faith, but everyone should be buried-he didn't want to be cremated, did he?'
'Not that I know.'
'Okay. Then maybe I should do it. My church would help.'
'How long exactly has it been since you saw Dr. Mate?'
She touched her finger to her upper lip. 'Twenty-five years and… four months. Since right after my son was born-his son. Eldon Junior, he goes by Donny. Eldon didn't like Donny-didn't like kids. He was honest about that, told me right at the beginning, but I figured he was just talking, once he had his own he'd change his mind. So I got pregnant anyway. And what do you think? Eldon left me.'
'But he supported you financially.'
'Not really,' she said. 'You can't call five hundred a month support-I always worked. But he did send it every month, money order, right on the dot, I'll give him that. Only, this month I didn't get it. It was due five days ago, I have to figure out who to talk to at the army. It was an army reserve pension, they need to send it directly to me now. You have any idea how to contact them?'
'I might be able to get you a number,' said Milo. 'During the twenty-five years, how often did you and Dr. Mate communicate?'
'We didn't. He just sent the money. I used to think it was because he felt guilty. About walking out. But now I know he probably didn't. For guilt you got to have faith, out or habit, I don't know. When his mother was alive he used to send her money. Instead of visiting. He was always one for habits-doing things the same exact way, every single time. One color shirt, one color pants. He said it left time for important things.'
'Like what?'
She shrugged. Her eyes fluttered and she began to sway. Began to fall. Both Milo and I took hold of her shoulders.
'I'm okay,' she said, shrugging us off angrily. Smoothing her dress, as if we'd messed it. 'Got a little low blood sugar, that's all, no big deal, I just got to eat. I brought food from home, but in the bus station someone stole my Tupperware.' The black eyes lifted to Milo. 'I want to eat something.'
We drove her to a coffee shop on Santa Monica near La Brea. Dulled gold booths, streaked windows, fried- bacon air, the clash and clatter of silverware scooped into gray plastic tubs by sleepy busboys who looked underage. Milo chose the usual cop's vantage point at the back of the restaurant. The nearest patrons were a pair of CalTrans workers inhaling the daily steak-and-eggs special heralded by a front-door banner. Loss leader; the price belonged to the fifties. Unlikely to cover the cost of slaughter.
Guillerma Mate ordered a double cheeseburger, fries and a Diet Dr Pepper. Milo told the waitress, 'Ham on rye, potato salad, coffee.'
The ambience was doing nothing for my appetite, but I'd put nothing in my stomach since the morning coffee and I asked for a roast-beef dip on French roll, wondering if the meat had Been carved from the budget cows.
The food came quickly. My beef dip was lukewarm and rubbery, and from the way Milo picked, his order was no better. Guillerma Mate ate lustily while trying to maintain dignity, cutting her burger up into small pieces and forking morsels into her mouth with an assembly-line pace. Finishing the sandwich, she forked french fries one at a time, consuming every greasy stick.
She wiped her mouth. Sipped Dr Pepper through two straws. 'I feel better. Thanks.'
'Pleasure, ma'am.'
'So who killed Eldon?' she said.
'I wish I knew. This pension-'
'He had two, but I only get one-the five hundred from the reserves. The big one for a couple thousand from the Public Health Service he kept for himself. I don't think I coulda gotten more out of him. We weren't even divorced and he was giving me money.' She edged closer across the table. 'Did he make more?'
'Ma'am?'
'You know, from all the killing he did?'
'What do you think of all the killing he did?'
'What do I think? Disgusting. Mortal sin-that's why I don't go by his name. Had everything changed back to Salcido-he wasn't even a doctor when we were married. Went to medical school after he walked out. Went down in Mexico, because he was too old for anyplace else. I have friends up in Oakland who know we were married. At my church. But I keep it quiet. It's embarrassing. Some of them used to tell me to go get a lawyer, Eldon's rich now, I could get more out of him. I told them it would be sin money. They said I should take it anyway, give it to the church. I don't know about that-did he leave a will?'
'We haven't found one yet.'
'So that means I have to go through that thing- probate.'
Milo didn't answer.
'Actually,' she said, 'we did talk in the beginning, Eldon and me. Right after he walked out. But just a few times. Donny and me were in San Diego, and Eldon wasn't that far, down in Mexico. Then, after he became a doctor, he went up to Oakland to work in a hospital and I did a real stupid thing: I took Donny and we went there, too. I don't know what I coulda been thinking, maybe now that he was a doctor-it was stupid, but there I was with a boy who didn't even know his father.'
'Oakland didn't work out?' I said.
'Oakland worked out, I'm still there. But Eldon didn't work out. He wouldn't talk to Donny, wouldn't even pick him up, look at him. I remember it like yesterday, Eldon in his white coat-that scared Donny and he started screaming, Eldon got mad and yelled at me to get the brat out of there-the whole thing just fell apart.'
She picked at a scrap of lettuce. 'I called him a couple more times after that. He wasn't interested. Refused to visit. Donny's being born just turned him off like a faucet. So I moved across the bridge to San Francisco, got a job. Funny thing is, a few years later I was back to Oakland 'cause the rent was cheaper, but by that time Eldon was gone and the checks were coming from Arizona, he had some kind of government job doing I don't know what. Back then's when I thought of getting a lawyer.'
'Any reason you didn't file for divorce?' I said.
'Why bother?' she said. 'There was no other man I wanted to know, and Eldon was sending me his army pension. You know how it is.'
'How is it?' said Milo.
'You don't make a move in the beginning, nothing happens. He sent the check every month, that was enough for me. Then when he started in on that killing business, I knew I was lucky he'd left. Who'd want to live with that? I mean, when I heard about that I got sick, really sick. I remember the first time. I saw it on TV. Eldon standing there-I hadn't seen him in years and now he was on the TV. Looking older, balder but the same face, the same voice. Bragging about what he did. I thought, He's finally gone a hundred percent crazy. The next day I was on the phone, changing my name on the Social Security and everything else I could find.'
'So you never talked to him about his new career?'
'Didn't talk to him about anything,' she said. 'Didn't I just say that?' She shoved her plate away. Pulled more soda through the straws, let the brown liquid drop like the bubble in a carpenter's level before it reached her lips.
'Even if it was making him real rich, how would it look if suddenly I showed up wanting more?' She touched the handle of her butter knife. 'That was filthy money. I been working my whole life, doing just fine- tell me, did he get rich from the killing?'
'Doesn't look like it,' said Milo.
'So what was the point?'
'He claimed he was helping people.'
'The devil claims he's an angel. Back when I knew Eldon, he wasn't interested in helping anyone but himself.'
'Selfish?' I said.
'You bet. Always in his own world, doing what he wanted. Which was reading, always reading.'
'Why'd you come down here, ma'am?' said Milo.
She held her hands out, as if expecting a gift. Her palms were scrubbed pale, crisscrossed by brown hatch marks. 'I told you. I just thought I should-I guess I was curious.'
'About what?'
