understood. Most of these jokers don't
«Huh? You write a fair stick.»
«Thank you. “Artist” is a word I avoid for the same reason I hate to be called “Doctor”. But I
«Jubal, I'm unhappy.»
«This is news?»
«I've got a fresh set of troubles.» Ben frowned. «I'm not sure I want to talk about them.»
«Then listen to
«
«Hmm, sometime I must tell you about my married life. Yes, I've got troubles. Duke has left — or did you know?»
«I knew.»
«Larry is a good gardener — but the gadgets that run this hogan are falling to pieces. Good mechanics are scarce. Ones that will fit into this household are almost non-existent. I'm limping along on repairmen — every visit a disturbance, all of them with larceny in their hearts, and most of them can't use a screw driver without cutting themselves. Nor can I, so I'm at their mercy.»
«My heart aches for you, Jubal.»
«Never mind the sarcasm. Mechanics and gardeners are convenient; secretaries are essential. Two of mine are pregnant, one is getting married.»
Caxton looked flabbergasted. Jubal growled, «Oh, I'm not telling tales. They're sore because I took you up here without giving them time to boast. So be surprised when they tell you.»
«Uh, which one is getting married?»
«Isn't that obvious? The happy man is that smooth-talking refugee from a sand storm, our esteemed water brother Stinky Mahmoud. I told him that they have to live here whenever they're in this country. Bastard laughed and pointed out that I had invited him to, long ago.» Jubal sniffed. «Wouldn't be so bad if he would. I might get some work out of her.»
«You probably would. She likes to work. The other two are pregnant?»
«Higher 'n a kite. I'm refreshing in O.B. because they say they're going to have 'em at home. What a crimp babies will put in my working habits! But why do you assume that neither turgescent tummy belongs to the bride?»
«Why, I assumed that Stinky was more conventional than that… or more cautious.»
«Stinky wouldn't be given a ballot. Ben, in all the years I have studied this subject, trying to trace the meanderings of their twisty little minds, the only thing I have learned is that when a gal is gonna, she's gonna. All a man can do is cooperate with the inevitable.»
«Well, which one isn't getting married or anything? Miriam? Or Anne?»
«Hold it, I didn't say the bride was pregnant … and you seem to be thinking that Dorcas is the prospective bride. It's Miriam who is studying Arabic.»
«Huh? I'm a cross-eyed baboon!»
«Obviously.»
«But Miriam was always snapping at Stinky — »
«And they trust you with a newspaper column — Ever watch a bunch of sixth-graders?»
«Yes, but — Dorcas did everything but a nautch dance.»
«That is Dorcas's natural behavior. Be sure that when Miriam shows you her ring — size of a roc's egg and about as scarce — act surprised. I'm damned if I'll sort out which are spawning. Just remember that they are pleased… which is why I tipped you off, so that you wouldn't think
«No, but — Jubal, are you under the impression that
«Huh?» Jubal looked startled. «Then who was it?»
«“Don't be nosy, bub.” However, Jill straightened me out when I jumped to the same conclusion. As I understand it, which one scored first was more or less chance.»
«Mmm … yes. I believe so.»
«Jill thinks so. She thinks Mike was lucky in happening to seduce, or be seduced by, the one best fitted to start him off right. Which gives you a hint if you know how Jill's mind works.»
«Hell, I don't even know how
«She doesn't preach much — we'll get to that. Jubal, what do you read from the calendar?»
«Huh?»
«You think Mike did it — in both cases — if his visits home match up.»
Jubal said guardedly, «Ben, I've said nothing to lead you to think so.»
«The hell you haven't. You said they were smug. I know the effect that goddam superman has on women.»
«Hold it, son — he's our water brother.»
Ben said levelly, «I know it — and I love him, too. But that's all the more reason I understand why they are smug.»
Jubal stared at his glass. «Ben, seems to me
«Jubal, you're out of your mind!»
«Take it easy. While I really do so help me by all the Billion Names of God believe in not poking my nose into other people's business, nevertheless I have normal eyesight and hearing. If a brass band parades through my home, I notice. You've slept under this roof dozens of times. Did you ever sleep alone?»
«Why, you scoundrel! Uh, I slept alone the first night I was here.»
«Dorcas must have been off her feed. No, you were under sedative that night — doesn't count. Some other night?»
«Your question is irrelevant, immaterial, and beneath my notice.»
«That's an answer. Please note that the added bedrooms are as far from mine as possible. Soundproofing is never perfect.»
«Jubal, wouldn't
«
«Not to mention Larry and Duke. Jubal, everybody assumes that you are keeping the fanciest harem since the Sultan. Don't misunderstand me — they
Jubal drummed on his chair arm. «Ben, I do not mind being treated flippantly by my juniors. But in this matter I insist that my years be treated with respect.»
«Sorry,» Ben said stiffly. «I thought if it was all right for you to kick my sex life around, you would not mind my being equally frank.»
«No, no, Ben! — you misunderstand. I require the
