The Trial

‘With your patient.’

‘What patient of mine have you been seeing to-day?’ asked Dr. May, much puzzled.

‘Oh, then you consider him as convalescent, and certainly he does seem rational on every other point; but is this one altogether an hallucination?’

‘I have not made out either the hallucination or the convalescent. I beg your pardon,’ said the courteous Doctor; ‘but I cannot understand whom you have seen.’

‘Then is not that young Ward a patient of yours? He gave me to understand to-day that he has been under confinement for three years—’

‘My poor Leonard!’ exclaimed the Doctor; ‘I wish his hair would grow! This is the second time! And did you really never hear of the Blewer murder, and of Leonard Ward?’

Mr. Seaford had some compound edifice of various murders in his mind, and required full enlightenment. Having heard the whole, he was ardent to repair his mistake, both for Leonard’s own sake, and that of his cause. The young man was indeed looking ill and haggard; but there was something in the steady eyes, hollow though they still were, and in the determined cast of features, that strangely impressed the missionary with a sense of his being moulded for the work; and on the first opportunity a simple straightforward explanation of the error was laid before Leonard, with an entreaty that if he had no duties to bind him at home, he would consider the need of labourers in the great harvest of the Southern Seas.

Leonard made no answer save ‘Thank you’ and that he would think. The grave set features did not light up as they had done unconsciously when listening without personal thought; he only looked considering, and accepted Mr. Seaford’s address in Ireland, promising to write after hearing from his brother.

Next morning, Dr. May gave notice that an old patient was coming to see him, and must be asked to luncheon. Leonard soon after told Ethel that he should not be at home till the evening, and she thought he was going to Cocksmoor, by way of avoiding the stranger. In the twilight, however, Dr. May, going up to the station to see his patient off, was astonished to see Leonard emerge from a second-class carriage.

‘You here! the last person I expected.’

‘I have only been to W–- about my teeth.’

‘What, have you been having tooth-ache?’

‘At times, but I have had two out, so I hope there is an end of it.’

‘And you never mentioned it, you Stoic!’

‘It was only at night.’

‘And how long has this been?’

‘Since I had that cold; but it was no matter.’

‘No matter, except that it kept you looking like Count Ugolino, and me always wondering what was the matter with you. And’—detaining him for a moment under the lights of the station—’this extraction must have been a pretty business, to judge by your looks! What did the dentist do to you?’

‘It is not so much that’ said Leonard, low and sadly; ‘but I began to have a hope, and I see it won’t do.’

‘What do you mean, my dear boy? what have you been doing?’

‘I have been into my old cell again,’ said he, under his breath; and Dr. May, leaning on his arm, felt his nervous tremor.

‘Prisoner of the Bastille, eh, Leonard!’

‘I had long been thinking that I ought to go and call on Mr. Reeve and thank him.’

‘But he does not receive calls there.’

‘No,’ said Leonard, as if the old impulse to confidence had returned; ‘but I have never been so happy since, as I was in that cell, and I wanted to see it again. Not only for that reason,’ he added, ‘but something that Mr. Seaford said brought back a remembrance of what Mr. Wilmot told me when my life was granted—something about the whole being preparation for future work—something that made me feel ready for anything. It had all gone from me—all but the remembrance of the sense of a blessed Presence and support in that condemned cell, and I thought perhaps ten minutes in the same place would bring it back to me.’

‘And did they?’

‘No, indeed. As soon as the door was locked, it all went back to July 1860, and worse. Things that were mercifully kept from me then, mere abject terror of death, and of that kind of death—the disgrace—the crowds—all came on me, and with them, the misery all in one of those nine months; the loathing of those eternal narrow waved white walls, the sense of their closing in, the sickening of their sameness, the longing for a voice, the other horror of thinking myself guilty. The warder said it was ten minutes—I thought it hours! I was quite done for, and could hardly get down-stairs. I knew the spirit was being crushed out of me by the solitary period, and it is plain that I must think of nothing that needs nerve or presence of mind!’ he added, in a tone of quiet dejection.

‘You are hardly in a state to judge of your nerve, after sleepless nights and the loss of your teeth. Besides, there is a difference between the real and imaginary, as you have found; you who, in the terrible time of real anticipation, were a marvel in that very point of physical resolution.’

‘I could keep thoughts out then,’ he said; ‘I was master of myself.’

‘You mean that the solitude unhinged you? Yet I always found you brave and cheerful.’

‘The sight of you made me so. Nay, the very sight or sound of any human being made a difference! And now you all treat me as if I had borne it well, but I did not. It was all that was left me to do, but indeed I did not.’

‘What do you mean by bearing it well?’ said the Doctor, in the tone in which he would have questioned a patient.

‘Living—as—as I thought I should when I made up my mind to life instead of death,’ said Leonard; ‘but all that