‘Don’t worry, we just pass the stuff on to another hut and they somehow make sense of it all.’ Hari doubted her ability for the job but she paid attention just the same and as the day wore on she found she was actually enjoying the challenge of it.
That night Cecily came into dinner at the guest house. Her face was blotched, her skin mottled with weeping. Babs immediately hugged her and patted her back as if she was a distressed child.
‘It’s confirmed then?’ Babs spoke so softly Hari could scarcely hear her.
‘He went down in the sea, in flames. No hope of survivors, none at all.’ Cecily forced the words between her trembling lips. ‘Oh God, why did I fall in love with a pilot—I must be mad?’
Hari thought of Kate and her tangled love life, her men—one in the army, one in the airforce—and both of them coming home alive. Life could be so cruel and death so arbitrary. Her heart felt as if it were beating its way out of her chest as she thought of Michael in Germany perhaps fighting on the side of the enemy.
After a while at hut six Hari felt she was beginning to get used to the work. She was playing a small, very small, part in decrypting messages from the awesome Enigma machine. She found she was enjoying the company of the other girls, the sharing of pleasures, the sharing also of grief. She told Babs that her Michael was missing but she couldn’t explain further, it was all far too complicated. What would the girls think if they knew Michael was half German and married to her little sister?
Eventually, she had her own machine and she sat timidly before it staring at the strange keys that could offer permutations of messages beyond measure.
It was men like Alan Turing—a strangely private man—along with his talented colleagues, who had the impossible work of finding the key to the day’s ciphers and Hari saw them only from a distance. She and Babs and all the girls in hut six were ants in comparison.
And then she had a phone call; it was from Colonel Edwards. ‘You’d better come home, I’ve heard from your sister. Don’t worry, everything is well, but come home at once.’
Was this his way of bringing her back to Swansea or did he really have intelligence about Meryl? Her trembling nerves got the better of her and she covered her face with her hands. And was there any news about Michael?
Forty
Kate sat in the doctor’s waiting room hands folded in her lap. Everything was fine, the baby, Stephen’s baby, was growing normally and the scars looked as if they would hold for another birth. If not, the doctor said, Kate could have the child by Caesarean section.
She heard the door open and lifted her head. Hilda had come to fetch her. She heard Teddy snuffle, he had a cold and he started snivelling when he saw Kate and bumped against her legs. She held him, took out her handkerchief and by some instinct found his nose.
They went outside. ‘Everything’s fine,’ Kate said, afraid to voice her real thoughts that she wished the baby would slip away. It was such a betrayal carrying Stephen’s baby in her womb when her real love had come home to her.
‘Teddy’s caught Eddie’s cold,’ Hilda said unnecessarily. ‘Eddie’s gone to bed, sent in a sick note to work, he’ll be laid up for at least a week. You know what babies men are.’
Kate felt Hilda stiffen at her side.
‘Hello, Kate.’ It was Stephen, his voice was kind, concerned, there was pain underlying every word. Kate tried to smile. She held out her hand and Stephen took it.
‘The doctor said the baby is fine.’ She hoped she sounded reassuring. ‘I’m fine too. There could be trouble with my scars but if there is they’ll operate, nothing to worry about.’
Stephen coughed as though to hide his feelings. ‘Can I give you a lift home?’
‘You’ve got a car, you must be doing well,’ Kate said.
‘Now I’m no longer able to fly I’m no great use to the force. I’ve set up a new business but I can tell you about that another time, let me give you a lift home, the rain is getting heavy.’
Kate was going to refuse but Teddy began to cry.
‘Car,’ he said, ‘I want to go in car.’
‘All right,’ Kate said humbly and let Stephen hand her into a soft back seat. Huffing and puffing, Hilda sat beside her with Teddy on her lap.
‘It’s very kind of you I’m sure.’ Her tone was not cordial. ‘Perhaps you’d like a cup of tea or something when we get back?’
Kate knew what the invitation had cost Hilda. She liked Stephen, was grateful to him, even, for supporting them all the time Eddie was away, but now her son had returned and she had every mother’s protective instincts where her own were concerned.
‘I would very much like to—’ Stephen must have caught Kate’s tiny shake of the head—‘but I’m afraid I’m busy today.’
He drove on in silence and Kate felt like a traitor. She had married in haste, for the best reason in the world —to give her son a decent future—but now she was paying a terrible price.
Stephen left them at the door and, for a moment, Kate touched his hand. ‘Thank you for your kindness,’ she said softly. ‘I’ll keep in touch about the baby, I promise.’
She heard him sigh. ‘I was so happy there, for a while, Kate… you, and my baby on the way—what more could a man want?’
‘I’m sorry, Stephen, I do love you, in a way, but Eddie is my…’
‘Don’t say any more—’ Stephen’s voice was suddenly harsh—‘I don’t think I can bear to hear it. Look after yourself and my child, that’s all I ask of you.’
Kate felt her way into the house and the warmth of the kitchen reached out to her. She could smell tea, hear it being poured into cups. She sank down into a chair and burst into tears.
Hilda held her. ‘There, there, life’s been hard on you girl but remember one thing, you have a lot of people who love you, that’s worth more than gold any day.’
What Hilda said was right but why then did Kate feel such a desperate pain, finding it so hard to come to terms with the awful situation she was in? Two men, two children; such tangled lives. She sighed. Why was she worrying, tomorrow they could all be dead.
Forty-One
I was at home in the German farmhouse alone. I had a week’s leave from the radio control room and I was glad to be out from under Frau Hoffman’s beady eye for a few days. Her last words to me as I left were: ‘When do you intend to provide some fine sons to fight for the fatherland?’
‘As soon as you do.’ I knew at once it was unwise of me to say that. Frau Hoffman’s face darkened and she stared at me with her cold eyes that would freeze a sea over, if there had been a sea anywhere near us.
She raised her hand and slapped my face hard and I had to bite my lip and apologize. ‘I am sorry, Frau Hoffman, that was rude of me.’
‘Go!’
I went. Now I was alone in the farmhouse wondering why I could not stop my sharp answers even now when I was in such a precarious position.
I looked out into the yard and saw the few chickens stalking about as if they owned the world. They must be German chickens, I giggled to myself. And then I thought of Michael, my love—how could I be against the race that had reared my darling man? Michael would be home on leave in a few days and my heart did a flip of joy.
‘
I looked again at the chickens; if I wanted to eat I would have to kill one of them. I shuddered. I’d reluctantly
