known her own mind. Poor Caroline wept bitterly, beseeching that they might not part in anger, but he disavowed all irritation, and took a cold, courteous leave, which wounded her more than all.
Marian could not easily sympathise with regrets for such a lover, but she liked to magnify the sacrifice in order to admire it more, and greatly rejoiced in being able to give full admiration to one whom she had learnt to love so heartily as Caroline. Such a triumph over natural timidity and feebleness of character was indeed a great and gallant thing, and Marian used to muse and wonder at it in her solitary hours. There was still much to suffer externally as well as internally; there was the return of letters and presents, with all their associations; there was the feeling of the pain and offence given to Lady Julia and her daughters; there was the perception of the opinions of the world, and the certainty that all the gossips of the neighbourhood were busy with their conjectures; there was the continued anxiety about Elliot, and the marked vexation and displeasure of Mrs. Lyddell, who treated Caroline as one who had disappointed all her best hopes.
Under all this there was only Marian to sustain Caroline, and their friendship was an additional offence. Marian knew that Mrs. Lyddell regarded her as the head of a hostile party, and a sower of dissension in the family, by no means an agreeable footing on which to stand; but the only way, was to appear completely unconscious, and behave as far as possible as usual. She was grateful to them for making it no worse, and still more for not having objected to her continuing her rides with Lionel, from whom, it may well be believed, she scarcely ever took her eyes, from the time his foot was in the stirrup.
Lionel was triumphant at the dismissal of 'Julian the apostate,' but he was disappointed to find that Caroline did not recover her spirits 'now she had had her own way, and got rid of the man.' He did not like to have her presence announced by a sigh, and to hear the subdued, dejected tone of her voice, and he used to wonder over it with Marian, who laughed at him for fancying it was such an easy matter to part with a lover, yet agreed that it was hard to understand how there could be love where there was no esteem. Lionel used to consult her as to what was to be done to cheer his sister, since his mother would only make everything worse and he could not bear her continued melancholy.
'I do believe, Lionel,' said Marian, 'that you could do more for her than any body else. If you would but sometimes let her do things for you, ask her to help you, as--as you ask me.'
Lionel would not take the suggestion as she wished. 'I thought you liked to help me,' said he, in a somewhat offended tone.
'O, don't I?' cried Marian, eagerly; 'but so does every one, if you would only allow them.'
Lionel flourished the little switch in his hand till it made an ill-tempered '_swish!_' and Marian knew that he thought her ungrateful for the exclusive preference with which he honoured her.
'She is your sister,' she added.
'Very well,' said Lionel, crossly shaking off her arm, 'I shall know what to be at, if you are tired of helping me.'
He could not see the tears in her eyes, and though she was extremely grieved, her voice did not betray how strong her feeling was. 'Tired! O Lionel, how can you think it? But would it not be better to learn to depend less on me against I go away?'
'Ay, and glad enough you'll be to go.'
'For all but your sake and poor Caroline's,' said Marian. 'Mrs. Lyddell does not like to have me here.'
'It would not be fair to want to keep you,' said Lionel, 'but----'
'I should have much more comfort in going if I thought you and Caroline were helping each other,' said Marian. 'I know she wants to make you her first object.'
Lionel made no answer nor any change in his ways for some days, yet sometimes it seemed, as if when he thought of it, he was more willing to allow Caroline to do him some of the small services which his fast increasing blindness rendered necessary. Caroline being more dexterous and neat-handed than Marian, did them well, and then Marian was vexed with herself for a few feelings like annoyance at not being equally necessary to Lionel, but she persevered, encouraged by seeing the comfort that each approach on his part seemed to give his sister. It was the hardest thing Marian had ever had to do, to give up the being first
