I think I’m having a nervous breakdown.
I get overwhelmed about not only getting to play my song at the Senior Showcase, but getting the last spot, with the band.
Then I’m not even allowed to celebrate it because I basically dress Sophie down in front of the entire school.
So I do what I’ve been really good at doing lately, which is cry uncontrollably.
And then I insult Ethan.
Clearly, there is something wrong with me.
But Ethan, being Ethan, either doesn’t notice it or is too nice to say anything about it.
All I know is that I can’t lose another friend. And Ethan, unlike Sophie, is a true friend. I know that he cheats on his girlfriends and does some pretty stupid things, but he’s always been there for me.
And I need him more than ever, now that we have to focus on the showcase and college auditions.
Jack bursts through the door with a shopping bag. “Costume time!”
We’re playing our last gig of the year and are going to do some Christmas songs, so Jack thought it would be appropriate for us to be as festive as possible. He hands Ethan a Santa jacket, Ben some elf ears, me tinsel, and keeps a Santa hat for himself.
He looks in the mirror. “Man, I make anything look hot!”
We all groan. I start wrapping myself up in the tinsel.
Jack comes over to study me. “You’d make one fine gift under the tree, Red. Don’t you think so, Ethan?”
Ethan freezes with his jacket halfway on. “Um, sure?”
“‘Um, sure?’” Jack makes a face. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m trying to figure out why we all have to wear something idiotic and all you have to do is put on a hat?”
Ben takes that as his cue to debate with Jack over why he has to be an elf. There’s a knock on the door and I can’t believe it when I see who it is.
“Carter!” I run over and give him a hug. “I thought you weren’t coming back for two more weeks.”
“Change of plans. I didn’t want to miss Christmas in New York.” He gives me a tight squeeze and then greets everybody in the room.
“Nice ears,” he says to Ben.
“That’s it!” Ben throws the ears down. “I am
Ben and Jack start to argue again about the costumes.
Carter comes over to me. “Yikes, didn’t realize that was going to set him off.”
“It doesn’t take much with those two.”
Ethan shakes Carter’s hand. “Hey, man, did you hear who the spotlight performance for the showcase went to?”
Carter’s eyes get wide. “Aw, that’s amazing! Congrats, you guys!”
He pats me on the back.
Ethan shakes his head. “No, the band is second to last. It’s Emme. Solo.”
Carter picks me up. “Emme, I’m so proud of you! Tell me everything.”
I go to a corner and sit down with Carter and fill him in on everything that happened with Sophie.
“Ah, gotta love karma. What goes around, comes around,” Carter says.
“I guess….” I don’t want to think about Sophie anymore. “YOU need to tell me everything! How was Italy?”
Carter gushes, “Amazing. We went to all these art museums and I ate so much pasta. It was a goal Mom and I had — to eat pasta and gelato every day. She’s already signed up for some master cleanse the day after Christmas. But we had a lot of fun and I loved that not once did I get recognized. For the first time in my life, nobody cared who I was. My only movies that are shown over there are from when I was really young, so I was just a guy with his mom. I’ve never had that before.”
Carter looks so relaxed and happy. He never really appeared to be miserable, but I think before it was an act and now it’s real.
He continues. “So I bought a ton of art books abroad and have been really inspired to paint. I’m going to start working with a tutor to take the GED in a couple months, then art school.”
“That’s great, Carter. I’m really proud of you.”
He nods to himself. “Thanks. Me, too. I can’t believe how much things have changed in the last couple of months. Who knows, maybe someday you’ll be coming to one of my art openings! Crazier things have happened.”
I laugh. Certainly, out of everything that has transpired since the beginning of school, Carter holding an art exhibition would be considered extremely normal.
“Guys!” Jack gets up and starts jumping up and down. “We got five minutes.”
Carter excuses himself and the four of us get in a circle.
We put our arms around each other and Jack leans in for what’s supposed to be a pep talk, but he usually ends up insulting each of us. “Okay, our last Christmas gig. Ethan’s sober, so that’s an improvement over last year…. Red is going to rock her guitar solo, although try to not make the rest of us look so inferior, O Red One…. Ben, you look adorable in your elf ears.”
Our hands go into the center.
Jack shouts out, “
“Jack sucks!” The three of us shout back.
“Aww, come on, where’s the love?”
We all walk out to the stage with Jack shouting, “Forget about your presents now!”
There’s no way we aren’t going to get our presents from Jack.
After the show, the four of us head to Ethan’s house, and Jack makes a big to-do about our presents. We each open our gifts to find a framed, near life-size photo of Jack’s face.
“I know you guys are going to miss me….” His smile fades at the words.
The rest of us exchange presents. I got each of the guys a personalized leather notebook filled with sheet music.
“For when you get inspired and aren’t near a computer.”
“You’re so old-school, Red!” Jack gives me a kiss on the cheek.
Ethan comes up to me. “Hey, Emme, your gift is on its way. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t even worry about it.” Ethan always goes a little over the top with gifts. I’m usually embarrassed by my present in comparison, so I’m somewhat grateful that I don’t need to feel guilty tonight.
He hands Jack and Ben their presents. Jack unwraps personalized drumsticks with his name and a logo that Trevor designed, while Ben receives designer guitar picks and a matching guitar strap.
“My turn!” Ben hands us each a square box. We untie the bright red and green ribbon to find another notebook. “Look inside.”
I open the front cover and gasp. “It’s the first picture taken of us.” I start flipping through and it is filled with flyers, set lists, ticket stubs of all our concerts.
I don’t want to cry … again. Especially in front of the guys. I hate to be the stereotype of the girl of the group.
“This is awesome….” I hear Jack’s voice crack. “Got something in my eye.” He wipes away a tear and gives Ben a big bear hug.
The four of us start reminiscing as we go through the scrap-book. The dives we’ve played in, the technical difficulties, the
“Well, ladies … and Ethan” — Jack gets up from the couch — “I’ve got my hot girlfriend waiting for me.”
“I’ll share a taxi with you.” Ben grabs his jacket.
I stand up. “I probably should head out.”
“Emme, there’s all this cake left.” Ethan motions toward the half-eaten chocolate cake on the coffee
