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Fault finding is another sure way to ruin success. If you find fault in others, you give away your power. If all the grime is on the other side of the window, you have to wait for someone over on that side to clean it up before you get a clear view. Do you really have the time or the desire to sit there looking at dirt until someone else takes action?
Let’s be honest for a moment. There is something about human nature that makes us feel momentarily very good when we shift the blame to someone else. Your tax guy screwed up the accounting numbers, and that’s why you’re being audited. It’s not your fault! Whew. Nevertheless, you’re still going to owe the government a huge fee when it all gets straightened out.
If a big rock sits in the middle of your road to success, it really doesn’t matter who put it there. You’re not going to get to your ultimate goal until you move it. Stop worrying about where to put the blame, and start working on a solution. That is how you achieve success.
Have you ever taken responsibility for something that wasn’t your fault? If you haven’t, give it a try. It’s a strangely powerful feeling. Taking the high road and working on a solution feels ten times better than shifting the blame to someone else. Your assignment is to reduce the number of times you find fault in others and increase the occasions when you take responsibility and take action.
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Katy felt like she had run into a brick wall on her road to success. She was in a midlevel corporate job, and she didn’t feel like she had a lot of respect from her underlings or her superiors. She was stuck and having difficulty building her success.
What Katy did to become unstuck was revolutionary. Instead of concentrating on her personal achievement and finding ways to stick out as an individual, she started to take a critical look at how she worked with others. Katy realized that she was very seldom willing to meet people halfway. She did not like compromise. If she had a great idea for a new project, she tended to have a take-it-or-leave-it attitude about the whole thing. She discounted any new concepts that her coworkers tried to add to the plan, because they didn’t mesh completely with her vision.
Once Katy was aware of this character trait, she started to practice compromise. She intently listened to new ideas and worked to incorporate the suggestions of others into a common solution. Suddenly, she wasn’t stuck anymore. Katy started to shoot up the corporate ladder, and she also gained the respect of others in her company. They began to view Katy as a collaborator instead of a dictator.
Is there something you can take away from Katy’s experience? Are you good at meeting people halfway, or do you have more of a take-it-or-leave-it attitude? What can you practice today that will bring compromise into your life as a tool for success?
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Yesterday you read a bit about the positive side of compromise. However, there is also a negative side to consider. It would be far too easy to say that compromise as a general rule is a great idea. It isn’t all the time.
A compromise is usually a settlement of differences where each party makes some concessions to meet in the middle and find a common solution. It is also thought to be the halfway point between two extremes. It is the balancing point. On the other hand, compromise is a negative when it has to do with giving in to the pressures of others. For instance, it’s usually not a great idea to compromise your principles.
Do you compromise even when it comes to the things that you feel very passionately about? Have you ever compromised your ethical or spiritual beliefs?
Come up with some personal examples of compromise—good and bad—and write about them in your journal today. Think about the areas where you are willing to compromise and the areas where your ideas and beliefs are very strong and you would not be willing to compromise. It is very important for you to know where you stand on these issues. If you have a fervent belief, then it’s okay if you’re not willing to compromise. Maybe the strength of your convictions will draw people to your views. That is a leadership quality, as well.
