his fears.
She did not think he had any; she did not believe that he had ever seen quite as well as other people, and therefore trusted to sight less than most; and his eyes had been so often ailing, and then better, that he was not likely to take alarm now. If he had, she believed he would have told her, for he was very confidential with her, and she often thought it a great pity that no one else had thought it worth while to enter into him enough to find out what a right-thinking, sensible boy he was, and how affectionate he would be if they would only let him. One day, when they had been taking a long ride together, he began talking about his intentions for the future. It arose out of some observation about the value of a tree in a new and an old country. Marian had been lamenting that no modern houses were ever built with the beautiful patterns of dark timbers, as we see them in old farm-houses; and Lionel answering that so much wood could never be afforded in England now.
'No, you must go to a primeval forest for that,' said Marian; 'and very stupid it is of the people in the colonies to build houses as bad or worse than ours, when they have all the materials for nothing.'
'Well, I will build a famous house when I emigrate,' said Lionel; 'a regular model of an old English farm-house it shall be,--stout, and strong, and handsome,--just to put the people in mind that they do belong to an old country, after all.'
'When you emigrate, Lionel?'
'Yes, I really have a great mind to do so, seriously, Marian,' and he rode nearer to her. 'I do think it would be the best thing I could do. Don't you think so?'
'I don't know,' said Marian, considering, while his eager face was turned towards her.
'You see,' Lionel continued, 'we must all do something for ourselves; and I am sure my eyes will never be fit for study. To be a clergyman is out of the question for me, even if I was good enough; and so is the law--'
'Yes, yes, certainly.'
'Well, then, there is only the army, and there one can't get on without money. Now you know Elliot has been a monstrous expense to my father of late, and the times have grown so bad, and everything altogether has gone wrong; so that I think the only thing for it would be for me to go off to some new part of the world, where, when I once had a start, my own head and hands would maintain me,--no thanks to anybody.'
'I dare say it would,' said Marian, rather sadly, 'I am sure these are right grounds, Lionel; but it is a terrible severing of all home ties.'
'O, but I should come back again. I should be an Englishman still, and come back when I had made my fortune.'
'O, Lionel, don't be in a hurry to make a fortune; that spoils every one.'
'No, no, I am not going to grasp and grub for money; I hate that. Only if the fortune comes, one does not know how, with cattle, or horses, or lands--O, Marian, think of being an Australian stockman, riding after those famous jockeys of wild bulls--hurra!' Lionel rose in his stirrups, and flourished his whip round his head, so as greatly to amaze his steed. 'There is a life to lead in a great place bigger than all Europe, instead of being stifled up in this little bit of a poky England, every profession choke full of people!'
'Well done, Lionel, you do want a field indeed!'
'So I do. I hate to be fenced up, and in, every way. I should like to break out in some fresh place, and feel I had all the world before me! Then I'll tell you what, Marian,' and he spoke with infinite relish, 'suppose matters got a little worse here, and they were all of them really in distress!'
'O Lionel!'
'Well, but listen. Then I should like to come home with all this fortune that I had made somehow, and get them all on their legs again; buy back the estate, perhaps, and give it to papa again; and then--and then'--his voice quivered a little, and his eyes winked, as if the sun had dazzled them--'see if mamma would not think me worth something, after all!'
