over the death of her pet poodle Piddle which had taken place during a five-day stationary inversion. Cynthia Duchess announced that she was going to have the Perfect Baby by a scientifically selected donor and an equally perfect host-mother as soon as experts completed calculating the instant for conception to insure that the wonder child would be equally a genius in music, art, and statesmanship — and that she would (with the aid of hormonal treatments) nurse her child herself. She gave an interview on the psychological benefits of natural feeding and permitted (insisted) that the press take pictures to prove that she was endowed for this.
Supreme Bishop Digby denounced her as the Harlot of Babylon and forbade any Fosterite to accept the commission, either as donor or host-mother. Alice Douglas was quoted: «While I do not know Miss Duchess, one cannot help but admire her. Her brave example should be an inspiration to mothers everywhere.»
Jubal Harshaw saw one of her pictures in a magazine. He posted it in the kitchen, then noted that it did not stay up long, which made him chuckle.
He did not have many chuckles that week; the world was too much with him. The press ceased bothering Mike when the story was over — but thousands of people did not forget Mike. Douglas tried to insure Mike's privacy; S.S. troopers patrolled Harshaw's fence and an S.S. car circled overhead and challenged any car that tried to land. Harshaw resented needing guards.
The telephone Jubal routed through an answering service to which was given a short list from whom Harshaw would accept calls — and kept the house instrument on «refuse & record» most of the time.
But mail always comes through.
Harshaw told Jill that Mike had to grow up; he could start by handling his mail. She could help him. «But don't bother
Jubal could not make it stick; there was too much and Jill did not know how.
Just sorting was a headache. Jubal called the local postmaster (which got no results), then called Bradley, which caused a «suggestion» to trickle down; thereafter Mike's mail arrived sacked as first, second, third, and fourth class, with mail for everyone else in another sack. Second and third class was used to insulate a root cellar. Once the cellar was over-insulated, Jubal told Duke to use such mail to check erosion in gullies.
Fourth class mail was a problem. One package exploded in the village post office, blowing down several years of «Wanted» announcements and one «Use Next Window» sign — by luck the postmaster was out for coffee and his assistant, an elderly lady with weak kidneys, was in the washroom. Jubal considered having parcels processed by bomb specialists.
This turned out not to be necessary; Mike could spot a «wrongness» about a package without opening it. Thereafter fourth class mail was left at the gate; Mike pried through it from a distance, caused to disappear any harmful parcel; Larry trucked the remainder to the house.
Mike loved opening packages although the plunder might not interest him. Anything nobody wanted wound up in a gully; this included gifts of food, as Jubal was not certain that Mike's nose for «wrongness» extended to poisons — Mike had drunk a poisonous solution used for photography which Duke had left in the refrigerator; Mike said mildly that the «iced tea» had a flavor he was not sure he liked.
Jubal told Jill that it was all right to keep anything provided nothing was (a) paid for, (b) acknowledged, nor (c) returned no matter how marked. Some items were gifts; more was unordered merchandise. Either way, Jubal assumed that unsolicited chattels represented efforts to use the Man from Mars and merited no thanks.
An exception was livestock, which Jubal advised Jill to return — unless she guaranteed care and feeding, and keeping same from falling into the pool.
First class mail was the biggest headache. After looking over a bushel or so, Jubal set up categories:
A. Begging letters — erosion fill.
B. Threatening letters — file unanswered. Later letters from same source — turn over to S.S.
C. Business «opportunities» — forward to Douglas.
