But she could do it. She had to do it. Dont think about how frightened shed been. She had done good work tonight. Fiske was hers.
She stepped beneath the hot spray of the shower and let the water run over her. God, she felt dirty. Just being in the same car with that filthy murderer had made her feel contaminated.
But she was a murderer too.
Not like him. She would not see herself in the same light as that beast.
Dont think about him. She closed her eyes and commanded her muscles to relax. This was her mo-ment. Enjoy it. She had very little time to herself. She almost wished she were free like Eve Duncan.
What are you doing now, Eve Duncan? Is it as hard for you as it is for me? She leaned her head against the wall of the shower and whispered, Where are you, Eve?
Fiske would find her. Fiske would kill her and Lisa would be safe. Why was there no comfort in that thought?
Lisa? Kevin was outside the bathroom door.
Dammit, couldnt they let her have one moment alone? Coming. She stepped out of the shower and dried her tears. Christ, what was wrong with her? Fiske must have shaken her more than she could have believed. She slipped on her robe, zipping it up to the chin, then ran a brush through her hair.
Smile. Be warm and sympathetic. Dont let him see, dont let any of them see. She swung open the door and kissed Kevin on the cheek. Now, whats so important that you couldnt wait to tell me?
This isnt a very nice motel. I think there are bugs, Bonnie said
Eve turned over in bed We had to find a place that was unobtrusive. Bugs shouldnt make any difference to you. Youre ectoplasm, remember?
Bonnie smiled Anything that makes a difference to you makes a difference to me. You always hated bugs. She settled herself in the chair next to the bed I remember how you yelled at the exterminator when he didnt do a good job getting rid of the roaches in my room.
That had been the summer before Bonnie had disappeared.
Bonnies smile faded Oh, dear, I didnt mean to re-mind you of anything sad
Did it ever occur to you that your coming to me automatically reminds me of something sad?
Yes, but Im hoping someday youll realize that Im always with you.
Youre not with me.
Why are you trying to hurt yourself ? Just accept me, Mama. She changed the subject. You did a good job on Ben but, then, I knew you would.
So now you knew who it was all the time?
No, I keep telling you that I dont know every-thing. Just sometimes I get a feeling.
Like about the bugs in this crummy motel room? Thats pretty safe.
Bonnie giggled. It is, isnt it?
Eve found herself smiling. It was my first thought when I came into the room.
And you think Im using that? Bonnie clucked re-provingly. How suspicious you are, Mama.
Then tell me something I dont know. Tell me where you are.
Bonnie tucked one leg beneath her. I like Mr. Logan. I wasnt sure at first, but I think hes a good man.
Whoever said ghosts have good judgment.
Bonnie smiled slyly. Progress. Thats the first time you admitted I might not be your imagination.
The judgment of figments of imagination are questionable too.
Well, your judgment is pretty shaky too. You shouldnt be so hard on Joe.
Im not condemning Joe.
Yes, you are. Because of me. But hes a good man too, and he cares about you. Dont push him away.
Im very tired, Bonnie.
And you want me to go away
Never. Never go away. I want you to stop preaching at me.
Okay I just dont want you to be left alone. Her smile faded. Its dangerous for you to be alone now. Im afraid of all the bad things that are coming.
What bad things?
Bonnie shook her head
I can handle them.
You think you can handle anything because of what you went through with me. Maybe you can. But maybe you cant.
And maybe I dont want to handle them, she said wearily. Maybe I just want to let things happen. God, Im so tired of it all.
