239
When a pot of water comes to a boil on the stove, you take it off the heat. You need to do the same thing when your temper starts to boil. Remove yourself from a heated situation.
One great way to diffuse your anger is to take a walk. It’s healthy, and it helps you get away from conditions that are making you angry. Get out into the fresh air and breathe. Remember your priorities in life and gauge where this incident ranks in the big scheme of things. Also, when you go on a long walk you will have time to calm down a bit and think through the reasons for your anger. Are they justified? Or are you angry because your pride is just a little hurt?
Anger boils up quickly, but it often takes time to cool down. Give yourself that time. You don’t want to lose your right to rational thought. If you let your anger get the better of you and take action when your temper flares, you give away your power. Unleashing your anger may feel powerful at the time, but displaying a temper is never truly powerful. It usually comes across as reckless, irresponsible, and childish. Do you want to use those adjectives to describe yourself?
Your assignment is to practice positive remedies for anger. When your temper boils over, take a walk. Also, start keeping a list of other actions you can take to detour your anger. Keep that list close by. You never know when you’ll need it!
240
Cliff was a top-level executive at an insurance firm. To say that he often had to deal with personality issues, particularly with his own employees, was an understatement. Nevertheless, Cliff never lost his cool. How did he do it?
He did not succumb to the “I’m running a daycare, not an office” theory that many top executives in large corporations admit to believing. Instead, he maintained his composure and found ways to help people come together, build on their strengths, and act like adults. He was a very successful leader.
You may be surprised to find out that part of Cliff’s success was due to one very simple practice. He wrote letters and emails that he never mailed. In fact, he didn’t even save them. When an employee did something that really sent Cliff’s blood pressure through the roof, he sat down at his computer and fired off an angry letter. Then he hit the delete key. Cliff found a way to release his anger without imposing it on other people. It’s just not helpful in most cases, and he knew that. On the other hand, he had to find some way to release the tension. After he unleashed his anger in a way that did not offend, he was able to look at the problem rationally and find a better solution.
Your assignment today is to add this tactic to your list of remedies for anger. Give it a try if the opportunity presents itself sometime during the day. Just remember never to send that letter, because if you do, you’ll have a lot of cleaning up to do later. Hurt feelings take a very long time to mend.
241
We often talk about habits in a negative way. You want to get rid of a smoking habit; you need to change the habit of eating fast food for lunch every day; or you have a bad habit of biting your nails. For the next few days we’re going to turn that around and talk about forming good habits. These are routines you can sink into—even get stuck in—that will actually help you on the road to success rather than impede your progress.
The best place to start is with one of the biggest gurus of forming good habits, the author of The Seven Habits
