want such a long-term relationship?
Do you often feel dissatisfied in your romantic relationships?
Have you given up adventures and self-betterment through travel, schooling, and so on, because you didn’t want to be away from a romantic interest or the possibility of male attention?
If you answered yes to at least half (five) of these questions, you likely have loose-girl behavior.
CRITERIA FOR SEX AND LOVE ADDICTION
Addiction experts have identified the following criteria. If you answer yes to all or most of these, you likely have addictive romantic behavior.
• Loss of time with family members, hobbies, and friends
• An experience of being “high” followed by secrecy and shame
• Negative consequences (which may include health problems and financial problems)
• Obsessive preoccupation with the relationship or sex
• Attempts to stop your behavior (or obsession) fail and bring considerable irritability and distress
• Your behavior becomes riskier and more intense
The Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous website has a forty-question self-assessment to determine whether you have the signs of sex and love addiction (www.slaafws.org/download/core- files/The_40_Questions_of_SLAA.pdf).
—From Kelly McDaniel,
WORKSHEETS AND EXERCISES
The following provides cognitive-behavioral approaches to build awareness about and to treat loose-girl behavior.
When a boy loves me, that means I am _______________.
When I don’t have a boy wanting me, I believe I am _______________.
When I am needy, I do _______________, and believe I am _______________.
Hold on to the first list set below, and after every encounter with a boy, rewrite a new list set based on what happened. Compare the lists to see what you want versus what you actually get.
When I engage sexually with a boy, I want most
1. for example, to believe I’m desirable
2.
3.
4.
5.
When I engage sexually with a boy, I actually get
1. for example, momentary physical attention
2.
3.
4.
5.
Use the following chart to track events that trigger loose-girl behavior:
With your therapist, review what you might have done differently in each situation.
Use the following chart to track thoughts that trigger loose-girl behavior:
With your therapist, determine how your false beliefs set off loose-girl behavior and how you might better deal with those damaging thoughts.
RESOURCES
The site gURL.com is for teenage girls. It includes honest content about sexuality and sexual health, including advice from other teens and stores of information about various sex topics. The site has a membership option so girls can give their own advice and talk to one another on the “Shout Out” boards.
Planned Parenthood is well known internationally as a frank, accessible provider of reproductive health care, women’s health information, and sex education. A section of the Planned Parenthood website is devoted to teen sexual health and information.
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is similar to twelve-step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous in that it is based in religion and service to God. The site lists meetings and numerous resources, including a “test” to determine whether you likely qualify as a sex and/or love addict. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous does not provide
